I’ve updated my WordStar for DOS 7.0 archive, based on feedback from the thousands of people who downloaded the initial public release (which was version 1.4, dated July 30, 2024).This new version is 1.5, dated August 12, 2024. The new version has the file size of the PDF manuals reduced (which cuts the archive size […]

It’s that time of year again—but what a different year. The Toronto International Film Festival, COVIDVERSE edition, has begun.

The show must go on, though with a slate one-fifth of the usual size.

There are distanced and drive-in screenings, but we are forgoing those entirely in favor of digital screenings. For $19 - $26 a pop, viewers in Canada who grabbed tickets in time can watch on digital devices. Options include Chromecast, so we’ll be hunkering down in front of our home theater setup for a total of 39 films. No TIFF unfolds without technical problems, but this time an entire new set of them awaits!

Many rights holders are sitting on completed films hoping to launch them when normalcy returns to film exhibition. TIFF 2020 titles skew less toward the offbeat genre items that make up my typical must-see list and more to documentary, Canadian and generally serious fare. I did snap up tickets for the three Midnight Madness titles.

Normally we see 45 films each. We’ll be filling in the gaps with titles already on streaming services. Most years there’s a documentary about film near the start of the fest, so I’ve found one of those. We usually strive to stack up fun, poppier choices on the last Sunday, so I’ve picked out a substitute slate to replicate that. To not be weird, I’ll be putting capsule reviews of those flicks in our weekly Ken and Robin Consume Media feature, not here.

Pandemic Festival tosses our finely-tuned logistical routines, honed over 34 years, out the window. I’m sure you’re all anxious to hear about the profound changes this wreaks on our snack game.   

I’ve drawn up a specific schedule of screening times to keep us on track, with break times marked. Finally we can pause TIFF films for brief naps. We’ll be making a point to go out and speed-walk around the block to mimic the salutary effects of dashing between venues.

And as for the dudes loudly voicing wrong movie opinions while we’re packed, sardine-style, in line-ups at the Lightbox or Scotiabank, well, we’ll just have to imagine what they had to say about opening night:

Fireball: Visitors from Darker Worlds [US, Werner Herzog & Clive Oppenheimer, 4] Documentary explores the science and mythology of meteor, from Chicxulub to ʻOumuamua. The intersection between scientific discovery and religious awe, central to all of Herzog’s gorgeous, delightful nature docs, rises from subtext to text through the intercession of traditional elders, joyful researchers, and the Jesuit scholar of the Vatican’s heaven stone collection.

Enemies of the State [US, Sonia Kennebeck, 4] Documentary pulls apart a labyrinth of contradictory evidence around Matthew DeHart, an Indiana man who was framed for child pornography by the FBI as part of a Wikleaks espionage case, or created a story of secret files to shield himself either cooked up a Wikileaks-related espionage smokescreen to mask his sex crimes. Invites the viewer to join a filmmaking team as it goes ever deeper down a rabbit hole.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus. 

Shiva Baby [US, Emma Seligman, 4] The ambient social pressures of a post-funeral gathering skyrocket for a directionless college student (Rachel Sennott) when attendees include not only the expected ex-girlfriend (Molly Gordon) but also the sex work client she’s caught feelings for. Knife-edge comedy of emotional suffocation uses a plucky suspense score for that extra frisson of social anxiety.

If you've been missing family events during the pandemic, this film is the cure for that. Polly Draper and Fred Melamed appear as the loving but insufferably intrusive parents.

Night of the Kings [Côte d'Ivoire/France , Philippe Lacôte, 4] When the red moon rises over MACA, the Ivory Coast’s toughest prison, its inmate boss appoints the new arrival as storyteller—a post that results in death if the tale ends before sundown. Prison drama with compelling narrative hook widens out to encompass ancient warfare, contemporary politics, and even a wizard duel.

Spring Blossom [France, Suzanne Lindon, 4] Bored with her classmates, an awkward 16 year old (played by the writer-director) pursues her attraction for a ruggedly handsome stage actor (Arnaud Valois.) Character drama sets aside the sexual aspect of this staple French cinema situation to focus on the emotion, periodically breaking from naturalism to have its characters express their feelings through dance.

This year’s Q&As are Zoom interviews between the programmers and filmmakers, which drop on YouTube when the films become available for online viewing. In the Q&A for this one we discover that the director wrote it when she was 15, a year younger than her character. She’s 20 now. Lindon is the daughter of well-known French actors Vincent Lindon and Sandrine Kiberlain.

Get the Hell Out [Taiwan, I-Fan Wang, 4] Taiwan’s notoriously pugilistic parliament tips into arterial spray when the effluent of a controversial chemical plant triggers a zombie epidemic. Zombie comedy features an eye-searing palette and an onslaught of optical overlays, and is paced like a quarter kilo of crushed Adderall. 

It’s quite an achievement to find the worst hue of every color on the visible spectrum. Fortunately the underlying message, that government officials would respond to a pandemic by idiotically making it worse, has no bearing on anything that comes to mind.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Gaza Mon Amor [Palestine/France, Tarzan & Arab Nasser, 3] Middle-aged fisherman discovers a Greek statue and courts a wary dress shop clerk. Deliberately paced dramedy of life under oppression.

The Way I See It [US, Dawn Porter, 3.5] Documentary profile of Obama-era Official White House photographer traces his arc from work for the Reagan administration to anti-Trump social media gunslinger. Whether American viewers consider this slickly fashioned film heartfelt or sentimental will depend on party registration. It’s certainly explicitly framed to fire up Democrats to get out there to de-elect the current president.

Under the Open Sky [Japan, Miwa Nishikawa, 4] Out of prison after a long sentence, an aging yakuza (Koji Yakusho) struggles with his volcanic temper as he attempts to go straight. Bittersweet drama anchored by a lead performance from Yakusho, a mainstay of contemporary Japanese cinema.

Penguin Bloom [Australia, Glendyn Ivin, 3] A former surfer left paralyzed from the chest down by a freak accident reluctantly bonds with a magpie chick named Penguin, which one of her young sons has rescued. Sun-dappled animal-related family drama about the depression and anger that can accompany a life-changing injury.

In a regular year I would definitely have programmed Under the Open Sky, and would possibly have picked Gaza Mon Amor, depending on its position on the schedule grid.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Nomadland [US, Chloé Zhao, 5] When her town closes down in the wake of its gypsum mine’s closure, a self-reliant widow (Frances McDormand) moves into her van and joins the ranks of the nomad subculture, people who rove the US, taking whatever hard work they can get and living out of their vehicles. Rooted in social realist cinema, marked by a triad of transcendent qualities: poetic visual beauty, an indelible central performance and a deep love for the characters from the writer/director.

This is from Searchlight, formerly Fox Searchlight, now part of the Disney empire, so you’ll get a chance to see it. Likely as part of awards season, whatever the heck that’s gonna look like this year. Normally I don’t spend festival slots on titles with distribution but that’s out the window in the COVID-verse.

(At the moment cinemas are open, with distancing, here in Ontario but if you look at the numbers we’re in the early denial phase of a reimposition of lockdown measures. Whatever the deal is I don’t plan to be inside a theater in any foreseeable time frame.)

Her next project is a huge pivot from poetic verite dramas like this and The Rider— Marvel’s The Eternals. 

Memory House [Brazil, João Paulo Miranda Maria, 1] Racist harassment from German co-workers drives dairy worker to vengeance. Blunts the political anger of its subject matter with enervating pacing.

Another Round [Denmark, Thomas Vinterberg, 4.5] Burned out high school teacher (Mads Mikkelsen) embarks with three colleagues on an experiment to enhance their performance by maintaining a blood alcohol level of 0.5% throughout their days at work. Not only an original booze movie, but a big one, full of turns and ambiguities, and an utterly masterful performance from Mikkelsen.

