A combination of image shows South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol and US President-elect Donald Trump. — Reuters/File

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"Theeeee Yankees lose!"

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(Image:The Kremlin stands in Red Square in Moscow on March 7, 2017 in Moscow, Russia. Credit: Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

If I had to choose one thing that holds me back from accomplishing my purpose, it is that vicious little vixen we like to call “comparison.”

As a woman, I have found upon confession that I am not the only one filling a seat on this struggle bus, so I hope I am not writing this post in vain.

I moved to Nashville over a year ago and, quite honestly, gained the songwriters momentum quickly. I was focused and driven, a picture perfect cliche of the American dream. I developed deep, valuable friendships within the industry, and began what I hoped to be a thriving career.

I came to Nashville believing that one could either be inspired or defeated by the amount of creatives in one city. With the best of intentions, I supported my friends and loved our little songwriting world. And then my friends started succeeding.

They went on world tours, got record deals, and signed to labels that set their writing schedules. They instagrammed shows and facebooked conference photos. They began to pass me in the race, versus run alongside. At least, that was my personal, emotional perspective.

On the outside, I celebrated each friend, went to their shows, promoted their new albums. But on the inside, I sank and sank fast. My faith and focus faltered, slowly stripping my heart of its original intent and filling it with a fear that God skipped over me and had chosen my friends instead.

You see, I struggled with staying in my own lane. I realize that phrase can be highly overused in any self-help arena, but just bear with me as we dissect.

Each of us, upon birth, are given the beautiful gift of a one lane road in the form of a “calling” or “purpose.” God gives us an identity and graces us with dreams and goals to fulfill His ultimate purpose on earth. Our simple task is to stay in our lane and run the race presented before us, to do the best we can with what He’s given.

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 3:14

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.” -1 Corinthians 9:24

I was constantly glancing over at my friends and family, eyeing their race with envy and, ultimately, defeat. If I had simply kept my eyes forward and focused on God’s path versus theirs, who knows what I would’ve accomplished by this time.

Comparison is crippling. Learning to stay in your lane and embrace your personal race isn’t easy, trust me, I’m still a work in progress. But there are a few things I’ve picked up along the way that might be worth a read.

So how do we stay in our lane? How do we keep that focus? Lucky for you, I have a few car analogies to get things rolling. (Get it? Rolling? Like a tire? Yeah I’m awesome.)

"IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE, DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE”

Remember 5 years ago when Oprah went bat poop cray over texting and driving, creating awareness and a culture shift in her wake? We all know texting and driving is not only idiotic, it can be deadly. Too many statistics solidify that fact. And yet, how many times do we catch ourselves on an empty highway or bored in a traffic jam typing away?

We check our Facebook during lunch hours, we don’t go out unless the plan is Instagram-worthy, and we get all our news updates from Twitter. Our lives revolve around connection, and social media has become the great connector. It can be a beautiful thing, a generational tool to be celebrated! It can also be fatal when viewed at the wrong time.

One of the main contributors to my personal life-lane swerve was social media. I was in a habit of waking up and hitting my newsfeed before I hit snooze. Everyday I began with a solid dose of comparison. With every “like,” I developed a big fat failure feeling, all before my first cup of coffee.

I will say, it took a certain amount of self-awareness to realize that this was an unhealthy habit for me. Some seasons I can celebrate every single human on my newsfeed with adorational abandon. (No, adorational is not a word.)

But I now know there are other seasons when I feel like life is moving a tad slower, or Jesus has me in a waiting period, when I have to monitor my social media intake. If I’m looking over at another’s filtered view of constant success, it’s easy for me to feel like I can never catch up.

If you’re constantly checking on another lane, you will veer off your course entirely, causing a mental collision that’s hard to come back from. Satan loves these little stalls, these tiny hits of negativity. Be honest with yourself and your journey.

Evaluate whether it’s a healthy season for you to be virtually present, and if it’s not, unplug. Trust me, your world will not end. People will still contact you. Your lunch will be just as good without the stand-on-chair crema filtered photo.

“CHECK YOUR BLINDSPOT, BABY”

One of the first things they teach you in driver’s ed is to never change lanes without checking your blindspot. There could be someone else in the way, or a road obstruction outside of your view.

