Special guest: Nilay Patel. Special topics: the iPhones 13, Apple Watch Series 7, kids today and the file system, the Lightning / USB-C debate, and, of course, our speculation about next week’s “Unleashed” Apple event.

There was an armed robbery at the Cake Shop Bakery in Pembroke this afternoon [April 1] with “two men brandishing firearms” entering the premises and stealing an “undisclosed quantity of cash. A police spokesperson said, “Around 4:38 p.m. today, Thursday 1st April, 2021, police responded to a report of an armed robbery at the Cake […]

This is the time of year we think about overindulging on rich and elaborate foods. We also open our doors to family and friends to celebrate winter holidays. That's why you've always wanted to impress them with a delicious home made cheese cake. There are plenty of classic recipes on the internet that involve cream cheese, sugar, eggs, and flavoring, but the process is rather delicate. If you've tried before and had a less-then-perfect result, The Takeout will troubleshoot for you with the 12 most common mistakes in baking cheesecake. If you've never made a cheesecake before, so many possible mistakes may intimidate you. Relax, I've made cheesecake a few times and it's not as difficult as you might be led to believe. Even when it isn't perfect, it's still cheesecake, and that's a wonderful thing.

But if you have perfected the art of baking a cheesecake, you might want to take it up a notch and make Japanese cheesecake, which is the light and airy soufflé version. The Takeout has you covered with instructions for that, too. Now you'll be ready to really impress your holiday guests.   

(Image credit: Alice Wiegand)

In a classic bit from an early Seinfeld, Jerry and Elaine are at the airport, trying to pick up the rental car that Jerry had reserved. As usual, things go poorly and get awkward fast:

Seinfeld - "Reservations"

JERRY: I don't understand...I made a reservation. Do you have my reservation?
AGENT: Yes, we do. Unfortunately, we ran out of cars.
JERRY: But, the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.
AGENT: I know why we have reservations.
JERRY: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation--you just don't know how to hold the reservation. And, that's really the most important part of the reservation...the holding. Anybody can just TAKE them. [grabs chaotically at air]

And, how weirdly similar is that to our conflicted relationship with New Year's resolutions?

In Seinfeldspeak?

See, you know how to make the resolution, you just don't know how to keep the resolution. And, that's really the most important part of the resolution...the keeping. Anybody can just MAKE them!

Oversimplified? Probably.

But, ask yourself. Why this? And, why now? Or, why again?

Welcome to Resolvers Anonymous: I'm 'Merlin M.'

A few years ago, I shared a handful of stories on the failures that have led to my own cynicism about the usefulness of life-inverting resolutions. Because, yeah, I've historically been a big resolver.

Here's what I said when I first suggested favoring "Fresh Starts and Modest Changes" over reinventions:

Download MP3 of "Fresh Starts & Modest Changes"

Five years on, I think I probably feel even more strongly about this.

Partly because I've watched and read and heard the cyclical lamentations of folks who decided to use superficial totems (like new calendars) as an ad hoc coach and prime mover. And, partly because, in my capacity as a makebelieve productivity expert, I continue to see how self-defeating it is to pretend that past can ever be less than prologue--that we can each ignore yesterday's weather if we really wish hard enough for a sun-drenched day at the beach.

It simply doesn't work.

Companies that think they'll be Google for buying bagels. Writers who think they'll get published if they order a new pen. Obese people who think they'll become marathon runners if they pick up some new running shoes. And, regular old people with good hearts who continue to confuse new lives with new clothes.

Has this worked before? Can you look back on a proud legacy of successful New Year's resolutions that would suggest you're making serious progress by repeatedly making a list about fundamental life changes while slamming prosecco and wearing a pointy paper hat?

My bet is that most people who are seeing the kind of change and growth and improvement that sticks tend to avoid these sorts of dramatic, geometric attempts to leap blindly toward the mountain of perfection.

