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The Worst Things For Sale is Drew's blog. It updates every day. Subscribe to the Worst Things For Sale RSS!

The Worst Things For Sale is Drew's blog. It updates every day. Subscribe to the Worst Things For Sale RSS!

Yesterday I went looking for a homeless person who probably wasn’t going to accept any help.  “Have you seen this person?” I asked two DPW workers doing landscaping in a nearby park.  “Try the supermarket,” one of them told me. “Might be there. Walks around town all day.”  “Thanks.”  I’d parked my car next to […]

The post A Walk Among The Tombstones. appeared first on Waiter Rant.

Posted by Victoria Strauss for Writer Beware®

Selling film rights to Hollywood is among writers' most fevered dreams. And where there is something that writers want or need, there are always sharks waiting to take advantage.

The Hollywood book-to-screen "marketing" package was pioneered by Author Solutions, way back in the early 2000s. All the Author Solutions imprints offer it, including the imprints AS runs for publishers. Here's what the package looks like, from AS imprint Xlibris:

• Hollywood Ticket: coverage by a "professional reader." Cost: $999.00.
• Hollywood First Act: a synopsis, "critical analysis", and "45- 60-second teaser Book Video" for "catching film executives' attention". Cost: $2,999.00.
• Hollywood Director's Cut: an 8-10 page treatment by a "professional screenwriter", plus "consideration" by Author Solutions' "first-look Hollywood partner". Cost: $3,899.00
• Hollywood Producer's Pick: this is the big kahuna, a full screenplay written by a screenwriter, plus consideration by AS's first-look partner. Cost: $16,299.00. Note that the screenplay is based on "your approved Hollywood Treatment", which you must previously have purchased--so the real cost of this option is $20,198.00.

Although a handful of other assisted self-publishing companies have offered similar packages over the years (here's the one from Bookstand Publishing, for instance; Outskirts Press also had one for a time, though it seems to have been discontinued), Author Solutions hasn't faced a lot of competition in the high-priced Hollywood dream exploitation business--primarily, I'm guessing, because of the cost and coordination involved in providing the coverage, critiques, treatments, and screenplays to the authors who buy them.

That's changed recently, though.

An explosion of book-to-screen "services" has hit the internet, courtesy of the Author Solutions copycat scams that I've been writing about so much lately (there's a complete list in the sidebar). Author Reputation Press, Coffee Press, Dream Books Distribution, Media City Publishers, Paramount Books Media, Book Art Press, New Reader Media, BookVenture, Pearson Media Groups, MatchStick Literary, and more all offer some version of the Author Solutions book-to-screen package, either on their websites or in their (extremely aggressive) phone and email solicitations.

The value of any book-to-screen package is highly debatable, regardless of who provides it. Vendors of such "services" play on authors' dreams of making it big, while failing to provide any kind of realistic information about the extreme unlikelihood of success. Most books never sell or option film rights (they're among the subsidiary rights least likely to be exploited, even for successful authors with top-flight agents), and it's far harder to sell a screenplay than it is a book manuscript. For most authors, the most probable result of buying a book-to-screen package is a smaller bank account.

And that's assuming that the vendor actually provides the advertised services, and doesn't just take the money and run. Author Solutions, at least, does seem to produce the coverage, etc., it sells, in a reasonably literate manner (you'll see some examples if you read on)--though of course, like paid reviews, the critiques and coverage are likely to be customer-friendly--that is, unrealistically positive.

The copycats, on the other hand...they don't exactly have the greatest track records for quality, reliability, or service. Or honesty.

An example: Universal Book Solutions, which styles itself "a Book-to-Screen Marketing Professional, with years of experience in working for motion picture projects for producers, agents, directors, and major studios in Hollywood." As usual with the Author Solutions copycat scams, there's no information that would allow you to verify any of these claims--no list of owners or staff, no company history, no examples of successful projects. That's no accident, of course.

A sensible person might also wonder about the quality of written materials produced by a "Book-to-Screen Marketing Professional" that puts out website text like this (English-language lapses are one of the markers for the copycat scams):


Here's how UBS's slightly more literate email pitch begins (I've seen two of these now, and they're identical):

The email goes on to detail the services on offer--news release, coverage, treatment, and screenplay--in language that has been lifted directly from the Xlibris (and other Author Solutions imprints) book-to-screen package. As further inducement, a bunch of glowing--and conveniently unverifiable--quotes are appended at the end. Turns out that these too have been lifted, though from a different (and, in its way, equally questionable) source.