When we swerve and skid into another’s lane, comparing ourselves to what seems like their massive success, we rarely get the whole picture. We believe the grass is greener, however we don’t know what kind of weeds are hiding in their backyard.

It’s so important to check yourself when you begin to compare because you don’t know that person’s complete story. You don’t know what they went through to get to this place in their journey. You don’t know what they are currently battling to stay afloat. You don’t know who they hurt, loved, or lost along the way. You are literally comparing your entirety to their partiality and that makes no sense.

Perspective is everything. Everyone has a blindspot they keep hidden or quieted, so when you compare keep in mind that you are most likely not getting the full picture.

“WE GON’ CELEBRATE AND HAVE A GOOD TIME”

Remember that feeling you got as a kid? You’d be at your best friend’s birthday party and they’d be joyfully opening presents while you were forced to stand around and watch. Part of you was just happy to be in the room, genuinely excited to be celebrating your friend. The other was absolutely downright jealous that they just opened the brand new state of the art Playdough salon you’d been secretly saving for with every lemonade stand.

Can I get a witness?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that that feeling never really goes away. It just transforms itself into light envy via mountaintop engagement Facebook post, or new homeowners’ keys.

You see your friends moving on and having these amazing adulting wins, and boom, here comes that little comparison virus. I have found that a practical way of mentally battling that moment is to outwardly and sometimes embarrassingly celebrate your tribe.

When someone you love has a moment to celebrate and you find yourself comparing, immediately catch it, acknowledge it, and then defeat it by doing the exact opposite of what your feelings tell you. Take the friend to dinner, freak out on their comment section, lose your mind in their general direction. Celebrate your people, because that’s what we are called to do.

We are called to laugh with those who laugh, and mourn with those who mourn. So laugh, even when you feel like less, even when you feel left out or alone. Let those closest to you know that no matter what is happening in your life, you value their dreams and goals and support them completely. This isn’t easy. Trust me, I know.

There was a moment in a particularly hard season of singleness when a friend of mine announced her pregnancy. I had a choice. I could celebrate alongside her or cower in my defeat. I chose to celebrate her, shower her, and quite honestly over-honor her. I am so glad I did.

God blesses that obedience, and He fills that hurt. He is glorified through your willingness to lay your life down for your friend. So ya’ll, celebrate good times, come on.

“BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR”

The main thing that shocks me back into reality when I find myself comparing is one simple truth: THIS IS NOT MY LANE.

Let me explain.

This life, this gift of humanity you’ve been given, this lane is not yours. It belongs to God, first and foremost, no argument. When I focus on me, my failures, my insecurities, I forget the fact that this life and lane is meant to glorify Him.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10

Yikes. That’s terrifyingly blunt. “I would not be a servant of Christ if I was trying to please man.” We are here to share the gospel and our calling in life is perfectly assigned to reflect that truth.

The fact of the matter is, if you stay in your lane and keep your focus above versus beside, you’ll realize this race, this journey is not about you. It’s about Jesus. And if it’s about Jesus, then there’s nothing that compares. He is all that matters, His heart, His opinion, His work is incomparable.

This life is not about us. Your lane is not really your lane. It belongs to God. When I remember this, it puts everything into perspective. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or accomplishing. My passion and focus is on Jesus, and that alone is the prize. That alone is all I need to fulfill me. That alone is all I desire.

Trust that Jesus sees you and loves you. He celebrates you and covers you. When you look from right to left, don’t compare your story. Jesus doesn’t. Like I said, I am still a work in progress when it comes to comparison. But oh how the pressure releases when I remember that this life is not my own.

I’ve learned that if I keep my focus on Him, He never fails me. Stay in your lane. It might seem small right now, the road may seem windy or difficult, but know that God has gone before you. He sees every lane on that road and has made sure you are in the exact one that will fulfill the desires of your heart and bring others to His kingdom.

Celebrate your tribe, press forward, embrace God’s plan for your life. STAY IN YOUR LANE.

And always honk if you love Jesus, ya’ll.

Do you ever have those moments when God’s Word being alive and active gets super real? As spiritual leaders in our different capacities, we’ve all talked about it and referred to that sweet verse in Hebrews multiple times, but nothing beats those experiences when it becomes alive and active to us personally. Something else I’ve learned through these encounters is that it’s not uncommon for them to be meant for someone else besides you. So I’d love to tell you about one of those moments that happened to me. I’m confident that the message was blatantly meant for me, but maybe it’ll be an encouragement to someone else out there.