I'll go further and say that the repeated compulsion to resolve and resolve and resolve is actually a terrific marker that you're not really ready to change anything in a grownup and sustainable way. You probably just want another magic wand.

Otherwise you'd already be doing the things you've resolved to do. You'd already be living those changes. And, you'd already be seeing actual improvements rather than repeatedly making lists of all the ways you hope your annual hajj to the self-improvement genie will fix you.

Then, of course, we make things way worse by blaming everything on our pancakes.

Regarding "The First Pancake Problem"

Anyone who's ever made America's favorite round and flat breakfast food is familiar with the phenomenon of The First Pancake.

No matter how good a cook you are, and no matter how hard you try, the first pancake of the batch always sucks.

It comes out burnt or undercooked or weirdly shaped or just oddly inedible and aesthetically displeasing. Just ask your kids.

At least compared to your normal pancake--and definitely compared to the far superior second and subsequent pancakes that make the cut and get promoted to the pile destined for the breakfast table--the first one's always a disaster.

I'll leave it to the physicists and foodies in the gallery to develop a unified field theory on exactly why our pancake problem crops up with such unerring dependability. But I will share an orthogonal theory: you will be a way happier and more successful cook if you just accept that your first pancake is and always will be a universally flukey mess.

But, that shouldn't mean you never make another pancake.

So Loud. Then, So Quiet.

I offer all of this because today is January 7th, gang. And, for the past week, all over the web, legions of well-intentioned and seemingly strong-willed humans have been declaring their resolved intention to make this a year of more and better metaphorical pancakes.

And, like clockwork--usually around today or maybe tomorrow--a huge cohort of those cooks will begin to abandon their resolve and go back to thinking all their pancakes have to suck. Just because that first one failed.

And, as is the case every year, online and off, there won't be nearly as many breathless updates to properly bookend how poorly our annual ritual of aspirational change has fared. Which is instructive.

Not because new year's resolutions are a universally bad idea. And, not because Change is Bad. And, not because we should be embarrassed about occasionally falling short of our own (frequently unreasonable) aspirations.

I suspect we tout the resolution, but whisper the failure because we blame the cook. Or, worse, fingers point toward the pancake. Instead of just admitting that the resolution itself was simply unrealistic or fundamentally foreign.

And, that's a shame.

Remember, there's no "I" in "unreasonable"

Granted, I'm merely re-repeating a point I've struggled to make (to both others and myself) for years now. But, it will bear repeating every January in perpetuity.

Resist the urge to pin the fate of things you really care about to anything that's not truly yourself. The "yourself" who has a real life with complicated demands. The "yourself" who's going to face a hard slog trying to fold a new life out of a fresh calendar.

Calendars are just paper and staples. They can't make you care. And they can't help you spin around like Diana Prince, and instantly turn into Wonder Woman. Especially, if you're not already a hot and magical Amazon princess.

First, be reasonable. Don't set yourself up for failure by demanding things that you've never come close to achieving before. I realize this is antithetical to most self-improvement bullshit, but that's exactly the point. If you were already a viking, you wouldn't need to build a big boat. Start with where you are right now. Not with where you wish you'd been.

Also, accept that the first pancake will always suck. Hell, if you've never picked up a spatula before, be cool with the fact that your first hundred pancakes might suck. This is, as I've said, huge. Failure is the sound of beginning to suck a little less.

And, finally, also be clear about the sanity of the motivations underlying your expectations--step back to observe what's truly broken, derive a picture of incremental success that seems do-able, and really resolve to do whatever you can realistically do to actually get better. Rather than "something something I suddenly become all different."

At this point, you have logistical options for both execution and troubleshooting:

• Make a modest plan that you can envision actually doing without upending your real life;
• Build more sturdy scaffolding for sticking with whatever plan you've chosen;
• Make a practice of learning to not mind the duds--including those messed-up first pancakes;
• Or--seriously?--just accept that you never really cared that much about making breakfast in the first place. Care is not optional.

