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Iowa Caucus's Delayed Results Have Churned Up Some Anxious Reaction Memes

Last night the 2020 Iowa Democratic Caucus stirred up quite the controversy when it was announced that the results would be delayed due to "inconsistencies" in a new app meant to speed up the reporting results of the caucus. Ironic, to say the least. 

But hang tight, because they're set to be released at 5 pm Eastern Time.

Ahead of the results being released, Pete Buttigieg gave what appeared to be a victory speech last night to the confusion of many. The bizarre move has lead many to believe that the system may have been rigged in Mayor Pete's favor.

As always, we have to give the disclaimer that we're not picking sides; we're merely reporting on what the internet has been saying, so scroll down to see some of our favorite reaction memes and tweets while we all wait impatiently for the results.




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The Shadow Team Gets Roasted For Being Shady During The Iowa Caucus

Meet the Shadow team in charge of developing an app meant to help tally the votes from the Iowa caucus on Monday night. The purpose of the app was to help the process run more smoothly, but in the end it proved to be a complete and utter disaster, as precinct chairs supposedly couldn't get the app to actually work, in turn causing a delay in reporting.

The delay was blamed on "inconsistencies" in reporting, but honestly, who really knows what the truth is.

The team is reportedly run by people who worked on Hilary Clinton's presidential campaign in 2016. Additionally, 2020 candidate Pete Buttigieg's campaign paid the tech firm over $40,000 in 2019 leading many to suspect foul play.

But this is America, and we can't possibly have problems with corruption, right?

As of right now, we still don't have all the results from the caucus, so while you continue to anxiously refresh the New York Times page, have some hot Twitter takes on the people (rats) behind Shadow, Inc.




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Slouching Toward Resolution

Clusterfuck Nation For your reading pleasure Mondays and Fridays Support this blog by visiting Jim’s Patreon Page The people of this land have enough trouble in mind — what with livelihoods, careers, businesses, marriages, hopes and dreams circling the drain in the new insta-depression — but let’s hope they have just a little attention left over more »

The post Slouching Toward Resolution appeared first on Kunstler.



  • Clusterfuck Nation – Blog

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Fic: Star Wars: hunting toward heartstill by blackkat

Posted by: beatrice_otter

Fandom: Star Wars
Characters/Pairings: Mace Windu/Cody, Anakin Skywalker, Shaak Ti, lots of Jedi and clones
Rating: Mature
Length: 202,217 words

Summary: Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there.

(Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient feelings, and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.)

Why is it the BEST THING EVER: Besides having a really unique idea for a fixit, I love the way the characters are written, and the development of Mace and Cody's relationship is wonderful, and the action is engaging and well-written.

Fanwork Links: hunting toward heartstill

comments




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East Central Intergovernmental Association of Iowa Receives $600,000 Grant for Brownfields Environmental Assessment and Cleanup Planning

Environmental News FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE




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Waterloo, Iowa, Receives $300,000 Grant for Brownfields Environmental Assessment and Property Reuse Planning

Environmental News FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE




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Council Bluffs, Iowa, Receives $300,000 Grant for Brownfields Environmental Assessment and Cleanup Planning

Environmental News FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE




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Des Moines Public Schools and Principal Real Estate Investors LLC in Iowa Honored as ENERGY STAR Partners of the Year for Cost-Saving, Energy-Efficient Solutions

Environmental News  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE




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10 Iowa School Districts Receive $300,000 to Help Purchase Buses to Lower Diesel Emissions

Environmental News  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE




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China Eases Back Toward Normality Three Months after Outbreak

Twelve weeks after the outbreak of the coronavirus epidemic in China, leaders in Beijing are gradually reopening the country. But how can they be sure their decision won't backfire?




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Racy photos and an undisclosed killing: Sheriff’s race is Broward County’s raucous election to watch

Broward County Sheriff Gregory Tony is getting a political baptism by fire in an election that reads like a Hollywood screenplay with racy photos, a secret decades-old killing and a bitter union fight.




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Former truck driver arrested in Iowa for three murders dating back nearly 30 years

A fomer-long haul truck driver behind bars for allegedly killing three women in Tennessee and Wyoming in the 1990s is now being investigated for any ties he may have to other cold murder cases, police said.




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Howard Carter (1874)

An experienced archaeologist and Egyptologist, Carter began searching for the long lost tomb of the ancient Egyptian king Tutankhamun in the early 1900s, excavating Valley of the Kings in Luxor, Egypt, through funding by his financial backer, Lord Carnarvon. In 1922, Carnarvon gave Carter one last season to make a discovery. He did, unearthing the pristine, treasure-filled tomb that became world famous. What fact about Carter's life is often used to refute the so-called Curse of the Pharaohs? Discuss




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Clippers' Patrick Beverley, Lakers' Dwight Howard to compete in All-Star contests

Clippers guard Patrick Beverley has been invited to participate in the Skills Challenge and Lakers center Dwight Howard will compete in the Slam Dunk Contest.




