Aditya CS Back in 1993, playing cricket for me meant hitting a plastic ball with a plastic bat. I was all of 4 then. Over the next three years, I played cricket with a rubber ball and a wooden bat while trying to emulate Sachin Tendulkar, much like most other Indian kids at the time. These were my first memories of cricket and Sachin was the only cricketer I knew. Then came the 1996 World Cup, the year I turned 7 years old and put up a poster of Sachin from Sportstar magazine in my room. This was also my last act as a fan of Indian cricket. During the 1996 World Cup, all I could understand was that Sri Lanka had gone on to win the World Cup and it was a big deal. But the thing that stood out from the tournament was watching these chaps in yellow kits play. Guys who played differently. I enjoyed watching them play in spite of not knowing why. I experienced disappointment as a cricket fan for the first time when Damien Fleming dropped Asanka Gurusinha off Mark Waugh's bowling in the finals and the second time when Paul Reiffel dropped Aravinda DeSilva in the same game. The World Cup was lost but since then I always wanted to watch the Aussies play. Cricket for me was not just about Sachin or playing with my friends anymore. It was about the guys in yellow who stood out for some reason for a 7-year-old kid from Chennai.  Before I knew it, I had become an Aussie fan. Eventually, I realised why I had become one. These guys were tough competitors. They never gave up. They were quicker and stronger than most other teams. They produced some of the best pacers the game has ever seen and pace bowling is still my favourite facet of this lovely sport. Their leg spinner was a legend in the making. Over the next three years I had a Shane Warne poster, an autographed photo of Warnie, a picture of the Waugh brothers and one of Ian Healy, alongside my poster of Sachin. By the time the 1999 World Cup started, I knew that the Aussies were a special team. They played a different brand of cricket. Brash, competitive, energetic, taking charge of the game, converting ones to twos, taking blinding catches, converting half chances and most importantly they did it all with aggression! I started playing sport like them, only to become an outcast in South India where humility is a characteristic one is expected to possess even in a boxing bout. The times when I served an ace in a game of tennis and followed it up with a smirk or engaged opponents in banter on the basketball court, I knew it was only adding to my 'bad boy' image. But I didn't care much like my heroes who played cricket for Australia. Despite being the bad guys, they were winning by stamping their authority on the sport. Though I wasn't much of a sporting success, I believed their approach was one that lets you take charge of things. Hook the bouncers, take them on, dive to take a catch, go for the direct hits and trust your teammates to back up your throw. And when you have the cherry in your hand, hit them with bouncers, say things that would put them off and get them out. Once the game is over, invite the opposition for a beer to your team's dressing room. This was the 'Aussie way'. The 'in your face' approach was working for them. Between 1997 and 2007, some of the most exciting cricketers to have played for Australia emerged. Steve Waugh, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Ricky Ponting, Brett Lee, Adam Gilchrist, Matthew Hayden, Andrew Symonds to name a few. These 10 years were also my formative years (from the age of 8 to 18) - a period during which I copped a lot of criticism because I was an Aussie fan. Be it at school, playgrounds or anywhere I went, I would always gloat when Australia won a game and rub it in the faces of those (pretty much everyone around me) who were cheering for India. After games, some Indian fans would go on to condemn the very players they had put on a pedestal before the game and in some parts of the country, fans would even resort to vandalism. But I stood by my team (the Aussies) through thick and thin because every Aussie fan was certain that their team would bounce back soon after a defeat. While India was bleeding blue I was bleeding yellow. I had been labelled an anti-national much before it became mainstream. I would root for Leander Paes at the Chennai Open as he, like the Aussies, was possessed with a never-say-die spirit. People who could not differentiate between sport and patriotism were asking me to go to Australia. I never really gave two hoots and continued being an Aussie fan, come what may! Even when I heard people from earlier generations talk about cricketing greats from yesteryears, the stories about Lillie (Dennis Lillee) and Thommo (Jeff Thomson) always had something about them that was missing in the narrative about the great Windies or that of