Balanced advantage funds are seen as attractive in the current market as they tend to generate risk-adjusted returns and insulate investor portfolios from stiff corrections

No Laughing Matter By JIM MCTAGUE
Cartoonist and blogger Scott Adams is outspoken about economics, politics and more -- but tight-lipped about Dilbert, hero to cubicle jockeys.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE ECONOMY COULDN'T POSSIBLY get worse comes this disturbing news: Dilbert's mismanaged high-tech company is foundering, jeopardizing the lovable cartoon character's oppressive but steady job as an electrical engineer in a stuffy cubicle, where he's manufactured laughs about illogical and inhumane corporate managers for nearly 20 years.

Barron's won't divulge the climax of the current plot. During a recent interview, Dilbert's creator, Scott Adams, asked that we merely hint at what lies ahead for the cylinder-headed nerd with the upturned, clip-on tie. But read the daily Dilberts carefully over the next few days or weeks; clues abound and they don't point to a happy conclusion.

That's fitting because, as Adams notes in Dilbert 2.0, his $85, 576-page 20th-anniversary collection of 4,000 of his more than 8,000 cartoon strips (plus a DVD): "Dilbert is most popular when the workplace is at its worse." In fact, the strip, a window on workplace absurdity, took off during the downsizing binge of the early 1990s. In one memorable sequence from that period, Dilbert competes with a monkey to keep his engineering job. Dilbert wins, but his victory jig is short-circuited by his pointy-haired boss' decision to place the monkey on the upper-management fast track. Sounds like a telling commentary on the corporate world of 21st century's first decade, too.

Adams' current strips and very funny blog (http://www.dilbert.com/blog/), which often feature the cartoonist's insightful economic and stock-market commentaries, provide more hints about Dilbert's fate. A Dec. 12 blog argues that the recession is anything but temporary: "I think we are on the verge of a change as profound as the Industrial Revolution. Society will have to retool its expectations to meet the reality that there just won't be enough money to provide necessary services if we insist on consuming in an inefficient way."

One clue about Dilbert's fate appeared on Dec. 13 in newspapers around the world (Dilbert is published in 70 countries and 25 languages) in what turned out to be one of the most popular episodes in the strip's history: A financial adviser recommends that Dilbert's pointy-haired boss invest all of the company's funds in sick livestock. Don't buy just one sick cow, the adviser urges; buy an entire herd, because by aggregating sick cows, the risk goes away. "It's called math," the adviser adds, in a send-up of the asset-backed securitizations that have helped topple the global economy.

The financial adviser, by the way, is a malicious canine. In his blogs, Adams is equally unkind to real advisers and money managers. In his view, formed long before the disrobing of Bernie Madoff, they're always conniving to steal investors' money. Perhaps this depiction is payback: Adams lost a bundle following advice during the tech bubble, which also convinced him that investing in individual stocks and "professionally managed" funds is a losers' game. His advisers put half of his portfolio into WorldCom, Enron and other sure things and lost 40% of his invested cash, he says. He managed the other half and lost 20% in the tech wreck.

"Most of the investments I made in individual stocks went bad because managements were lying. They are the source of the information for the markets." His conclusion: "It is even dumber to pay an expert to talk to the liar for you and charge you 1% of your portfolio." Some folks who bought funds of funds that invested with Madoff surely would agree.

The Philadelphia Inquirer’s review of President Obama Election 2008: A Collection of Newspaper Front Pages Selected by the Poynter Institute on Sunday (1/19/09) includes the following:

Everyone should probably grab one as a momento, but for sheer fun, the best of the commemoratives is President Obama/Election 2008: A Collection of Newspaper Front Pages from the Poynter Institute (Andrews McMeel). It gathers dull headlines (“Historic Victory”), witty ones (the Tulsa World’s, “Yes He Did”), and lovingly local riffs (The Jakarta Post’s “Barry’s Done It!”).


President Obama
(ISBN-13: 978-0-7407-8480-4)

Parading of elephants should be strictly restricted to registered temples, churches, mosques, and rituals which are associated with these institutions. Any introduction of new rituals or reviving of dormant rituals should not be permitted.

Atul Krishna and Jyothish Kumar defy physical limitations to excel in badminton, inspiring with their determination and talent.

“The sessions will include new road safety guidelines in keeping with advancements in automobiles and road construction and also amendments made to the Motor Vehicles Act in the recent past”

Landowners along the stretch seek adequate compensation for small tracts of additional land that will be acquired in keeping with the revised alignment

DMK MP Kanimozhi was addressing an event held at the Ernakulam Town Hall to felicitate Sr. Vinitha, director of St. Teresa’s College, for her contributions to higher education, social welfare, and culture.

Proposals for upgrade or downgrade CPSEs need no longer be referred to Cabinet Secretariat and Public Enterprises Service Board

Maruti Suzuki India, Toyota and Hyundai Motor have been lobbying for tax cuts on hybrid vehicles

The Indian Embassy in Kuwait has set up a helpline for family members, and Prime Minister Modi has announced an ex-gratia relief of ₹2 lakh for the families of deceased Indian nationals

Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister Chandrababu Naidu expected to personally examine policy changes in all departments

The greenfield port will be a key infra asset in IMEEEC project

I&B Ministry stated that advertisements issued for products related to food and health sectors will be required to upload an annual self-certificate on the Broadcast Seva Portal and Press Council of India portal.  

The scheme has largely been women-centric with 29.48 crore beneficiaries while 35.27 crore of total accounts are from rural and semi-urban branches

The Cabinet also clears the proposal to change annual licensing fee conditions

Suggestions have been sought to increase the number of geriatric care packages under the health insurance scheme

Focus will be on liberalising sector specific policy as and when required; improving processes