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Lakers' Dwight Howard focused on the present even when owner brings up the past

Lakers co-owner Jeanie Buss speculated about why Dwight Howard's first stint with the team didn't work out, but he is focused on the 2020 version of the team.




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Elliott: Kings and Ducks made lower-tier moves mostly aimed toward future at trade deadline

The Ducks won the distinction of making the most deals in the final hours before Monday's NHL trade deadline while the Kings only made one trade.




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Dodgers' Caleb Ferguson develops third pitch with an eye toward becoming a starter

Dodgers reliever Caleb Ferguson is developing a hard slider to complement his fastball and slow curveball, so that eventually he can move to the rotation.




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MLB teams to pay $1 million each toward ballpark workers during coronavirus hiatus

Major League Baseball teams agree to contribute $1 million each toward a fund that will assist ballpark workers during the suspended season.




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Emmy and Tony-winning Leslie Uggams tapped for virtual reading of Noël Coward’s ‘Blithe Spirit’ to benefit The Actors Fund

‘Hamilton’ star Renee Elise Goldsberry, Drama Desk Award winner Montego Glover, Thom Sesma, Angel Desai, Kendyl Ito, William Jackson Harper, Tony Award winner Brian Stokes Mitchell will join Uggams in the comedy about a wealthy novelist who invites the eccentric clairvoyant to his home to conduct a séance, hoping to gather material for his next book. And Uggams is playing the medium, named Madame Arcati.




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Racy photos and an undisclosed killing: Sheriff’s race is Broward County’s raucous election to watch

Broward County Sheriff Gregory Tony is getting a political baptism by fire in an election that reads like a Hollywood screenplay with racy photos, a secret decades-old killing and a bitter union fight.




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Former truck driver arrested in Iowa for three murders dating back nearly 30 years

A fomer-long haul truck driver behind bars for allegedly killing three women in Tennessee and Wyoming in the 1990s is now being investigated for any ties he may have to other cold murder cases, police said.




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Edward Howard, who brought movies, bathrooms and a sense of dignity to skid row, dies at 63

Edward Howard saw hygiene as a civil rights issue and a matter of treating homeless people with dignity.




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WWE Hall of Fame ring announcer Howard Finkel dies at 69

Ring announcer Howard Finkel, the first employee hired by WWE in 1980, has died at 69. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2004.




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Natalie Portman defends her record after Rose McGowan calls her activism 'fake'

Actress Rose McGowan called out Natalie Portman's Oscars cape that honored female directors, prompting Portman to defend her work made mostly with men.




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George Galloway warns why US is on the cusp of WW3 with China - 'This is how WW1 began!'



GEORGE GALLOWAY has claimed the circumstances that set off the First World War could be repeating themselves in 2020, as he warned of a conflict between the US and China.




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Parowan police seek help finding missing teenager

Solita Miller, 16, left a Parowan group home in the early morning hours of May 4, according to a press release from the Parowan Police Department.

       




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Doyel: Cowards had their say, and now it's Colts QB draft pick Jacob Eason's turn

Anonymous sources ripped Washington QB Jacob Eason, and ESPN gave the cowards their say after the Colts selected Eason in the fourth round Saturday.

       




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Bull Moose Club Welcomes Iowa Firearms Coalition

DES MOINES-Iowa Firearms Coalition President Barry Snell shared their mission of protecting Second Amendment Rights for Iowans at the Bull Moose Club luncheon in Des Moines on Tuesday.  He explained how the IFC was formed and gave an update on their legislative achievements since their formation in 2010. “IFC got […]




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Ian Wright: Social media abuse towards women's football is abhorrent

Former Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright says women's football deserves more support and backing.




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Briggs: Finally, a baby step toward reuniting kids and grandparents

Indianapolis, Fishers and the state on Thursday each announced plans which, combined, should result in greater testing capacity for Central Indiana.

       




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RadioWave v1.2.0 released

RadioWave v1.2.0 has just been released. This is a bugfix and feature-improvement release.

