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Bunday: Winter Camouflage

Here we have two hardened, wild bunnies of the north! Perfectly camouflaged to blend in with their wintery world.

-Sally Squeeps






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Lily the Prairie Dog

Sarah says This is our female prairie dog, Lily. She loves her triscuits!










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Reader Squee: It's a Hard Life

Kerkopithekion says: "Our 14-week-old puppy Storm living the hard life of sofa naps and belly rubs."

Oh, what a hard life! I do not envy him... just kidding, I totally do.

-Sally Squeeps

Do you have a squee pet that you want to share with the world? Send us your pet pictures and stories, and they could end up on Daily Squee!





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Reader Squees: Need a Napkin?

ZombieGeisha says: "My guinea pig, Spooky, making a mess of his orange snack."

Now Spooky, who is going to take you seriously when you can't even bother to wipe your chin?

Do you have a squee pet that you want to share with the world? Send us your pet pictures and stories, and they could end up on Daily Squee!













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What Security Software Do You Recommend? (2024 Q4 update)

Here are my latest recommendations for specific security software and techniques.

What Security Software Do You Recommend? (2024 Q4 update) from Ask Leo!.
Get the Confident Computing weekly newsletter: https://newsletter.askleo.com









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The War on Christmas

Embed from Getty Images One long standing Christmas tradition at Fox news is perpetuating the mythological war on Christmas. While it is not a self-evident truth that Christmas is safe in the United States, the idea that there is such …Read more »




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A Philosopher’s Blog 2016 free on Amazon (12/31/2016-1/4/2017)

This book contains essays from the 2016 postings of A Philosopher’s Blog. Subjects range from the metaphysics of guardian angels to the complicated ethics of guns. There are numerous journeys into the realm of political philosophy and some forays into …Read more »




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The Return of Sophism

Embed from Getty Images Scottie Nell Hughes, a Trump surrogate, presented her view of truth on The Diane Rehm Show. As she sees it: Well, I think it’s also an idea of an opinion. And that’s—on one hand, I hear …Read more »




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Charter Schools I: Preliminaries & Monopolies

Embed from Getty Images In November of 2016, president elect Trump selected Betsy DeVos as his Secretary of Education. While this appointment seems to have changed her mind about Common Core, DeVos has remained committed to expanding charter schools. Charter …Read more »




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Charter Schools II: Choice & Quality

Embed from Getty Images In the previous essay on charter schools I considered the monopoly argument in their favor. On this view, charter schools break the state’s harmful monopoly on education and this is a good thing. It is worth …Read more »




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Charter Schools III: Ideology & Choice

Embed from Getty Images In my prior essay on charter schools, I considered the quality argument. The idea is that charter schools provide a higher quality alternative to public schools and should receive public money so that poorer families can …Read more »




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Charter Schools IV: Profit

While being a charter school is distinct from being a for-profit school, one argument in favor of charter schools is because they, unlike public schools, can operate as for-profit businesses. While some might be tempted to assume a for-profit charter …Read more »




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Take All The Time You Need, Even From The Past!

Client: “So you got everything you need? Take all the time you want. We really believe we understand the mind of the creative individual. We know it takes time to create a powerful ad.”

Me: “Yeah. It does. Thanks.”

Client: “But it’s urgent. Just imagine that it should have been done as of yesterday.”

Me: “But no deadline?”

Client: “Right. Well, I mean, we need it for four days, but otherwise, yeah; no deadline.”




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That Better Be An Amazing Roast Dinner...

I was made redundant from my previous job as a design engineer. As such, I look for any work just to keep the lights on. I get approached by an employer who offers competitive rates of pay and other perks. It’s a small company but I go for the interview.

When I get there it’s the grounds of a huge mansion. The interview is completed in the drawing-room and they offer to show me around. I assume we would be in an office or factory or working from home… I am wrong.

I’m taken out of the house to a small shack with no heating; inside are stacks and stacks of paper. When asked about this I am told the employer doesn’t trust computers… for a computer-aided-design based business…

Instead of running, I ask one final question regarding the perks: “Oh you get a Christmas dinner with us too and it’s compulsory and unpaid.”

I left so fast!

I got something far better three weeks later!




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So Not Worth It

A family friend asked me to work on her home computer.

Friend: “If you can’t fix it, I assume you messed it up beyond repair and will owe me a new computer.”

I stopped then and there.




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Makes You Want To Throw The Book At Him. Literally.

My boss is a seventy-something-year-old man with barely a clue on how to get a computer to boot. He gave me an old book and wanted me to convert it into an ebook to sell. And mind, this was a thick, large-format book chock-full of maps and other illustrations with tiny blackletter script.

Me: “Sure, I can do it, but I’d have to scan it in a massive resolution so the detail isn’t lost. The final file would be massive; it wouldn’t be practical to download it, and a normal ebook reader wouldn’t be able to display it correctly.”