Shadow in the Cloud [New Zealand, Roseanne Liang, 4] When an WWII RAF Flight Officer (Chloe Grace Moretz) boards a Samoa-bound cargo plane bearing a mysterious package, a monstrous gremlin on board is just one of the surprises. Enclosed space horror-action thriller tips an 80s-style hat to Carpenter and Cameron.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

The Inconvenient Indian [Canada, Michelle Latimer, 4] Essay-format documentary examines the Indigenous struggle for sovereignty and cultural reclamation in North America, as hosted by novelist Thomas King and inspired by his nonfiction book of the same name. Makes its case through cinematic language, pushing the archival footage and talking heads format to the background.

Beginning [Georgia, Dea Kulumbegashvili, 4] Depressed wife of a pastor bears the brunt of a persecution campaign from a local man hostile to their minority Baptist faith. The camera acts as a pitiless eye in this harsh, austere drama of pervasive male oppression.

I Care a Lot [UK, J Blakeson, 3] Corrupt legal guardian (Rosamund Pike) who slaps unsuspecting seniors into care facilities to bleed them dry triggers a cat-and-mouse game when her latest prey (Dianne Wiest) turns out to be the mother of a wealthy gangster (Peter Dinklage.) Engaging thriller— until it betrays the contract it has established with the audience.

Concrete Cowboy [US, Ricky Staub, 3] After yet another expulsion from school, a troubled teen (Caleb McLaughlin) gets dumped for the summer with his father (Idris Elba), who belongs to Philadelphia’s threatened culture of inner city horse owners. A rich social milieu is the star of the show in this affirming drama, which could do with a stronger drive to activate its protagonist.

Lift Like a Girl [Egypt, Mayye Zayed, 4] From ages 13 to 18, under the tutelage of a volcanic, motormouth coach, with a rubble-strewn lot on a busy Alexandria street, weightlifter Zebiba trains to be a champion. Fly-on-the-wall documentary inhabits a hardscrabble community powered by loving verbal abuse.

The coach and his key athletes denigrate the skills of male lifters, while constantly referring to the girls as boys, urging them to man up, and telling them they need to grow balls if they want to win.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

City Hall [US, Frederick Wiseman, 4] The latest of Wiseman’s distinctive epic-length observational documentaries studies the quotidian, procedural and human moments of human life as seen through the processes of municipal government in Boston, as held together by the thoughtful charisma of Mayor Martin Walsh. Improbably absorbing as always, this institutional cross-section offers a beguiling vision of an oasis of good government in the USA.

In a normal year I’d wait for the four and a half hour Wiseman documentary to arrive on television rather than taking up two time slots to watch it from the confines of a cinema seat at TIFF. But this is not such a year and with a digital screening you get a pause button when you need it. This is bound for PBS and due to the breadth of its subject matter will serve as an excellent introduction to those unfamiliar with this pillar of the documentary form. Or track down 2017’s Ex Libris, about the New York Public Library. In North America Wiseman’s filmography can be found on the Kanopy platform, which you may be able to access through your public library system.

The Father [UK, Florian Zeller, 4] Retired engineer (Anthony Hopkins) struggles to piece together the confusing reality of his living circumstances as his daughter (Olivia Colman) copes with his progressing dementia. Impeccably performed stage play adaptation puts the viewer inside the contradictory shifts of the protagonist’s subjective viewpoint.

Forget Draculas and Cthulhus. This is the real terror.

Summer of 85 [France, Francois Ozon, 4] Love between two young men in a French beach town leads to a bizarre crime. Teen emotions run high in a sunlit melodrama of Eros and Thanatos.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Beans [Canada, Tracey Deer, 4] As the 1990 Oka standoff envelops her Mohawk community, a shy tween achiever (Kiawentiio) decides to toughen up by ingratiating herself to the tough kids. Mixing the docudrama and coming-of-age structures offsets the inherent trickiness of both, but it wouldn’t work without an appealing and touching performance from its charismatic young lead.

Akilla’s Escape [Canada, Charles Officer, 4] Weed dealer hoping to leave the business (Saul Wiliiams) tries to recover his boss’ ripped-off cash and product without sacrificing a young gang member who reminds him of his younger self. Moody, laconic crime drama contextualized by the political history of Jamaican gangsterism.

Williams, a recording artist, also supplies the score. The kinds of films that play at the festival often economize by favoring black credit  screens over full title sequences, so it’s always a bracing change of pace to see a well-done one. The title sequence for this not only delivers a welcome jolt of mood and energy but does a lot of the storytelling work that would otherwise have to be done with expository dialogue.

New Order [Mexico, Michel Franco, 4] A wedding thrown by a wealthy family during a growing insurrection suffers a murderous attack by protestors and the kidnapping of the bride. Wildly disturbing vision of political violence and degradation takes its time unreeling its allegorical purpose.

David Byrne’s American Utopia [US, Spike Lee, 4] Filmed version of the Broadway version of David Byrne’s recent tour features joyous choreography, simple but arresting stagecraft, and songs from his Talking Heads and solo eras. When you shoot a concert film featuring David Byrne, you have to bring it, and Lee does that ably, finding countlesss different ways to shoot within a proscenium.

David Byrne has always been a hugely important artist to me, but I was surprised how moved I was to get to feel that I was at a live concert.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Pieces of a Woman [US, Kornél Mundruczó, 3.5] Grief tears a couple (Vanessa KIrby, Shia LaBeouf) apart after the death of their baby in childbirth, abetted by the insistence of her domineering mother (Ellen Burstyn) that they pursue legal action against their midwife (Molly Parker.) Wrenching drama marked by deep performances and key long take scenes. An otherwise masterful script reaches for the conventional when it hits its climax.

The New Corporation: The Unfortunately Necessary Sequel [Canada, Joel Bakan & Jennifer Abbott, 4] Polemical documentary deploys narration, stock footage and talking heads (some appearing via lockdown video conference) to survey corporate capitalism and the struggle against it from Reaganomics to COVID and the George Floyd protests. Comprehensive primer for the prospective young progressives includes a call to continued electoral action.

The doc starts by tackling apparently public-minded initiatives as Trojan Horses for privatization. It is a Crave Original. Crave, Canada’s premium cable/streaming service, is a division of Bell, one half of our reigning telecom duopoly and the lead sponsor of the Toronto International Film Festival

Violation [Canada, Madeleine Sims-Fewer & Dusty Mancinelli, 4] Woman (Madeleine Sims-Fewer) exacts meticulous revenge after her brother-in-law rapes her. Although this jarring, meditative drama includes gruesome imagery and horror-exploitation motifs, it’s closer in spirit to Michael Haneke than Dario Argento or Wes Craven.

Many years the power of coincidence throws up an unintended motif running through many of the movies we pick. Past examples have included cats, stress vomiting, animal slaughter, and teddy bears. This year’s motif: plastic bags as a suffocation weapon.

Falling [US, Viggo Mortensen, 3] Pathologically forbearing airline pilot (Mortensen) attempts to find a new situation for his lifelong miserable prick of a father (Lance Henriksen) as his dementia worsens. With one character incapable of change and another not needing to change, almost all of the scenes repeat the same dynamic.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Wildfire [UK/Ireland, Cathy Brady, 3.5] After going missing for a year, a bipolar woman (Nika McGuigan) drops in on her sister (Nora-Jane Noone), opening the wounds of shared tragedy. Raw, unsubtle family drama against the backdrop of Northern Irish politics as Brexit threatens a fragile peace.

The film is dedicated to the memory of lead actor McGuigan, who died of cancer last year.

40 Years a Prisoner [US, Tommy Oliver, 4] Documentary recounts the 1978 standoff between members of radical Black back-to-nature organization MOVE and Philadelphia police through the efforts of the son of two of the group members to secure their parole. A strong emotional hook greatly assists in telling a tenaciously complicated story.