Anonymous testimonials are the best kind, right?

Last but not least, UBS includes several attachments--supposedly, examples of its work:


"Sample coverage" is this. Looks surprisingly literate and detailed, doesn't it? But wait. Here it is again...on the iUniverse website (the book was published by another Author Solutions imprint). Ditto for UBS's "sample treatment:" here's what UBS sent. Here it is at iUniverse (which also published the book in question).

(As for The Little Prince screenplay, I can't find any evidence of it online, but given all the other borrowing, it's sure to have been snitched from somewhere.)

So...a plagiarized book-to-screen package, promoted with plagiarized text, further promoted with plagiarized testimonials, and finished with sample documents produced by others and falsely presented as UBS's work. If you hand over your money to these folks (neither of the authors I heard from went far enough into the process to get a price), what do you think the odds are of getting any of the promised products?

Universal Book Solutions claims a Florida address (per a Google search, it's a private residence in what looks like a condo community), but has no business registration in that state. Its web domain was registered just last February. As for Allen Gardner, Project Manager, guess where he's located.
UBS is an especially egregious example of this increasingly common scam. But as noted above, there are many others, and they are aggressively soliciting authors, especially those who have published with Author Solutions imprints, small presses, and pay-to-play companies like Christian Faith Publishing and Page Publishing. Be on your guard, and if you hear from a company that wants to take you to Hollywood--for a price--remember that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

For a much more realistic discussion of the book-to-screen process, see Jane Friedman's excellent article, How a Book Becomes a Movie. Scroll down to the final comments to see one from a writer who was solicited by Universal Book Solutions.

We have a weakness for automated pancake machines here at Hackaday, but in terms of complete pancake machines rather than CNC batter printers we’re surprised to see more from the rest of the world than we do from the USA. Perhaps this has something to do with differences in opinion …read more

Man, this is a fine example of why it pays to be a reasonable, good human being, and not mess with your servicemen. This plumber was just doing his job, to the requirements asked of him, and the clients decided to make a mess of the whole peaceful operation. Clearly, they were trying to skip out on paying the whole bill. So, the plumber was extra sweet with finishing up the job. What might seem like a petty revenge on the surface, really evolves to be more of a cold and calculated pro revenge that likely haunted the folks for a long while after the job was "done."

Just the idea of finding a worm in a salad is enough to send some shivers running up the spine. Fortunately, in this case, after the worm was discovered, a surprising, but welcomed customer service story developed. Basically, Sainsbury's pulled through in the clutch to address the situation with some serious grace. 

It’s almost here! Tuesday morning at 10:30am Eastern, join us for the premiere of the long-awaited Peace Talks trailer. We’ll give you a couple hours to watch the trailer a half-dozen times and flail with all your friends about the explosive new details therein, then at 12:30pm Eastern, Jim and director Priscilla Spencer will be [...]

via http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.fctv-net.jp/~suetome/ecomark.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fctv-net.jp/~suetome/sub1.html&usg=__bS4PEXGVtYvtO7HkeShXOq3OEwM=&h=458&w=442&sz=57&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=oPrbxuSi86NtPM:&tbnh=128&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%25E3%2582%25A8%25E3%2582%25B3%25E3%2583%259E%25E3%2583%25BC%25E3%2582%25AF%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1116%26bih%3D747%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1

Nadia Whittome claims she was "sacked" but the care employer says she was no longer needed.

I love a good page layout. I’m a chump for a visually well composed series of paragraphs. The proper degree of corner rounding for a given set of photos in relation to a box three columns over sets my little heart aflutter.

The post The Beauty Trap in Design [Automattic.Design] appeared first on Zeldman on Web & Interaction Design.

Leandro Cuzzolino (bottom) of Argentina celebrates with his teammates Pablo Taborda (middle) and Santiago Basile (top) after scoring his team's fifth goal during the FIFA Futsal World Cup Semi-Final match between Argentina and Portugal at the Coliseo El Pueblo stadium on September 28, 2016 in Cali, Colombia. (Photo by Alex Caparros - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND - MAY 10: Winning captains Lola Corminboeuf of Young Boys Ladies and Tom Alen Tolic of Dinamo Zagreb pose with the trophy after the Blue Stars FIFA Youth Cup 2018 match between at Sportanlage Buchler on May 10, 2018 in Zurich, Switzerland. (Photo by Alexander Hassenstein - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)