Boss: “So, we’d have to make it less detailed.”

Me: “How do you mean?”

Boss: “It wouldn’t be possible with the illustrations; you’ll just have to make the writing bigger on all the pages.”

Me: “…”

Boss: “As for the pages with only text on them, you will just convert them into a Word document.”

Me: “That’s not how that works.”

Boss: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s just straight-up not possible, at least not with the software we have.”

Boss: “Can you do it on the Internet?”

Me: “No.”

Boss: “How do you know?”

Me: “I know.”

Boss: “Show me.”

I showed him that it’s not possible to convert a scanned book page into a text document on some random converter found on page one on Google.

Boss: “Okay, so you will instead cut the text out in Photoshop, make it larger, and arrange it on a new Photoshop file the same size, with less of a rim around it so the number of pages doesn’t get much higher.”

I flat-out refused, telling him it would be months of absolutely pointless work. He didn’t believe any of my claims, anyway, so I just converted the whole d*** thing into an ebook, which, in the end, was like 8GB in size. Since our server had 10TB, he also didn’t believe me when I tried to tell him that it was an absurdly massive file that few people would want to buy on that account.

Ah, well. At least I didn’t have to rearrange like 300 pages of text.




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Deadlines: Emphasis On "Dead"

I’m a year and a half into the development of a new web application for managing complex data sets. Our boss has never been able to provide proper specifications for what he needs, just a flood of vague ideas with no real detail and constantly changing scope.

My job is to try and turn this into a comprehensible list of tasks that the dev team can actually follow. Each month, I have a planning session with the boss where we hash out the next period of work. Each session, I remind him that changing the scope means adding more time.

We agree and sign off the work to be delivered by the end of the month. So far, we’ve hit every deadline.

I thought we had a pretty good system in place until:

Boss: “I can’t believe we’re so far behind and how poorly you’ve managed this project.”

Me: “What do you mean? Haven’t we met all the agreed deadlines throughout the project?”

Boss: “I’ve made a spreadsheet of all the dates I wanted each feature done by. So far, you’ve missed every single one of them.”

Me: “Excuse me? We’ve always delivered what’s been agreed on time. Where have these new dates come from?”

Boss: “This is how long I thought the work should take and I made up my own timeline.”

Me: “I’ve never seen these dates before, let alone agreed to them. At a glance, many of them seem extremely optimistic.”

That’s business talk for “f****** mad”.

Me: “We agreed at the start this would be at least a three-year project.”

Boss: “Well, I decided it should take less time and you’re late. I’m going to have to pull the plug on this project if you can’t have everything wrapped up within the next month.”

I politely remind the boss that there was at least another year and a half of work left to complete the project. I’ll probably be looking for a new job shortly.




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BYOE (Bring Your Own Exposure)

I am a freelance writer with particular academic expertise. My work is becoming more well-known and widespread, so my profile is rising somewhat. As a result, I am emailed out of the blue by an old acquaintance whom I’d worked with previously on a media project. He works in the media himself, and it shows.

Client: “Hi, mate. Long time no see. So, I’m putting together a new site, all about [subject]. I reckon it’ll be a really great resource, but I’m trying to get it off the ground. Would you be willing to write a piece for it? With your profile, it would really help get it noticed.”

I realise it will be a very quick job, and I bear the guy no ill will, so I am fine to do him a favour.

Me: “Yeah, okay. Sounds doable. I’ll send something over in a couple of days.”

Client: “Great, thanks. I’m afraid there’s no budget, so I can’t pay you, but it will be great exposure for you.”

Me: “So, you’ll get exposure because it’s me writing for you, and that exposure will be how I’m paid?”

Client: “Yeah. That all okay?”

I just sent him a quick piece in the end, seemed easier. Never saw the eventual site; presumably, it didn’t happen because his “pay me to work for me” strategy didn’t pan out.




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The Old Familiar Game: Stupid Or Scammer?

Client: “We’re a startup game company, and we need one character with thirty different eyes, thirty different mouths, thirty different hairstyles, and thirty different bodies for our game where the character can be customized.”

Me: “Okay, that’s technically thirty characters with each element drawn separately and/or in separate layers.”

I then give my rate for thirty characters.

Client: “Your profile says you charge [amount] for only one character. Please give us that rate since it’s only one character but he has thirty different mouths, eyes, hair, and bodies. So the price should be just for one character.”




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Installation-ception

Client: “I have a CD here that I want to install.”

Me: “What’s on the CD?”

The client starts reading out all the files on the CD.

Me: “That isn’t helping.”

Client: “Okay, could you come over and help me install the CD?”

Me: “Can we do this over Team Viewer?”

Client: “Sure, could you come over and install Team Viewer for me?”




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If You Had A Nickel For Every Mistake...

I do in-house design work for my boss. I’ve worked with her for ten years and she swings wildly back and forth from being surprisingly design-savvy (not for a literal decade of trying on my part) and being a client from Hell. Today, she swung somewhere in the middle.