Gavaskar standing up to defend a bouncer and make the ball fall in front of his feet. It was the chutzpah that was missing! It took me 11 years to understand why these guys in yellow stood out, back in 1996. Good old chutzpah! During their decade of dominance from 1997 to 2007, they lost an Ashes series in 2005, a couple of series’ against India and weren't dominating the T20 format but there was no doubt that they were the best team of the decade. They won three consecutive World Cups during this time. From 2007 onwards however, I had my fair share of disappointments. Teams had proved that the Aussies were no longer invincible and could be beaten. They were not the same formidable force anymore. But I was still an Aussie fan. I did not give up on my favourite cricket team. In 2011, India beat Australia in the World Cup quarter-finals. That was perhaps one of the worst days of my life. Friends from school, college, my neighbourhood, colleagues vented out years of pent up frustration of having to listen to me sledge them every time Australia beat India. It was my turn to cop some and I did it just the way the Aussies would. I answered every phone call and replied to every text saying 'wait till 2015'. I did not shy away from it.   Even though 2011-2013 saw an up and down patch, I still did not give up supporting the Kangaroos. Then came Mitchell Johnson in 2013 and along with Michael Clarke's batting prowess, I was back to my obnoxious best. And in the 2015 World Cup semi-finals, Australia beat India and went on to win the tournament and it felt like normalcy had been restored. There were many controversies the Australians found themselves mired in. There were allegations that they sledged, they were bullies, they don't walk (well no batsman ever did except Gilchrist) and I would defend them tooth and nail because I did not see anything wrong with bouncing a batsman or getting in his face and claiming a wicket. It was fine, they played tough and it worked for them. In 2003, Warne failed a dope test and I was sure that it was not to gain an unfair advantage. Ponting claimed a catch that hit the ground in 2007 and still I believed that they were not trying to cheat. Australians wouldn't cheat. They will bounce you, sledge you, bully you, stare and glare at umpires but wouldn't cheat. The belief was so strong that when Indian cricket was recovering from a match fixing scandal in 2001, the likes of Sachin, Dravid, Kumble and Sourav said what Indian cricket needed the most at that time was a series against Australia to restore the faith of Indian cricket fans. They needed to play a side that respected the sport and would give every game their all. A side that you know wouldn't think of losing at any cost. And most of all a side that loved the game of cricket. And boy, what a series that was! Indian cricket fans believed in their team once again. Yes they belonged to the other camp but I was happy for them. This is what I loved about the way Aussies played cricket. More than two decades of Australian cricket has been a part of my life and remains an influence on me, the way I looked at things, the way I faced situations head-on, the “never-say-die” attitude that was instilled in me during my formative years. But today I feel let down. I have nothing to say. I still can't believe what has happened. It still hasn't sunk in. An Australian team tampering with the ball. They cheated and they planned to do it. I feel sick in my stomach. I am swamped with thoughts of how the Aussie greats would be feeling. The guys who were my childhood heroes. Gilly, Warnie, Brett Lee, Steve Waugh. Guys I idolised. I wanted to live my life the way they played cricket. It's more than just being a fan or guzzling a few beers after winning an Ashes series. The way the Aussies played cricket, established a way of life for me. Brash? Yes. Obnoxious? Maybe. Arrogant? Perhaps. Tough? Definitely. Cheat? Never! Today Smith and his team have sinned. This is not something an Aussie side can ever do. Smith described his first reckless on-field mistake as a ’brain fade’ in Bengaluru last year and I felt uneasy then but still chose to believe, it was an error while using a relatively new provision in the game. But today it's carved in stone. An Australian team cheated and I will never forgive those involved for tainting, what was a way of life for me. For taking away from me my favourite retort to those who asked me, "Aren't you being a bit too aggressive/harsh/arrogant/abrasive?" by saying, "Perhaps I am, but that's also how the Aussies play their cricket.”  Because from this day on, using that retort could also mean I have been cheating.