I would like to have seen more on the genesis of the group and the first stages of their conflict with the mayor and police. So much needs to be unwound in the 1978 standoff that the even more astonishing story of a 1985 confrontation, which resulted in Philadelphia authorities dropping a satchel bomb from a helicopter, killing 11 and burning down 65 houses, goes unmentioned here. Another doc I haven’t seen, Let the Fire Burn, focuses on that part of the story.

True Mothers [Japan, Naomi Kawase, 4.5] Parents of a kindergartner react with dismay when a woman contacts them claiming to be his birth mother. Luminous, delicate drama of shifting perspectives.

Limbo [UK, Ben Sharrock, 4] Syrian oud player grapples with guilt over family left behind as he cools his heels with other refugee claimants at a center in the bleak and isolated Outer Hebrides. Moments of deadpan humor and stark landscapes layer this exploration of displacement.

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

The final day of TIFF 2020 has come and gone and below are my final capsule reviews. I’ll post a full capsule roundup on Monday.

Fauna [Mexico/Canada, Nicolás Pereda, 3.5] Narratives nest within narratives when an actor visits his girlfriend’s family in a sleepy small town. Comic misunderstandings, naturalistic locations and twisting meta-story may remind seasoned festival-goers of the works of Hong Sang-soo, with Coronas instead of soju.

Preparations to Be Together For an Unknown Period of Time [Hungary, Lili Horvát, 4] Top neurologist questions the accuracy of her recollections when she moves back home from the US to Budapest for a romantic rendezvous, only to find that the object of her affections professes not to remember her. Quietly suspenseful drama of psychological uncertainty.

The Truffle Hunters [Italy, Michael Dweck & Gregory Kershaw, 4] An aging generation of Piedmontese truffle hunters carries on the search for the elusive delicacy, fearing the poison bait left for their beloved dogs by ruthless newcomers to the trade. A documentary balm for lovers of food and canines luxuriates in the presence of sumptuously photographed forest eccentrics and their very, very good dogs.

Bandar Band [Iran/Germany, Manijeh Hekmat, 3] A pregnant singer, her husband and their guitarist try to get their van through a floodstruck region to attend a contest gig in Tehran. Neorealist drama where the obstacles in the characters’ path are literal.

The Water Man [US, David Oyelowo, 3.5] Imaginative kid (Lonnie Chavis) heads into the Northwestern forest in search of a legendary immortal, thinking he holds the secret to curing his mom (Rosario Dawson) of leukemia. One of the more successful of a recent wave of films that put a somber sin on 80s kids adventure, thanks to a well-constructed script and Oyelowo’s sure control of tone.

Among the differences of this digital-only fest was that it removed the flexibility to choose between multiple screening dates. In a regular year I program the last days and work backward to end on some combination of stronger and/or lighter selections. Here programmers assigned a 24 hour window for each film. These last movies weren’t what I would have picked as closers in ordinary times. To compensate for this Valerie and I are running a day of fake TIFF programming to simulate the funner final Sunday we usually shoot for. They consist of one film that played at TIFF 2019 and three others from previously-appearing directors. Play along at home by streaming The Vast of Night, The Forest of Love*, Mr. & Mrs. Adelman, and Ace Attorney.

*Update: Turns out this one is ultra-disturbing and in no way fun or light. Going into something with mistaken tonal expectations—just like the real TIFF!

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Capsule review boilerplate: Ratings are out of 5. I’ll be collecting these reviews in order of preference in a master post the Monday after the fest. Films shown on the festival circuit will appear in theaters, disc and/or streaming over the next year plus.

Is it hypocritical of me to say that I miss when people used to write long-form blog posts when I’ve been really bad at doing so myself? Probably, but something something do as I say not as I do. The … Continue reading →

1. Trailer: "Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy"  Dark Horizons
2. Trailer for Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy released  The Guardian
3. ‘Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy’ Trailer: Renée Zellweger Falls for Leo Woodall in Final Installment of Rom-Com Franchise  Variety
4. What's happening in entertainment news today  TODAY Show
5. ‘Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy’ Trailer Released By Peacock  Forbes

Nesia Daily Afternoon Edition  ABC News

1. Cop 29: Leaders to address summit after report finds climate pledges not kept – live updates  The Guardian
2. Live Briefing: Greta Thunberg calls site of COP29 climate summit ‘beyond absurd’  The Washington Post
3. COP29 gets underway in Azerbaijan  ABC News
4. Oil and gas are ‘a gift of God’: COP29 leader  The Australian Financial Review

In recent weeks and months, we've been having many posts and comments about Taiwanese language.  Today's post is quite different:  it's all about the difference between Mandarin as spoken on the mainland and as spoken on Taiwan. "Words of Influence: PRC terms and Taiwanese identity", by Karen Huang, Taiwan Insight (8 November 2024) What is […]

[This is a guest post by Denis Mair]      Cai Xutie was a Taiwanese woman who ran a family farm with her husband in a village near Jiayi in central Taiwan. She was a rice farmer and had never attended a public school. After her husband died in middle age, she sold some of the land, […]

Hello and howdy. I usually describe myself as turning the "ripe old age of so-and-so" on my birthday posts, but I may need a new adjective as I'm solidly in my mid-40s, now (44). Perhaps "fermented." The birthday's come and gone without incident, although there were minor contemporaneous incidents:

Still in the math hole. It might be an infinite hole. Trying to get out. But I have improved my console fonts and ANSI color libraries and GPU programming skills, at least. I was very pleased that a recent release of NVIDIA drivers came with a brand new updated OpenCL, which I previously assumed had been abandoned like so many computer things that I become fond of. Kudos to whoever at NVIDIA pushed on this. I am making myself laugh privately to myself (well, no longer private now) by imagining someone who spells it out like an acronym, N-V-I D-I-A.

Also, like usual, I ran the Pittsburgh Great Race, a mostly-downhill 10k. No encumbrances this time. I've been in good shape this summer, but I got sick last month and it set me back a bit, so this wasn't a star performance. Still 43m22s is not too bad and I didn't push myself all that hard. Fewer minutes than years old.

The new GPU is mostly for math, but I wanted to try it out for its Intended Purpose, (N)Video Games. So I played through Far Cry 6, which was okay. I liked it better than 5, which among other things had a bunch of technical problems (this one was much smoother and more stable), but I probably should have read my review of that game before downloading, as I say something like "I should probably stop playing this series." Still slowly savoring Tears of The Kingdom, which remains great. I also started Return To Monkey Island. I loved the first two in this series, but couldn't get into the later sequels; of course I'm interested in giving this one a shot since it's made by the original designers (and I did like Thimbleweed Park). Too early to render a verdict, but I did like how they deftly handled the canonicity of the end of 2.

Then there's this: I think this is Taylor Swift wearing a homemade t-shirt of her "Pegicorn" (sometimes "Pegacorn"), a Unicorn-Pegasus hybrid. The text is in my font Action Jackson:

Taylor Swift Pegicorn (Action Jackson font)

You can also see this drawing/font at the beginning of the "Making of" video for You Belong With Me". I think she posted this to twitter in May 2009, but somehow I'm unable to find an archive of her tweets from this time (inconceivable??).