Otherwise, really, you'd never need to resolve to do anything. You'd already just be cooking a lot. Instead of being all mad and depressed about not cooking.

But, please. All I really ask of you. Don't blame the pancake. It's not really the pancake's fault.

Like me, the pancake just wants you to be happy. This and every other new year.

---

WendyHarris1955 posted a photo:

unbranded
plywood (basswood)
175 pieces
280 x 350 mm

TED: "I fink this lickle cat an' tiger pussle's cute. It's got pussycat wimsys an' it's shaped, so it's gonna be a keeper. The wobbly edj wuz a bit fiddly an' I 'ad to check the pikchur to make shure I 'ad it rite, but uvverwise it's a good'un.
That peece of cake I'm abowt to eat is Mum's 'ome-made froot cake spredd wiv butter - s'nice cuz she puts whisky in it. That's the cake, not the butter!"

A 77-year-old slice of cake from Queen Elizabeth II's wedding to Prince Philip was auctioned for $2,800.

Pastry artist Zilly Rosen renders Presidents Lincoln and Obama in cupcake form at the Smithsonian American Art Museum (Meredith Bragg). Read more at http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/Inauguration-2009.html

Read more at http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Wayne-Thiebaud-is-Not-a-Pop-Artist.html He made a name for himself painting pastries and other everyday objects, but his other work--cartoons and cityscapes--showcase the scope of his talents.

The cake topper read "25 years," and the bottom tier featured snapshots of Amrita's famous movie characters

Kendall Jenner's 29th birthday photos feature three unique cakes. See her Instagram post inside.

Masaba Gupta shared an Instagram story describing her delicious birthday cake crafted by chef and baker, Pooja Dhingra.

The 77-year-old fruitcake, gifted to Marion Polson, the housekeeper at The Palace of Holyroodhouse, was accompanied by a personal thank-you letter from Queen Elizabeth II herself

Anshula shared a heartwarming video from the intimate gathering on Instagram, where Boney Kapoor can be seen feeding cake to everyone.

Title: Cheesecake Factory's Breakfast Burrito Tops Latest Xtreme Eating Awards
Category: Health News
Created: 8/28/2018 12:00:00 AM
Last Editorial Review: 8/28/2018 12:00:00 AM

While we're getting a Gears Of War prequel in Gears Of War: E-Day, this does mean that Gears Of War 6 is yet to be a thing. In a recent episode of IGN's Podcast Unlocked, former Gears Of War director and current Diablo 4 lead Rod Fergusson revealed what his plans were for Gears 6 when he left. In short, he was going to take the game to space. Righto.

Read more

This small vegan lemon drizzle cake packs a big flavor. Optional pomegranate seeds add a tart crunch as well as a festive appearance. It can be soy-free or nut-free depending on the type of milk or yogurt you use. It’s been a while, almost 2 1/2 years, since I’ve updated this blog. I’ve been working...

Read More

The post Vegan Lemon Drizzle Cake appeared first on FatFree Vegan Kitchen.

While I do not think that the internet necessarily needs another recipe for burnt Basque cheesecake, it turns out I did. And since you’re stuck with me for as long as you’re here, pull up a chair, because we can’t get enough of this one.

Read more »

Confession time! As someone with more opinions than I can fit in three cookbooks, one audiobook, and even 18 years of archives on this website, sometimes when I want to grumble about something food-related but it’s not the time or place, I tuck it in a little document called “rants” that is so full of cringe, you only have my permission to publish posthumously. But I can’t write a headnote for this particular cake without first owning up to #23 on the list in advance: “Apple cider cakes are lies.” Which begs the questions: Who hurt you, Deb? What gives? Essentially, my quibble is that you can put all of the wonderful fresh-pressed apple cider you want in a cake, but it rarely comes through to actually taste like apple cider. The flavor is not robust enough. I’m not saying it can’t be wildly delicious with all of the cinnamon spice we also put in these cakes, but it rarely, to me, tastes like an accurate representation of its name.

