In the wake of Covid-19, We Are One: A Global Film Festival is taking the experience online. But cinema is a bigger encounter

Every year, at Cannes (and other festivals) there’s a plaintive argument about what Cannes (or other festivals) are really all “about”. Some Savonarola-type person will dash the glass of rosé out of your hand, throw your canape into the Med and tell you Cannes is not about red-carpet narcissism, not about stars preening in the flashbulb glare of celeb-worship, not about L’Oréal sponsorship, not about getting drunk at a million late-night parties. It’s about the movies, about cinema itself.

Of course. And that’s what the new Covid-19-related We Are One: A Global Film Festival appears to offer: the 10-day online festival, beginning 29 May, curated by Jane Rosenthal of the Tribeca film festival, featuring arthouse films (though not the big-ticket Hollywood items) from Cannes, Venice, Berlin and many more, streaming for free in return for an optional donation to the World Health Organization’s Covid-19 fund. So there you have it. A festival with all the frills and extras and flummeries stripped away. Just you, in your bedroom, with your laptop, communing with cinema. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

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Dear Diana,
Last week, when I was at my friend’s home, a couple of drinks down, I got carried away. I was at his place for dinner. My pal got a call from his office for some work. One of his office staff members then dropped in with a bunch of documents. He got busy and was at his laptop. His office help and he were going through the papers. My pal’s wife and I then moved to the balcony with our drinks. Their bedroom has an entrance from the balcony. I was quite drunk, but in my senses. As it was windy on the balcony, his wife said we could sit in the bedroom. A few more drinks down and we got carried away. I kissed her, but she did not move away. Nor did she stop me. It was as if she wanted me to make the first move and get physical with me. A few minutes later, we walked back to the living room where her hubby and his office guy were still busy with work. She behaved as if nothing had happened. I, too, kept quiet. Now, I can’t get over her. I crave for her touch even though I am also married.
– Arindam

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Arindam,
You are playing with fire and you know the consequences. She is your buddy’s wife so you will lose not only a dear pal, but also destroy your marital life. She may have had her reasons to let you on, but when it comes to revealing the truth, she might just put you in the dock. She will then blame you and say that you outraged her modesty. Your friend will then take her word and will not believe what you say. It is better that you get this woman out of your mind. Avoid interacting with her too much. Her hubby is your pal, not she. If she is keeping quiet about it, then let it remain between you two. At the same time, never ever again get yourself in such a situation.

Former cricketer Andrew Flintoff gives a thumbs up to monitoring calories in bed, but his wife, Rachael, isn’t pleased with this. Pic/AFP

If you thought mobile phones are a rude intrusion in your bedroom, the fitness band might be the latest addition to the list. Former English cricketer Andrew Flintoff recently revealed (or 'overshared', according to British tabloids) that he wears a digital fitness tracker band in the sack. He added that it helped him meet his calorie burn target for the day and also egged him to go harder in bed to satisfy his wife. His revelations raked in much ridicule and shock from female social media users. Adding to the buzz on social media, his wife Rachael admitted that she wasn't a fan of the idea.

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Ameeta Sanghavi Shah

How much is good?
Mind, life and relationship therapist Ameeta Sanghavi Shah feels that balance is the key to a relationship's success. When the goal (here, fitness) becomes bigger than everything else, it signifies that something larger is at play. Shah credits this obsession to the individualistic lives couples live today, away from their relatives and family. "We seek growth and better results. While that is good, we lose the security of the known while coping with a world of crazy change. We become anxious even as we strive to be positive. When we can't control the demands of ensuring certainty and meeting our own need for being perfect, we begin to control the things we think we can. This is where compulsive behaviour steps in. It gives us the illusion of control over the bigger picture," explains Shah.

Deanne Panday, celebrity fitness expert

Celebrity fitness expert, Deanne Panday seconds Shah's opinion. "Fitness is a journey, not a destination. If anything is used temporarily for motivation, or to help you get on track and not as an obsession, it can be positive. In this technology-driven world, the chances of dependency on gadgets are strong. But self-motivation is what works in the long run. Your body is a bio computer and if you listen, it will give you signs on what to do. You don't need a gadget for it," says Panday.

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A healthy inside
Panday adds that athletes need motivation as their career depends on fitness, but for a layman with a sound medical history, a holistic fitness pattern designed for their body will work. "I have seen a lot of people in Mumbai obsess about aesthetics and being skinny. But internal health is the key to a healthy life. Learn where to draw the line and keep your partner happy and healthy too," she adds.

The larger picture is what matters in the long run. Shah suggests that one should not convert everything in life into a training ground to measure, prove and build your strength. A relationship is not a game of numbers but a continuous experience that contributes to wellness. It comes from connecting to the self; machines and gadgets need to be put aside. "The language of compulsion of 'I have to' and 'should' must change to one of choice: of being aware and present - 'I wish to' or 'prefer to'. So, while you opt for monitoring gadgets, also spend time being mindful, meditating and connecting with your loved ones," Shah reminds.

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