Here is the new content:

I've mentioned that I have been working on running a five-minute mile on the treadmill this year, a goal that at one point seemed in reach. I think I also complained that I got sick and that when I got back to it, they had swapped out all the treadmills for fancy treadmills with built-in Netflix and air conditioning and stuff like that, which I now refer to as "Bob's Tred Mill." There's some good things about these, and some things that make me crazy, but one thing that especially made me crazy is they felt significantly faster than the old Precor ones I was used to. It's definitely a real thing that treadmills are sometimes not calibrated correctly (or the tread stretches out or slips, etc.) but it was also possible that being sick set me back more than I thought. The important thing is to get The Data instead of just The Upset Feelings so I was shopping for things like those hand-held unicycles that you can wheel around to measure how long things (like streets) are, as it does seem like the kind of device that I would own, looking at like the world's most accurate hand-held unicycle thing, and then I noticed at the last thing that most of them have a MAX SPEED of something like 10mph, which would not do. I finally had the brain-stroke that I could use a laser tachometer to do it, since these have a max speed more like 99999 RPM. So I measured the tread length with some chalk marks and put reflective tape on there. The treadmill will go at different speeds when loaded (running on it) vs unloaded, which also depends on your weight and stride and stuff a little, so you also gotta engage in the dexterity-testing act of measuring while running on it, which looked like this:

POV: You are me

Pointing the laser at the reflective tape dot (visible right next to the laser dot here) as it flies by while running kinda fast is definitely tricky, although I must say that it was one of those times when I thought, "I've been training my whole life for this!" and you can see that I'm showing off a little bit here by also photographing it at the same time. But you are not impressed since it reports 0 RPM. The nice thing about the tachometer is that it only needs a pair of observations to give you a frequency, and you can easily tell if you missed the tape, which you do often on account of the shaking, because you get some integer multiple that's way off from the right answer. Anyway I dutifully took multiple readings unloaded and loaded at (nominally) 6mph, 7mph, ... 12mph and made a spreadsheet with all the results converted, and... found that the treadmill is just about 1% too fast loaded, all across the board. This would be just 3 seconds for a five-minute mile, which is not nothing, but it definitely does not vindicate my Upset Feelings (I was thinking it felt more like 10%). My best guess is that the old treadmills were (all?) actually too slow, which is annoying because now I doubt some of the unofficial 5k records I painfully set for myself during the summer. But, well, the thing about endeavoring to do challenging things is: No Cheating!

In project news, I feel I have a foothold now to get myself out of this math hole, as I've finally migrated this algorithm to work only with 64-bit integer arithmetic and so I can port it to GPU soon and then be out of ideas about how to make it faster. I have no idea if there's a good story to be told for this project, but I'll try (and also, it is okay if sometimes the hobby programming doesn't lead to a video or Sigbovik paper, you know?). And speaking of Sigbovik: Heroes have emerged quite on time this year, so it's certainly looking like there will be a proceedings and conference (perhaps with livestream), so start writing those papers now.

Aside from the math hole, I've been making some progress on two other concurrent projects. It's getting normal again (even quiet) at work and winter break is coming up, and I'm looking forward to having some several-day stretches to work on them.

I played through Golf Peaks (well, I haven't beat all the bonus levels yet but I've been working back to front so it's just a matter of a little time at this point), which was a very nice little puzzle game that does almost everything right. Other than the very irritating music in one world, I think my only disappointment was that it doesn't elegantly handle infinite-length puts. I'm also still working on Return to Monkey Island, which I do like, although it doesn't hold up to my memory of the first two. I think one of the problems with modern point-and-click adventure games is the voices, actually: Not because the voice acting bothers me, but because it goes so slow compared to reading. It's like when you just want to figure out the maximum speed of the hand-held unicycle and they're trying to get you to watch a video instead of just reading. Tears of the Kingdom (which I'm still savoring, but getting close to the end now) does a good job with this; you do hear snippets of voices, which helps with the characterization, but you can blow through the dialog at a pretty fast pace. Probably a lot cheaper, too!

So what? We went to Mexico for vacation, visiting the island of Cozumel and some nameless resort area between Cancún and Playa del Carmen. This was just a vacation, for relaxing, so I spent most of the time programming for fun or writing my SIGBOVIK paper, but with a nice view of the ocean and a little bit of sand in my keyboard, and a little bit of mediocre Mexican beer. Cozumel was a pretty neat place: We happened to be there for the 150th year of their Carnival, which was happening concurrently with the Super Bowl, so there was a wild collision of tourist "culture" and local culture one evening. I added a picture to the Wikipedia article. It's a sparsely populated island, small enough to bike pretty much the whole way around, although as the bike rental guy informed us, "most people leave in the morning." We did some caving and won some bingo games and did some moderate to severe food poisoning, and now I'm back!

So what else? I'm deep into my project now and the end is (sort of?) in sight, but time is running short and I keep adding unnecessary aspects to it. It's fine. Even though I feel some pressure to keep making these elaborate projects, for deadlines, the real point of my hobby is for me to enjoy the spirit of the hack, which sometimes just means reimplementing typed closure conversion for the nth time.

Oh! I will be presenting at An Evening of Unnecessary Detail in Brooklyn on April 14. I have a silly style of beard again so that you can tell me apart from Matt Parker (aside from his very different accent and he's much taller than me and says it as "maths" and actually doesn't even really look like me now that I'm looking at a picture again). I think this will be quite fun.

I've been playing trough Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania, which like Katamari Damacy I had played some of ~20 years ago and had always wanted to finish. I do love struggling with a precision platformer, though as usual with 3D ones the analogueness and camera trouble can be a bit of a drag. It's a good game with a good flow, though, and I'm like 80% of the way through it at this point. And speaking of 3D precision platformers, Celeste 64 is a cute 3Dification of Celeste (which remains one of my all-time favorites in the precision platformer genre) that they released for free recently. Initially I found this game really frustrating; it doesn't have nearly the same attention to detail in the controls that the 2D game does. But by the time I finished it, the controls and camera no longer seemed disastrous to me, and I pretty much liked it. On the other end of the spectrum, I for some reason bought "Yeah! You Want "Those Games," Right? So Here You Go! Now, Let's See You Clear Them!" and then for some reason beat every level of it. This game is an in-depth implementation of some notorious "games" featured in Mobile Game Hell-type advertisements. (If you're not aware of this phenomenon, it's common for the advertisement to depict some kind of casual gameplay that looks kinda fun, but that if you download the app it's linked to, it's like some totally different game like Clash Of Clans or something like that. So there are all these fairly recognizable games that you can't actually play. Bizarre! I'm guessing that there's just a market for "just get us downloads of the app" where they literally don't even care what the content of the advertisement is.) Anyway, this long-titled game is an implementation of some of those, with like hundreds of levels. Honestly I can't tell how ironic it is, but I did appreciate it as artwork even though it was also basically torture. I recommend it if you are my enemy, or if you like is-it-art?-torture. Having finished that and immediately deleted it, I just started Teardown, which I like so far, but I haven't gotten into it enough to provide a full take.

As some have noticed, I haven't put on too many posts of late, due mostly to my slightly dodgy health and to family commitments.. In addition I am weeks away from my enforced retirement as a JP when I hit 70 at the end of October.

I shall keep the blog going as long as people click on to it, and I shall take the chance to say a few things that might have got me into hot water as a magistrate. 

Stay tuned, and it might be worth your while. If not, at least it's free!

There was a news item this week about the sentencing of some people who organised dog fights, with large sums wagered on the result. I saw one such case a few years ago, and it needed a strong stomach to look at the evidence. The fight took place in an abandoned farm building and at the end the whitewashed walls were heavily bloodstained. We simply remanded the two defendants, and my colleagues sentenced them a few weeks later after reports were prepared. The aggravation was considerable; organised for money, dogs had to be destroyed, and so on so. They received the maximum six months each and were banned from keeping animals for ten years. In this latest case numerous social-media comments have complained that the six month sentence was not enough, but as usual that raises the question of just how long is enough? All sentences have to fit into the scale somewhere; for example can it ever be right to impose a higher penalty for cruelty to animals than to people?

Here's the Guideline:-

http://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/item/animal-cruelty/

Watch it again on the BBC iPlayer

Sevenoaks slider Lizzy Yarnold says the fact Britain has no real purpose built tracks is the main reason behind British success in the sport

A few years back, when Cynthia Leitich Smith was off to Vermont for the VCFA residency, I undertook an exploration of Austin pizza joints and pizza blogging: the rules were these: aside from a dinner salad prior to the pizza, my meals were pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  For ten days.  For the record, the first time I did it, I lost five pounds; the second time, two and a half.