Read more »

October is Pizza Month, minions, so this is a great time to go over a few reminders.

 Ahem hem hem.

Bakers, repeat after me.

"Pizza crust is not shiny."


Bakers repeating en masse: "Pizza crust is not shiny."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"If people can't tell my cakes are supposed to be pizzas, then I should stop making pizza cakes."

"If people can't..."

Bakers' Spokesperson, interrupting: "But what if we printed the pizza on the cake?"

::brief silence::

"No."

"What if we make the cake a slice of pizza?"

"NO."

"What if we made the cake brownies instead of cake?"

"HOW IS THAT BETTER"

"Ok, ok, fine. We won't make pizza cake."

"Excellent! Wait. Why am I suddenly nervous?"

"BOOYAH!!!!"

::sigh::

"I'm out."

Thanks to Anony M.,  Robyn, Heidi L., Carole D., Anony M., & Bartley I., for giving us a hand. Also are those pickles? Because I would totally eat pickles on pizza. Just me? 

*****
Here's an extra toasty way to celebrate Pizza Month:

Double-Sided Pizza Throw Blanket

It's hard to put a price on a blanket that makes you believe you ARE a pizza, but apparently the going rate is about $27. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Happy Halloween, minions! Let’s go out with a bang, shall we? :D

Bakeries get a lot of leeway this time of year, since Halloween is supposed to have ugly gross stuff:

 

But there's raspberry jam soaked zombie faces, and then there's... uh... this:

Took me a solid minute to figure it out:

A banana shooting laser beams.

(I am SO GOOD AT THIS, you guys.)

 

Yep, bakers are once again trying to collectively punk the world, churning out ridiculous Halloween designs each more baffling than the last:

Aliens? Amoebas?
This guy?

 

I actually see this design a lot:

The angry toilet paper has sprouted arms, and is pulling itself to freedom.

 

While this roll vows revenge on airbrushes everywhere:

"I am not 'pretty,' I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?"

 

Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident.
Because if THAT doesn't say "Happy Halloween"... then don't worry 'cuz the board does:

 

For some reason ghost sperm are always a big seller this time of year:

They look kinda confused, though, right?
Like they can't tell if they're coming or going.

[HEYO.]

 

Also confused? Me, after looking at this thing:

They managed to get icing absolutely everywhere except on top of the cupcakes.
Now that's scary.

 

And finally, a possessed stove burner:

Because haunted appliances are SO hot right now.

("It burns. IT BURRRRNS!")

 Have fun tonight, gang! Remember, this is the one night of the year when it’s OK to have candy for dinner, so take FULL advantage.

There's a ghost of a chance Brittany D., Carrie, Ginny V., Karen S., Megan S., Karrie T., Jennifer K., Jennifer R., & Shannon T. will be ordering out tonight. You're welcome, ladies!

******

P.S. Today's TP ghost cakes led me to the best home accessory ever:

THIS, my friends, is a "Talking Toilet Paper Spindle." You record your own message, which it will play back when your guests spin the roll. [rubbing hands together evilly] I can't wait to use this baby at our next Christmas party.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

And now, as a service to our readers' dieting endeavors:

7 MORE Things That Should Never Be On Cake

7. Anything that looks like a spleen

Also, why is the spleen the go-to organ for icky descriptions? You never hear someone say, "Hey, that organesque thing sure looks like a gallbladder!" Which begs the questions: is "organesque" a word? 'Cuz if not, it totally should be.

6. Shrimp

Because shrimp.

5. Nipples

Hey, don't get me wrong; nipples are great. Heck, I even have one myself. But cake should not have nipples. It just shouldn't. And the fact that I had to bring that sentence into the world makes me seriously question the direction this country is going.