There I was, perusing 2 Corinthians 5. I was actually focusing initially on the piece about being a new creation, but in the midst of the passage, a phrase leapt off the page and hit me over the head with a supernatural force.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 says, “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”

FOR. THE. LOVE. OF. CHRIST. CONTROLS. US.

Other translations use words like compels, rules, and puts us into action. What does it mean to live a life compelled by the love of Christ? The conviction settled in deep that it should look much different than my life does now. I like to think that overall, I’m a fairly generous, kind, loyal, and patient person. But then I get woken up by the sound of my children fighting, or get stuck behind that annoying driver who clearly has no clue where they’re going, and I realize quickly that there are short limits to that generosity, kindness, loyalty, and patience. Why? Why can’t I seem to get this down? Then it hit me that instead of being compelled or controlled by Christ’s love, I’m allowing myself to be compelled by my own mood and feelings. And let’s face it, when those take over, who knows what might happen?

What if, though, for one day I chose to see everything and everyone through the lens of Christ’s love? What would be different? Well for starters . . . the way that I interact with my 3 sons. Imagine the changes that would take place in my home if I dealt out more gentleness. Please tell me I’m not alone in this struggle. What about forgiveness? We are so quick to attach conditions on our willingness to forgive someone. Yet Jesus forgave with no strings attached. Marriages . . . Someone once set the challenge before my husband and I to approach each day with the mindset of out-serving one another. What if that became the norm in Christian marriages and homes? Then there’s the Church! Some of the hardest people to love walk through the doors of our churches on a weekly basis. Some of them may even be serving within our different worship ministries. What would change within our ministries if we figured out how to love each individual, compelled by Christ himself?

For those of us lucky enough to grow up in the 90’s, you didn’t have to look far to find someone wearing a W.W.J.D. bracelet. What Would Jesus Do? It sounds like such a simple question. But at its core, it holds the power of life and death when it comes to our relationship to those around us. Taking that pause to consider Christ’s perspective changes a lot of things.

Something else to consider . . . living a life compelled and controlled by the love of Jesus offers us a whole new level of freedom. When we encounter the situations or people that normally drive us to those places we don’t like to go, there’s no longer any confusion about how we are to respond. Jesus will always love. He will always forgive. He will always deal in patience. He will always give of himself without complaining. He will always put others first. That seems to make the decision making process a lot easier, doesn’t it? If only that translated to our everyday lives as easily.

So how do we do it? How do we approach our days completely ruled by Christ’s love? I’m inclined to think that the rest of Paul’s thought in 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 helps answer that question. The solution for us is found smack dab in the middle of the gospel. When we remind ourselves regularly of the cross, and the redemptive work that was completed there, adjusting our behavior and choices seems to come a little more naturally. Keeping the cross and Christ’s love ever before us, may we see those around us the same way He did, and may we let that same love dictate our every move. That, my friends, has the power to bring a little Heaven to earth!

The Milwaukee Brewers are adding to their fraternity of Gold Glove winners, and it's not a very long list. Here are the Brewers who previously won.

Reaksa was abandoned by her parents and lived with her poor grandmother. Feeling unwanted and unloved, Reaksa followed a group of girls to a village church. That's when she discovered a love she never knew before, and it changed her life. See how.

Joseph is legally blind, making the cleanup after Hurricane Milton particularly challenging. Operation Blessing provides a team of volunteers to restore his property and minister to his spirit. 

The bond we share with dogs runs deep. The satisfaction of gentle head scratches or a round of playing fetch is simple and pure, but in other ways, the connection we have is truly unknowable. How do dogs make our lives better? How do they think? And how do we give them the lives they deserve?
 

Original Air Date: February 05, 2022

Guests: 

Blair Braverman — Quince Mountain — Donna Haraway — Sarah Miller

Interviews In This Hour: 

Adventure, goofiness and trail snacks: Stories from the dog musher's journal — Getting inside the mind of a dog — Nothing makes losing a dog easy. But a bridge dog can help. — Joy and peace, high up on Dog Mountain

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