Here's the inaugural post from 2009:  A Pizza a Day and Other Weird Activities.

I tried this again January 2015, but posted only to my Facebook account (I'll be reproducing the posts here along with this edition, with the term "archive" in the header).  I also did it in July 2015.

To view the entire line-ups, just click the "pizza a day" label.

This time, I decided to do something a little different, since I'm on the verge of exhausting Austin's specialty pizza places:  I'm going to see how many pizzas I can make using various techniques.  I'll also take a look at some of the places I've missed or have recently opened.

And, for Christmas, I received this nifty little item:

Yes, it is a starship Enterprise pizza cutter.  So of course I had to make a couple Star Trek-inspired pizzas:
(You can see the Enterprise if you squint real hard).  The saucer section was Canadian bacon with an olive for the bridge.  The nacelles were scallions and the engineering section Belgian endive.  The pizza didn't turn out so great but the cutter worked fantastically.

I also made a pizza in honor of our Klingon allies:

This one sort of drifted apart due to migration of the mozzarella, but it is a Klingon D7 class battlecruiser.  The main hull was a green pepper, while the nacelle supports were red onion.  The nacelles themselves, and the neck section, were scallions, and the bridge was a mushroom slice.

Q'apla!

This is a post I originally put only on Facebook in January 2015.  Click here for background.

And the first pizza of the January 2015 #PizzaADayDiet comes from Hoboken Pie! A thin crust sausage, mushroom, and green pepper -- all the ingredients were fresh and in abundance. The sausage and sauce were slightly spicy and the crust was really thin. It could have had a tad more body, but I liked the fact that it didn't feel like I was filling up on bread. Delivery was prompt and the pizza was warm out of the box. I will definitely order from them again.

Today's pizza a day diet pizza came from the Austin Beer Garden Brewing Co. at 1305 W. Oltorf (right next to the train tracks).

I hit the place in mid-afternoon, so it was pretty empty (Happy hour is from 3 pm to 7 pm, though, so it filled quickly :-)).  You order food and beer at the bar and they bring it to your table.  Inside are long wooden tables with benches, for social/communal beer-gardening in the Bavarian tradition.  Outside are round tables under the live oaks for beer gardening in the Austin tradition. :-).

I ordered a sausage pizza (boring, I know :-), but I like to try new places out on the basics).  It was delivered hot and fresh; the crust was somewhat soft but firmed up after I let it cool a little.  It had a nice chew and stood up to the ingredients.  The sausage had a more subtle flavor than I was expecting, but I really liked it and its freshness.  The cheese and sauce were also quite good.


One of their "by the slice" choices had also caught my eye, so I ordered it as well.  This was venison, spinach, pesto, white bean, roasted tomato, roasted garlic, and ricotta.  This one was amazing (not that the sausage was bad).  The crust had just the right amount of crispness and chew, but the combination of toppings really made it.  It had a richness from the venison without being gamy or overwhelming, and the remaining ingredients provided a terrifically contrasting texture in every bite.


Oh, and the beer was darn good, too. :-).

Today I went back to the Cook's Illustrated Cookbook for their Chicago-style pizza recipe (No, they're not from Chicago, but their recipe is actually pretty close to others I've used in the past.). 

They've got a technique where you "laminate" the crust with butter to make it crispier.  It worked well with the sides, but I'm not sure that it quite worked with the bottom, but the crust did turn out pretty firm and full-bodied.  And rich.  Next time I might let it cook a little longer to see what happens.

The recipe for the sauce and the cheese were a bit different than what I've done before: using shredded mozzarella and diced tomatoes instead of mozzarella slices (or a fresh ball) and crushed tomatoes, but it turned out pretty well.  Next time, though, I think I'll go back to crushed with slices.

And the Star Trek pizza cutter is actually big enough to use on deep dish...

I had Brian Yansky and Frances Yansky over to share the results, so I didn't end up taking too many pictures, but here are a couple:

Pizza! And the Star Trek pizza cutter!

Frances poses with a slice.

The cat inspects the table.

 

Today's Pizza a Day Diet pizza is technically not a pizza.  It's a flatbread. NB: All pizzas are flatbreads but not all flatbreads are pizzas (A flatbread has an unleavened crust).

I happened to be up north during rush hour so I decided to find the closest Italian place and see what they had that resembled a pizza. :-). This happened to be the Maggiano's in the Domain.  The place has sort of a Disney-fied feel of a downtown Italian restaurant, which is not surprising since the first Maggiano's was founded in Chicago by the Lettuce Entertain You chain whose specialty is theme restaurants. 

Anyway, I took a table in the bar and ordered a Caesar salad and the sausage flatbread.  The sausage was removed from the casing but still distributed in large chunks and had that good Italian-sausage flavor.  The cheese was also abundant and flavorful.  And the crust? Nice and crispy at first and then steamed through. 

Here are a couple pics:

Day 8 of ‪#‎PizzaADayDiet‬ is another thin crust, this one from Southside Flying Pizza. They call it “Neapolitan style,” which I guess is a really thin crust. I chose the whole wheat crust and it was pretty good – it stood up to the ingredients but I wouldn't have minded if it had been a tad crisper. The cheese was thoroughly melted and excellent, though, as were the toppings. The sausage had a good flavor and the peppers were nicely al dente. And the side salad was really good, as well.

Today's ‪#‎PizzaADayDiet‬ occurred at Home Slice Pizza -- Don Tate joined me for the sausage, mushroom, and green pepper pie! This was the thickest thin crust I've had so far, and was sufficient to be not -floppy, yet not doughy, with a good, chewy texture. The cheese was flavorful and the toppings were each present in every bite.


Altogether, a most excellent pizza -- and they put the leftovers in a tinfoil swan (I've never seen that before in real life :-)).

NASA is underfunding planetary exploration relative to recommendations made by the National Academies Decadal Survey report, resulting in mission delays and cancelations.

A Planetary Society-funded project to understand asteroids achieved its main goals and scientific objectives this year.

 This is me working out my warband for a Dark age campaign. I can't really get going on it until I have finished my Hobbit armies for an up coming show. So In the meantime time this sketch of the warband will have to do. Out of the hat I got the Black shield Irish.

The rules will be One hour wargames, and it's interesting to see the small size of the warband. Then again it is a skirmish game.

I have to say after the mad month of painting for the Partizan show, my painting mojo is well and truly fried. So I thought I would ease back into things with some gentle building and sculpting.

These figures are a One Hour Wargames Rules campaign set in the age of Arthur. I was picked for the Black shield Irish and so bought a couple of plastic boxes.
 

Skirmishers.

I thought a few Celtic blankets and cloaks wouldn't go a miss. The kits come with some cloaks, but I thought I'd have a go at making my own.
The leader and hero figure from Crusader miniatures. The Druid was a purchase from eBay.
These are a mixture of plastic kits from Gripping Beast and Wargames Atlantic. It's always nice to have more heads etc to create variety in the units.

Here is a small warband of Dark age Irishmen.  They are meant to be the Black shield Irish from the Winter King books. I struggled with just painting black shields as I wanted to paint some designs. I got around this by painting some fancy shields, then painting them black then rubbing off the paint.

This represents the warband painting over their war shields with black. After some heavy campaigning and harsh weather, not to mention dips in the sea, some of the black paint has started to wear off.

There's enough Celtic design underneath to show through.
Not many more to do now, just the druid and four skirmishers.
These are a mix of Crusader, Gripping beast plastic and Wargames Atlantic plastics. They have been very enjoyable to paint too.

 The new rock pools are a perfect setting for Raiding Black shields.