4. Ants

Because anything I spend time and money trying to kill should not be something I have to pick off my cake.

3. Actual Feathers Plucked From Actual Birds

Let me get this straight: you jammed real feathers into the icing you expect me to eat?

So how about I fetch a beaver pelt and throw that sucker on there, too? Because if there's one thing we've learned about cake decorating, it's that animal outsides are both appetizing and completely sanitary!

2. Mold

BAKERS WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

1. Back hair

Actually, this is kind of hilarious.

Assuming those are chocolate shavings, of course.

***

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THOSE ARE CHOCOLATE SHAVINGS.

Thanks to wreckporters Kathryn B., Kerrigan W., Ashlee, Kelly G., Rocky J., Tami F., & Anony M. for the inspiration to just have a salad today.

The word cake is of Viking origin “kaka”. The differentiation between breads and cake has been difficult.

The Greeks used to make cheesecakes with goat’s milk.

In Rome...

Over the years, PHP development has turned out a lot of...

दिसंबर का महीना शुरू होते ही सभी लोग क्रिसमस और न्यू ईयर सेलिब्रेशन की तैयारियों में लग जाते हैं। घर को सजाने से लेकर पार्टी की प्रिपरेशन करने में लग जाते हैं। लेकिन इन सभी तैयारियों में सबसे खास

From cauliflower cakes, sushi cakes to prawn cakes, international and regional cuisines have a range of delicious salty bakes

Anna’s cakes are customised to suit client’s tastes and each is a piece of edible art

Bakers and chefs are innovating with the traditional flavours of Onam

Soha Ali Khan and Kunal Kemmu's daughter Inaaya turned seven, and the family got together to celebrate the happy event.

How much smarter can a the smartphone get? Samsung seems to have an answer.

The Indian team which defeated South Africa to win its second T20 world cup flew on a chartered Air India flight from Barbados and were driven with a police escort to the South Delhi hotel

Brunch, sorted

The word cake is of Viking origin “kaka”. The differentiation between breads and cake has been difficult.

The Greeks used to make cheesecakes with goat’s milk.

In Rome...

In today’s hard times, policy-makers can find it difficult to sell their environmental policies. To many, these policies represent a burden on the economy.

He's been wowing fans with his epic cake creations for his son Sonny's birthday each year.

If you thought vegan festivals were just for vegans and veggies, think again. Everyone is enjoying vegan these days from Will.I.AM and Jennifer Lopez to Benedict Cumberbatch and Brad Pitt. Vegan week from Great British Bake Off showed us just how much fun you can have with vegan food and now the supermarkets appear to be competing with each other as to who can bring out the best new vegan goodies. Vegans now have their own cool menus in most mainstream restaurants, pubs and cafes. So if you’re

A pancake heart valentine for the special people in your life.

Looking for a side dish for your Easter dinner that's out of the norm? These delicious cakes would do the trick - just don't tell your guests they're eating bir

In honor of this delicious holiday, we’ve got recipes for organic and vegan chocolate cakes to satisfy everyone’s cravings.

Pancake was born with a skeletal deformity and has to rely on only her back legs, but it sure hasn't slowed her down.

Factoring in no-cost charging, electric vehicles are a no-brainer, and now Volta has a national plan.

Despite being ancient, a fruitcake found in the Antarctic from a 1911 expedition looks as fresh and unappetizing as the day it was made.

Suet is a high-calorie source of easily digestible food for birds, and making it couldn't be easier.

These jeans are for real. You can't make this stuff up.

After reading this recipe, you may never eat pancakes without Prosecco again, no matter what the calendar says.

Mooncakes are a traditional part of the Mid-Autumn Chinese festival. But there's more to the legend of this pricey pastry.

Find more Twitter Visit here for more information. Continue your research here. Keywords: Unique wedding cakes, Cake shops in toronto, Speciality birthday cakes, How to make specialty cakes, Specialty cakes online, Custom cakes toronto.

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