Dear students, I trust all of you are keeping safe and healthy. You are still so young, but yet forced to witness so much turmoil and have thus evolved into thinking women (or in your words, ‘adult’.) While you were deciding between watching another episode of Sex Education or sleep, you were shaken out of your reverie and forced to reckon with the world – to fight for your freedom, your rights and now survive. Did I jinx it when I gave my farewell speech, saying that you had seen it all? From Brexit, Hong Kong protests, repeal of Article 370 in Kashmir, Revolution of Sudan, the assassination of Baghdadi, the crushing economic recession and the anti-CAA protests? Not in our wildest imagination did we think that the worst was yet to come, that we would one day be witness to a pandemic, a World War like situation with the entire globe shutting down. While being torn between my desire to consume more and more news, and drown in escalating anxiety, and resist the urge not to, for my own sanity, I couldn’t help but make a list of the lessons that we can learn from the pandemic. This pandemic is a perfect example of The Butterfly Effect – when a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it causes tremors on another, says Chaos Theory. COVID-19 has shown us the reach of the growing tentacles of globalisation, our relatedness and how everything is connected. All our actions have effects. We often take the World Wars for granted, don’t we? It had become another page in our history textbook, another date to remember and yet another pointless exam answer to write. But now we can understand how it would have been for people to live through the wars. To worry about resources, to scramble for good news, and hope in the face of crippling uncertainty. The Government is important – when we are in despair, we turn to the state for support. Only the state can pass the right policies, keep the system running and take care of its citizens. And this is why it’s in our own best interest that we stay abreast of news and use that information to make important choices. To vote. To exercise our right wisely and choose the best. While exposing the importance of the state the pandemic has also given rise to one major thought – which form of government works best? Communist countries with robust public health systems like China, Cuba and Vietnam have done very well in containing the disease, while neo-liberal democracies like Italy, Spain and the US have floundered. Is there a lesson here? Can there be too much democracy? Is the cost of a free and open society, a total disregard for community? Is there something utterly irresponsible about individual freedom? To take the US as an example, even while the number of cases were skyrocketing in New York and the government was pleading with people to practise social distancing, college students were seen frolicking on beaches and in pubs, indulging in spring break shenanigans and licking toilet bowls as a part of #CoronaChallenge. We now know what oppression feels like. Lockdown used to be the parlance of the Kashmiris. We now know what it means. Gaza. Palestine. Syria. Now that our lives have been painfully disrupted, we have a taste of what it is to lose freedom. And remember, we have only lost our freedom of movement. Did China conspire to do all this? Was COVID-19 created by China to choke the world and attain global domination? Was the virus created in a bio-research facility in Wuhan to be unleashed on ‘troublesome’ Hong Kongers and snuff out democracy forever? China’s successful handling of the crisis and subsequent closing of its international borders has given rise to many WhatsApp forwards and articles insinuating that the Chinese orchestrated the pandemic. Apparently, Chinese millionaires have bought shares in crashing companies worldwide ensuring China remains unscathed in the global recession that is sure to follow. Beijing hasn’t recorded too many cases and was never locked down. How was that possible? Well, we will ever know the truth. It’s perhaps also foolish to indulge in conspiracy theories, especially today when the fake news infodemic seems more lethal than the actual disease. In the face of growing racial discrimination, it’s best we ignore these theories and focus on reviving our societies instead. When we heard about the lockdown, what did we worry about most? Contracting the virus or the effect the lockdown could have on our minds? Most illnesses kill the mind before getting to our body. Is it still all in the mind then? Mental health is as important as physical health, if not more. Guess who is having the last laugh now? History’s longest and happiest social distancers – Kim Jong-Un and the Sentinelese of course (separately, not together though)! Oblivious to the outside world and happy to be isolated. Capitalism can be aggressive. Capitalism can kill people – America, the country that has never had qualms over waging wars against weaker countries (as long as it’s