 New projects: 

• adp-github — ADP extension to generate github markdown files. — MIT
• adp-plain — Add Documentation, Please... using plain text. An extension of ADP to generate files with barely additional features. — MIT
• allioli — Alliolification — MIT
• alternate-asdf-system-connections — Allows for ASDF system to be connected so that auto-loading may occur. This is a fork of asdf-system-connections and incorporates a load-system-driven mechanism for loading dependencies and also loads the dependencies of the connections. — MIT
• cbor — CBOR encoder/decoder — MIT
• charje.documentation — Documentation is an opinionated yet customizable docstring parsing library. — AGPL V3 or any later version
• chipi — House automation bus in Common Lisp — Apache-2
• cl-aseprite — Aseprite file format parser — GPLv3
• cl-astar — A heavily optimized yet flexible A* pathfinding algorithm implementation — MIT
• cl-ceigen-lite — A Common Lisp wrapper around CEIGEN-LITE - which is itself a C wrapper around the C++ Eigen library. — MIT
• cl-cf — Computations using continued fractions — GPL-3
• cl-concord — CONCORD implementation based on Common Lisp — LGPL
• cl-duckdb — CFFI wrapper around the DuckDB C API — MIT License
• cl-fastcgi — FastCGI wrapper for Common Lisp — BSD License
• cl-flx — Rewrite emacs-flx in Common Lisp — MIT
• cl-frugal-uuid — Common Lisp UUID library with zero dependencies — MIT License
• cl-gog-galaxy — A wrapper for the GOG Galaxy SDK — zlib
• cl-lc — List comprehensions — MIT
• cl-naive-ptrees — Functions to make it easier to work with plist(s) and plist trees. Works with plist(s) pairs as units and not as individual list items. — MIT
• cl-qoa — An implementation of the Quite Okay Audio format. — zlib
• cl-reddit — Reddit client api library — BSD
• cl-resvg — An up-to-date bindings library for the resvg SVG rendering library — zlib
• cl-trivial-clock — Common Lisp library to get accurate wall-clock times on multiple platforms — MIT License
• clack-cors — A Clack middleware to set CORS related HTTP headers. — Unlicense
• clack-prometheus — Clack middleware to serve stats in Prometheus format. — Unlicense
• clith — Common Lisp wITH macro. A general WITH macro. — MIT
• clj-arrows — Implements Clojure-styled threading/transformation macros. — MIT
• clos-encounters — A collection of OOP patterns benefiting from the CLOS MOP. — Unlicense
• coalton — An efficient, statically typed functional programming language that supercharges Common Lisp. — MIT
• cocoas — A toolkit library to help deal with CoreFoundation, Cocoa, and objc — zlib
• com.danielkeogh.graph — A fast an reliable graph library. — MIT
• fast-mpsc-queue — Multi-Producer Single-Consumer queue implementation. — MIT
• file-finder — File finder. Enable rapid file search, inspection and manipulation. — GPL3+
• golden-utils — A utility library. — MIT
• hiccl — HTML generator for Common Lisp — MIT
• hsx — Hypertext S-expression — MIT
• hunchentoot-stuck-connection-monitor — Monitors hunchentoot connections and logs the connections stuck in the same state for a long time (due to slow or inactive clients and network stream timeouts that hunchentoot tries to utilize not working properly). Offers an option to shutdown the stuck connections sockets manually or automatically, thus unblocking the connection threads and preventing thread and socket leak. See https://github.com/edicl/hunchentoot/issues/189 — BSD-2-Clause
• incless — A portable and extensible Common Lisp printer implementation (core) — BSD
• inravina — A portable and extensible Common Lisp pretty printer. — MIT
• invistra — A portable and extensible Common Lisp FORMAT implementation — BSD
• knx-conn — KNXnet/IP implementation in Common Lisp — GNU GPL, version 3
• machine-state — Retrieve machine state information about CPU time, memory usage, etc. — zlib
• myweb — simple web server written in common lisp for educational reasons — LGPLv3
• noisy — Perlin noise for arbitrary numbers of dimensions. — MIT
• nontrivial-gray-streams — A compatibility layer for Gray streams including extensions — MIT
• open-with — Open a file in a suitable external program — zlib
• openai-openapi-client — Openai API client — AGPLv3+
• openrpc — CI for Common Lisp OpenRPC library. — BSD
• parse-number-range — Parses LOOP's convenient "for-as-arithmetic" syntax into 5 simple values: from, to, limit-kind (:inclusive, :exclusive or nil if unbounded), by (step) and direction (+ or -)). Further related utilities are provided. Intended for easy implementation of analogous functionality in other constructs. — Public Domain
• precise-time — Precise time measurements — zlib
• pregexp — Portable regular expressions for Common Lisp — MIT-like
• progressons — Display a progress bar on one line. — MIT
• quaviver — A portable and extensible floating point string library — MIT
• quilc — A CLI front-end for the Quil compiler — Apache License 2.0 (See LICENSE.txt)
• qvm — An implementation of the Quantum Abstract Machine. — Apache License 2.0 (See LICENSE.txt)
• random-sampling — Functions to generate random samples with various distributions — zlib
• rs-dlx — Knuth's Algorithm X with dancing links. — Modified BSD License
• scrapycl — The web scraping framework for writing crawlers in Common Lisp. — Unlicense
• smoothers — Statistical methods to create approximating functions that attempt to capture important patterns in the data, while leaving out noise or other fine-scale structures/rapid phenomena. — MS-PL
• trivial-adjust-simple-array — A tiny utility to change array size ensuring it is simple. — MIT
• trivial-system-loader — A system installation/loading abstraction for Common Lisp — MIT
• trivial-toplevel-commands — Trivial Toplevel Commands allows to define toplevel commands available on most implementations in a portable fashion. — BSD-3 Clause
• trivial-toplevel-prompt — Portability library to customize REPL prompts. — BSD-3 Clause
• utf8-input-stream — A UTF-8 string input stream over a binary stream for Common Lisp — MIT
• whereiseveryone.command-line-args — Automatically create a command-line-argument parser for a given Common Lisp function definition. — AGPL v3 or any later version