I have spent the entire time I’ve known her explaining how you cannot just pull photos from Google; I’ve explained copyright, public domain, etc. She refuses to buy photos 99% of the time, so I usually use free stock photos when possible. When she absolutely needs to buy a photo, she emails our web guy and has him buy one for her and add it to her next bill.

Me: “I see you got [Web Guy] to purchase the photo for the ad and forwarded me the email with the file. Unfortunately, the file is too small. Unless he sent you a separate email with a larger file, I will just email him for the correct one.”

Boss: “Maybe it’s how I sent it. I’ll try again.”

She forwards me the same email.

Me: “No, no, it’s not you. The file he sent you is labelled “thumbnail,” which is a preview file. He probably just sent the wrong one by accident. I have emailed him.”

Boss: “What about this one?”

She sends an email with the same photo attached.

Me: “That’s the same one. I have emailed [Web Guy]. Don’t worry about it. You don’t have the correct file.”

She forwards the same original email from [Web Guy].

Boss: “What about now?”

Me: “No, boss, I’ll get it from [Web Guy].”

She forwards the individual email she sent me.

Boss: “How about now?”

Me: “Boss, no.”

Closure: She now has a stock photo account that I have access to.




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Doggone This Client!

I’m at a briefing with a client, along with a board made up of the client’s in-house developers and designers. While discussing an idea with some of the other people in the room, the client stands up and starts hitting the desk with the newspaper.

Me: “Excuse me, but what are you doing?”

Client: “Hush, this works on my dogs at home. It should work on you too.”

He beats the table with the newspaper for a few seconds.

Client: “Now, sit, and stay.”

He continues to beat the table. 

Me: “I’m sorry, this is ridiculous. I’m terminating you as a client.”

As I walked towards the door, the client jumped up from their seat and blocked the door.

Client: “If you want a snack, I’ve got some under my desk, no need to leave the meeting!”

At this point, I shoved him aside, and walked out, followed by him. Whistling, and shouting “come!”




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Not Developing An Understanding

My girlfriend works for a state-funded company and was the lead on the re-design of their website. They already had a developer lined up, but his design skills were not on-par with what they had in mind. As a web designer, I was naturally my girlfriend’s first selection for the job. After five minutes of discussing what they need to be done, I know I will have to turn down the job to save our relationship. 

Client: “So we need you to design three different options for the website and it needs to be designed in HTML and CSS.”

Me: “Okay, but if I’m just designing it, what do you need me to do with the HTML and CSS? Am I designing and developing the site?”

Client: “Just designing it, what’s the problem?”

Me: “Well, if I am designing it, why do you need me to use HTML or CSS? I can develop the site too if that’s what you’re asking?”

Client: “No! You’re not listening! You’re just designing the page, but we need it to be designed in CSS and HTML so it can be developed by[Developer’s Name] for our website.”

Me: “I don’t think you understand what HTML and CSS are.”

Client: “Yes I do! I took a marketing class!”

Me: “…”




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Yeah, THAT Was The Unrealistic Part

Client: “We would like a drawing of a moose on skis.”

I send the art.

Client: “Why there were two feet on each ski?”

Me: “People ski on two skis and a moose has four feet so I put two on each ski.”

Client: “That is ridiculous!”

Me: “Which part? You’ll have to be more specific?”

Client: “Well, I’m pretty sure they don’t make skis that can accommodate two feet each!”

Me: “Right. That was a pretty big leap on my part, sorry.”




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Web Design Is Not Safe As Houses

This story happened a few years ago. A friend refers me to his mother, a real estate agent who wants a new website for her business. I call her to set up an appointment.

Client: “So, what is your expertise in real estate?”

Me: “I’ve done two real-estate websites in the past, and they’ve been quite successful. I can provide you with a searchable database of listings where buyers can filter by price and other factors, as well as a homepage with featured listings, your bio, and anything else you’d like to include.”

Client: “Yes, but have you ever sold a house before?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I’m not a real estate agent. I’m a web developer.”

Client: “So how do you expect to do a website for me if you don’t know anything about being a realtor?”

Me: “I know enough to build a website with a listing database which you can very easily populate with descriptions, photos, and any other info you wish to provide the buyers with. I can also provide other tools, such as a mortgage calculator and a lead-tracking system that allows potential buyers to contact you with listings they are interested in.”

Client: “I really don’t think you know what you’re doing. I think I’m going to have to pass and find someone who knows how to sell a house.”

Later, I discovered she had finished her website. On Geocities. Yellow background. 50pt font. Seemingly designed by a ‘real’ real estate agent…




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Wait Until They Find Out About The "It's A Free Country" Part

Me: “I’ve looked at the brief and it’ll cost [total].”

Client: “I thought you were a freelancer.”

Me: “I am.”

Client: “No, you’re not. You’re a chargelancer!”