not on its soil) and destroying their economy to smithereens (while keeping their economy intact) – America that prides itself on being the stuff that dreams are made of – America that makes a hue and cry about a scrawny terrorist killing 10 people – is now grappling with an unprecedented crisis on its hand, with 500 deaths each day. For a long time, they chose to ignore the crisis, called it the ‘Chinese virus’ and lived in denial. Also, they could not bear the thought of their malls and merchandise coming to a grinding halt – after all that’s the machine that runs America isn’t it? The country with the highest GDP in the world. Alarming death rates have finally opened the government’s eyes and pushed them to place importance on public welfare over economy. It’s easy to pin all the blame on Trump, but it reeks of something more sinister, the corrupt moral fabric of America. The UK in order to not pick up the tab (since the government sponsors the NHS) decided to go for the long haul or work at herd immunity. Social Darwinism. Let life go on. Corona will kill the weak, the fittest will survive and the rest will develop immunity, was the policy. So who will bite the dust? The poor and the old, of course. It sounded like Hitler was espousing his model for superior genes all over again. One thing is for sure. This pandemic is changing the world irrevocably. At a personal level we may now choose to be more mindful of our health and reorganise our priorities. At the global level, there will probably be two kinds of government control – greater surveillance of citizens at the cost of individual freedom and maybe tighter borders. Is social distancing giving rise to national isolation? Is nature telling us something? Have we been grounded to repent for what we have done to the planet? Perhaps we are the virus and corona is trying to get rid of us. The surreal image of Olive Ridley turtles nesting along the beaches of Bhubaneswar peacefully, for probably the first time in their life, is testimony. The difference has not been more clear. What is essential and what is not. While we recognise that doctors, nurses, health workers, police, researchers, cashiers, grocers, farmers, journalists and teachers are the essential services of today, it must be also taken into account that they are also the least paid. The right to Internet is a fundamental, inalienable right. COVID-19 has been a great equaliser – it can infect the homeless man on the street and the Prince of England. However, it is a rich man’s disease – it has come from foreign travel. Yet who seems to be paying the price? The hapless migrants who had disinfectant sprayed on them for no fault of theirs. If we cared so much shouldn’t we have sprayed it on the NRIs and tourists who came from abroad? Inequality is the biggest problem in our country. I think we finally realise the true cost of development. Did we really need that flyover? Or that mono-rail for that matter? Should we be spending Rs 3,000 crore on a statue while our health expenditure is only 2% of India’s GDP? And should we elect such a government that chooses to do so? Countries such as South Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong have done well in mitigating the crisis than much richer European countries and the US. Which brings us back to the question – what makes a country ‘developed’? I’ve been curious of the crow sitting on the branch of my mango tree. Does it wonder where the humans have gone? Do the street dogs wish for our presence? What was running in the mind of the civet cat when it walked down a street in Kerala’s Kozhikode? Did they think it was the apocalypse or did they celebrate their freedom? It’s time we check our privilege – we can socially distance because we can afford to. We have savings. We have enough resources to even bake cakes and post it on social media. It was also privilege to hang out with friends and to explore aisles and aisles of our favourite snack. It’s a privilege to say goodbye. Indigenous people are right – we need to be in tune with nature. Listen to it, not encroach on it. The more we eat into the territories of wild animals and snatch their homes, the more trouble we will find ourselves in. If nothing else, this pandemic has made us self-sufficient. We can cook, clean and take care of ourselves, and sustainably too. And no, we do not need to shop so much online. We are the books we read, the movies we watch and the music we listen to. We are the art we create and the craft we make. In the darkest of times we turned to art to keep us alive and may we never forget that. The world will never be the same again. You young women are inheriting a brand new world. Rich from this experience, I know you will make a difference. May we emerge scathed but stronger. Views expressed are the author’s own.