Updated projects: 3b-bmfont, 3bgl-shader, 3bmd, 3d-math, 3d-spaces, 40ants-asdf-system, 40ants-slynk, access, acclimation, action-list, adhoc, adopt, adp, agnostic-lizard, alexandria, alexandria-plus, anatevka, anypool, april, arc-compat, architecture.builder-protocol, array-utils, arrow-macros, assoc-utils, async-process, atomics, auto-restart, aws-sdk-lisp, babel, bdef, bike, binary-structures, binding-arrows, birch, blackbird, bordeaux-threads, calm, carrier, caveman, ccldoc, cephes.cl, cepl, cerberus, cffi, cffi-object, cffi-ops, chanl, chunga, ci, ci-utils, ciao, cl-6502, cl-algebraic-data-type, cl-all, cl-ansi-term, cl-async, cl-atelier, cl-autowrap, cl-base32, cl-bmas, cl-bmp, cl-bnf, cl-brewer, cl-buchberger, cl-cmark, cl-collider, cl-colors2, cl-confidence, cl-containers, cl-cookie, cl-csv, cl-custom-hash-table, cl-cxx-jit, cl-data-structures, cl-dbi, cl-digraph, cl-dot, cl-enchant, cl-environments, cl-fast-ecs, cl-fbx, cl-fluent-logger, cl-form-types, cl-forms, cl-freetype2, cl-gamepad, cl-github-v3, cl-gltf, cl-gobject-introspection, cl-graph, cl-grip, cl-gserver, cl-hamcrest, cl-hash-util, cl-html-readme, cl-i18n, cl-info, cl-ini, cl-ipfs-api2, cl-kanren, cl-lib-helper, cl-liballegro, cl-liballegro-nuklear, cl-log, cl-markless, cl-marshal, cl-migratum, cl-mixed, cl-modio, cl-mount-info, cl-mpg123, cl-mssql, cl-mustache, cl-mysql, cl-neovim, cl-netpbm, cl-oju, cl-opengl, cl-opensearch-query-builder, cl-opus, cl-patterns, cl-plus-ssl-osx-fix, cl-ppcre, cl-project, cl-protobufs, cl-pslib, cl-pslib-barcode, cl-rashell, cl-readline, cl-sat.minisat, cl-sdl2-image, cl-sdl2-mixer, cl-sdl2-ttf, cl-sendgrid, cl-sentry-client, cl-skkserv, cl-smtp, cl-ssh-keys, cl-steamworks, cl-str, cl-svg, cl-telegram-bot, cl-threadpool, cl-tiled, cl-torrents, cl-tqdm, cl-transducers, cl-transit, cl-unicode, cl-unification, cl-unix-sockets, cl-utils, cl-vectors, cl-vorbis, cl-wavefront, cl-webdriver-client, cl-webkit, cl-webmachine, cl-who, clack, clack-pretend, clad, classimp, clast, clath, clavier, clazy, clerk, clgplot, climacs, clingon, clip, clj-con, clj-re, clobber, clog, clog-ace, clog-collection, clog-plotly, clog-terminal, clohost, closer-mop, clss, cluffer, clunit2, clx, cmd, codata-recommended-values, codex, coleslaw, collectors, colored, com-on, common-lisp-jupyter, commondoc-markdown, compiler-macro-notes, conduit-packages, consfigurator, contextl, croatoan, ctype, cytoscape-clj, damn-fast-priority-queue, dartscluuid, data-frame, data-lens, datafly, dbus, decompress, defenum, definer, definitions, deflate, defmain, deploy, depot, deptree, dexador, dissect, djula, dns-client, doc, docs-builder, dsm, dufy, easter-gauss, easy-audio, easy-macros, easy-routes, eclector, equals, erjoalgo-webutil, erudite, esrap, event-emitter, external-program, external-symbol-not-found, fare-csv, fare-scripts, fast-http, fast-websocket, file-attributes, file-notify, file-select, filesystem-utils, fiveam, fiveam-matchers, flexi-streams, float-features, flow, fn, fset, functional-trees, fuzzy-dates, gadgets, generic-cl, github-api-cl, glfw, glsl-toolkit, harmony, hashtrie, helambdap, http2, hunchentoot, imago, in-nomine, inferior-shell, introspect-environment, ironclad, jose, js, json-mop, jsonrpc, jzon, khazern, lack, lass, lemmy-api, letv, lichat-protocol, lichat-tcp-client, linear-programming, lisp-binary, lisp-chat, lisp-critic, lisp-pay, lisp-stat, lispcord, lla, local-time, log4cl-extras, logging, lru-cache, magicl, maiden, maidenhead, manifolds, math, mcclim, memory-regions, messagebox, method-combination-utilities, mgl-pax, misc-extensions, mito, mk-defsystem, mmap, mnas-package, mnas-string, moira, multiposter, mutility, mutils, named-closure, ndebug, neural-classifier, new-op, nibbles, nibbles-streams, ningle, nodgui, north, numerical-utilities, nytpu.lisp-utils, omglib, ook, open-location-code, openapi-generator, orizuru-orm, overlord, papyrus, parachute, parse-number, pathname-utils, petalisp, phos, picl, plot, plump, plump-sexp, pngload, policy-cond, polymorphic-functions, postmodern, ppath, prometheus-gc, psychiq, purgatory, py4cl, py4cl2, py4cl2-cffi, qlot, qoi, query-fs, quick-patch, quickhull, quri, random-state, reblocks, reblocks-auth, reblocks-file-server, reblocks-lass, reblocks-navigation-widget, reblocks-parenscript, reblocks-prometheus, reblocks-typeahead, reblocks-ui, reblocks-websocket, rove, s-dot2, sandalphon.lambda-list, sb-fastcgi, sc-extensions, sel, select, serapeum, shasht, shop3, si-kanren, sketch, slime, slite, sly, snooze, spinneret, staple, static-vectors, statistics, stepster, stmx, stripe, swank-crew, swank-protocol, sxql, symath, system-locale, taglib, teddy, ten, testiere, tfeb-lisp-hax, tfm, tiny-routes, tooter, trivia, trivial-arguments, trivial-clipboard, trivial-file-size, trivial-gray-streams, trivial-main-thread, trivial-octet-streams, trivial-package-locks, trivial-package-manager, trivial-sanitize, trivial-shell, type-templates, typo, uax-15, uiop, usocket, vellum, vellum-binary, vellum-csv, vellum-postmodern, verbose, vernacular, vom, websocket-driver, winhttp, with-branching, with-contexts, woo, xhtmlambda, xml-emitter, yason, zippy, zpb-ttf.

Removed projects: abstract-arrays, ahungry-fleece, cl-cheshire-cat, cl-darksky, cl-epoch, cl-naive-store, convolution-kernel, dense-arrays, extensible-compound-types, extensible-optimizing-coerce, fast-generic-functions, flac-metadata, freebsd-ffi, listoflist, luckless, one-more-re-nightmare, postmodern-localtime, stumpwm-dynamic-float, stumpwm-sndioctl, unicly.

To get this update, use:

 (ql:update-dist "quicklisp")

Sorry this update took so long. My goal is to resume monthly releases.

Enjoy!

Last week I finished a new service written in Common Lisp. It now runs in production© every mornings, and it expands the set of services I offer to clients.

It’s the 4th service of this kind that I developed: - they are not big - but have to be done nonetheless, and the quicker the better (they each amount to 1k to 2k lines of Lisp code), - they are not part of a super advanced domain that requires Common Lisp superpowers - I am the one who benefits from CL during development, - I could have written them in Python - and conversely nothing prevented me from writing them in Common Lisp.

So here lies the goal of this post: illustrate that you don’t need to need a super difficult problem to use Common Lisp. This has been asked many times, directly to me or on social media :)

At the same time, I want to encourage you to write a little something about how you use Common Lisp in the real world. Sharing creates emulation. Do it! If you don’t have a blog you can simply write in a new GitHub repository or in a Gist and come share on /r/lisp. We don’t care. Thanks <3

We’ll briefly see what my scripts do, what libraries I use, how I deploy them, what I did along the way.

Needless to say that I dogfooded my CIEL (beta) meta-library and scripting tool for all those projects.

Table of Contents

• Scripts n°4 and 2 - shaping and sending data - when you can write Lisp on the side
  • SFTP
  • Deploying
  • Script n°2 and simple FTP
• Scripts n°3 and 1 - complementary web apps
• Lasting words
• Links

Scripts n°4 and 2 - shaping and sending data - when you can write Lisp on the side

My latest script needs to read data from a DB, format what’s necessary according to specifications, and send the result by SFTP.

In this case I read a DB that I own, created by a software that I develop and host. So I could have developed this script in the software itself, right? I could have, but I would have been tied to the main project’s versioning scheme, quirks, and deployment. I rather had to write this script on the side. And since it can be done on the side, it can be done in Common Lisp.

I have to extract products and their data (price, VAT...), aggregate the numbers for each day, write this to a file, according to a specification.

To read the DB, I used cl-dbi. I didn’t format the SQL with SxQL this time like in my web apps (where I use the Mito light ORM), but I wrote SQL directly. I’m spoiled by the Django ORM (which has its idiosyncrasies and shortcomings), so I double checked the different kinds of JOINs and all went well.

I had to group rows by some properties, so it was a great time to use serapeum:assort. I left you an example here: https://dev.to/vindarel/common-lisps-group-by-is-serapeumassort-32ma

Dates have to be handled in different formats. I used local-time of course, and I still greatly appreciate its lispy formatter syntax:

(defun date-yymmddhhnnss (&optional date stream)
  (local-time:format-timestring stream
                                (or date (local-time:now))
                                :format
                                '((:year 4)
                                  (:month 2)
                                  (:day 2)
                                  (:hour 2)
                                  (:min 2)
                                  (:sec 2)
                                  )))

the 2 in (:month 2) is to ensure the month is written with 2 digits.

Once the file is written, I have to send it to a SFTP server, with the client’s codes.

I wrote a profile class to encapsulate the client’s data as well as some functions to read the credentials from either environment variables, the file system, or a lisp variable. I had a top-level profile object for ease of testing, but I made sure that my functions formatting or sending data required a profile parameter.

(defun send-stock (profile &key date) ...)
(defun write-stock (profile filename) ...)

Still nothing surprising, but it’s tempting to only use global parameters for a one-off script. Except the program grows and you pay the mess later.

SFTP

To send the result through SFTP, I had to make a choice. The SFTP command line doesn’t make it possible to give a password as argument (or via an environment variable, etc). So I use lftp (in Debian repositories) that allows to do that. In the end, we format a command like this:

lftp sftp://user:****@host  -e "CD I/; put local-file.name; bye"

You can format the command string and run it with uiop:run-program: no problem, but I took the opportunity to release another utility:

• https://github.com/vindarel/lftp-wrapper

First, you create a profile object. This one-liner reads the credentials from a lispy file:

(defvar profile (make-profile-from-plist (uiop:read-file-form "CREDS.lisp-expr"))

then you define the commands you’ll want to run:

(defvar command (put :cd "I/" :local-filename "data.csv"))
;; #<PUT cd: "I/", filename: "data.csv" {1007153883}>

and finally you call the run method on a profile and a command. Tada.

Deploying

Build a binary the classic way (it’s all on the Cookbook), send it to your server, run it.

(during a testing phase I have deployed “as a script”, from sources, which is a bit quicker to pull changes and try again on the server)

Set up a CRON job.

No Python virtual env to activate in the CRON environment...

Add command line arguments the easy way or with the library of your choice (I like Clingon).

Script n°2 and simple FTP

My script #2 at the time was similar and simpler. I extract the same products but only take their quantities, and I assemble lines like

EXTRACTION STOCK DU 11/04/2008
....978202019116600010000001387
....978270730656200040000000991

For this service, we have to send the file to a simple FTP server.

We have a pure Lisp library for FTP (and not SFTP) which works very well, cl-ftp.

It’s a typical example of an old library that didn’t receive any update in years and so that looks abandoned, that has seldom documentation but whose usage is easy to infer, and that does its job as requested.

For example we do this to send a file:

(ftp:with-ftp-connection (conn :hostname hostname
                                   :username username
                                   :password password
                                   :passive-ftp-p t)
      (ftp:store-file conn local-filename filename))

I left you notes about cl-ftp and my SFTP wrapper here:

• https://dev.to/vindarel/ftp-and-sftp-clients-for-common-lisp-1c3b

Scripts n°3 and n°1 - specialized web apps

A recent web app that I’m testing with a couple clients extends an existing stock management system.

This one also was done in order to avoid a Python monolith. I still needed additions in the Python main software, but this little app can be independent and grow on its own. The app maintains its state and communicates it with a REST API.

 

It gives a web interface to their clients (so my clients’ clients, but not all of them, only the institutional) so that they can:

• search for products
• add them in shopping carts
• validate the cart, which sends the data to the main software and notifies the owner, who will work on them.

The peculiarities of this app are that:

• there is no user login, we use unique URLs with UUIDs in the form: http://command.client.com/admin-E9DFOO82-R2D2-007/list?id=1
• I need a bit of file persistence but I didn’t want the rigidity of a database so I am using the clache library. Here also, not a great activity, but it works©. I persist lists and hash-tables. Now that the needs grow and the original scope doesn’t cut it any more, I wonder how long I’ll survive without a DB. Only for its short SQL queries VS lisp code to filter data.

I deploy a self-contained binary: code + html templates in the same binary (+ the implementation, the web server, the debugger...), with Systemd.

I wrote more on how to ship a standalone binary with templates and static assets with Djula templates here:

• https://lisp-journey.gitlab.io/blog/lisp-for-the-web-build-standalone-binaries-foreign-libraries-templates-static-assets/

I can connect to the running app with a Swank server to check and set parameters, which is super helpful and harmless.

It is possible to reload the whole app from within itself and I did it with no hiccups for a couple years, but it isn’t necessary the most reliable, easiest to set up and fastest method. You can do it, but nobody forces you to do this because you are running CL in production. You can use the industry’s boring and best practices too. Common Lisp doesn’t inforce a “big ball of mud” approach. Develop locally, use Git, use a CI, deploy a binary...

Every thing that I learned I documented it along the way in the Cookbook ;)

Another app that I’ll mention but about which I also wrote earlier is my first web app. This one is open-source. It still runs :)

 

In this project I had my friend and colleague contribute five lines of Lisp code to add a theme switcher in the backend that would help him do the frontend. He had never written a line of Lisp before. Of course, he did so by looking at my existing code to learn the existing functions at hand, and he could do it because the project was easy to install and run.

(defun get-template(template &optional (theme *theme*))
  "Loads template from the base templates directory or from the given theme templates directory if it exists."
  (if (and (str:non-blank-string-p theme)
           (probe-file (asdf:system-relative-pathname "abstock" (str:concat "src/templates/themes/" theme "/" template))))
      ;; then
      (str:concat "themes/" theme "/" template)
      ;; else :D
      template))

He had to annotate the if branches :] This passed the code review.

Lasting words

The 5th script/app is already on the way, and the next ones are awaiting that I open their .docx specification files. This one was a bit harder but the Lisp side was done sucessfully with the efficient collaboration of another freelance lisper (Kevin to not name him).

All those tasks (read a DB, transform data...) are very mundane.

They are everywhere. They don’t always need supercharged web framework or integrations.

You have plenty of opportunities to make yourself a favor, and use Common Lisp in the wild. Not counting the super-advanced domains where Lisp excels at ;)

---

Links

• https://lispcookbook.github.io/cl-cookbook/
• awesome-cl
• companies using Common Lisp in production (at least the ones we know)
• Common Lisp course in videos – it helps me, and you ;) I added 9 videos about CLOS last month, and more are coming. It’s 86 minutes of an efficient code-first approach, out of 7+ hours of total content in the course. After this chapter you know enough to read the sources of the Hunchentoot web server or of the Kandria game.

I have done some preliminary Common Lisp exploration prior to this course but had a lot of questions regarding practical use and development workflows. This course was amazing for this! I learned a lot of useful techniques for actually writing the code in Emacs, as well as conversational explanations of concepts that had previously confused me in text-heavy resources. Please keep up the good work and continue with this line of topics, it is well worth the price! [Preston, October of 2024]

 .

Once again, one of my e-books will briefly be on sale! Vacuum Flowers will be available in the US for only $1.99. Here's the news from Open Road Media:

Hello,

We are pleased to let you know that the following ebook(s) will be featured in price promotions soon.

ISBN13	Title	Author	Promo Type	Country	Start Date	End Date	Promo Price
9781504036504	Vacuum Flowers	Swanwick, Michael	ORM - Portalist NL	US	2024-11-13	2024-11-13	$1.99

Open Road will promote the feature via social media. We hope you can share the deal with your network as well. You can subscribe to the newsletters at the links below so that you will get the direct link to the deal on the day that it appears.

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And because you've probably wondered . . .

I've been asked this many times, but the answer is no: I don't have a nude drawing of Gardner Dozois hanging in my living room. It's in the upstairs hallway. Anyway, he's wearing a sheet, so much of him is covered.

Robert Walters posed Gardner as the evil genius Jonaman for one of the illos (back when SF magazines had illustrations) that went with the serialization of Vacuum Flowers in Asimov's, way back when.

It's not the sightliest picture. But it is treasured.

*

Holiday of Hearts



View Comic!

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