Here's what's been added or changed in RadioWave with the release of v1.2.0:

  • Fixed time parsing for the OnAir template override (K2 Content module) which caused the module's output to break under certain circumstances. The info displayed has also been extended to the name of the show and the start/end times of the show.
  • Added update server reference so you can be notified on future updates of RadioWave.
  • Improved compatibility with PHP up to v7.4. Additionally, any PHP notices that may have appeared in the frontend or backend have now been resolved.
  • References to IE have now been entirely removed (this includes both HTML and CSS code).
  • Massive CSS cleanups & updates. Browser specific syntax (e.g. -moz-*, -webkit-* etc.) has also been removed. Invalid CSS has been fixed (3 rules related to CSS background gradients).
  • Updated all JS libs to their latest compatible versions.
  • The RadioWave Generic Player module (installed separately) has also been updated to v2.1, which now includes an option to autoplay your custom radio streams (among other minor improvements). You can get it for free at: https://github.com/joomlaworks/radiowave-generic-player
  • QuickStart package updated to use the latest Joomla (3.9.14) and K2 (2.10.2) releases.

If you are using Joomla v3.8+ and K2 v2.10.0+ we highly recommend you update to this newest version.

 

DEMO

The RadioWave demo site has been updated to the latest release.

 

DOWNLOAD

If you have an active RadioWave (or Template Bundle) membership, just head over to the Member Dashboard at https://www.joomlaworks.net/members and grab your copy from your "Subscriptions" page.

Or purchase this latest release from just 24.90 EUR. More info at: https://www.joomlaworks.net/joomla-templates/commercial-templates/radiowave

 

UPGRADING

When upgrading, use the relevant update zip file to avoid losing changes in your index.php and custom.css/js files. For more, please visit the related documentation page here: https://www.joomlaworks.net/support/templates/general-resources/installation/item/211-installing-vs-upgrading

For support questions please use our Ticket Support System inside the Member Dashboard at https://www.joomlaworks.net/dashboard (active product membership required).

 




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“Distraction,” Simplicity, and Running Toward Shitstorms

It can scarcely be denied that the supreme goal of all theory is to make the irreducible basic elements as simple and as few as possible without having to surrender the adequate representation of a single datum of experience.

—Albert Einstein, “On the Method of Theoretical Physics” (1934)

Context: Last week, I pinched off one of my typically woolly emails in response to an acquaintance whom I admire. He’s a swell guy who makes things I love, and he'd written, in part, to express concern that my recent Swift impersonation had been directed explicitly at something he'd made. Which, of course, it hadn’t—but which, as I'll try to discuss here, strikes me as irrelevant.

To paraphrase Bogie, I played it for him, so now I suppose I might as well play it for you.


(n.b.: Excerpted, redacted, munged, and heavily expanded from my original email)

There are at least a couple things that mean a lot to me that I'm still just not very good at.

  • Make nuanced points in whatever way they need to be made; even if that ends up seeming “un-nuanced”
  • Never explain yourself.

I want to break both these self-imposed rules privately with you here. [Editor’s Note: Um.] Because, I hope to nuance the shit out of some fairly un-nuanced points. And, to do that, I'll also (reluctantly) need to explain myself. But, here goes.

First [regarding my goofing on “distraction-free writing environments”] I think there are some GIANT distinctions at play here that a lot of folks may not find nearly as obvious as I do:

  1. Tool Mastery vs. Productivity Pr0n – Finding and learning the right tools for your work vs solely dicking around with the options for those tools is just so important, but also so different. And, admittedly, it’s almost impossible to contrast those differences in terms of hard & fast rules that could be true for all people in all situations. But, that doesn’t make the difference any less qualitatively special or real.

    Similarly…
  2. Self-Help Vs. “Self”–“Help” – Solving the problem that caused the problem that caused the problem that caused the symptom we eventually noticed. Huge. Arguably, peerless.

    • Viz.: How many of us ignore the actual cause of our problem in favor of just reading dozens of blog posts about how to “turbocharge” its most superficial symptoms? Sick.
  3. Focus & Play – Yes, focusing on important work is, as Ford used to say, Job 1. But, that focus benefits when we maintain the durable and unapologetic sense of play that affords true creativity and fosters an emergence of context and connection that’s usually killed by stress. BUT.

    • Again, what conceivable “rule” could ever serve to immutably declare that “THIS goofing-off is critical for hippocampal plasticity” vs. “THAT goofing-off is just dumb, distracting bullshit?”
    • Impossible. Because drawing those kinds of distinctions is one of our most important day-to-day responsibilities. Decisions are hard, and there’s no app or alarm gadget that can change that.

      • Although, they certainly can help mask the depth of the underlying problem that made them seem so—what’s the parlance?—“indispensable”.
      • Think: Elmo Band-Aids for that unsightly pancreatic tumor.
  4. Reducing Distraction through Care (Rather than braces, armatures, and puppet strings). Removing interruptions and external distractions that harm your work or life? Great. Counting on your distraction-removal tool to supplement your non-existent motivation to do work that will never get done anyway? Pathetic.

    • Frankly, this is a big reason I'm so galled when anyone touts their tool/product/service as being the poor, misunderstood artist’s new miracle medicine—rather than just admitting they've made a slightly different spoon.
    • Because, let’s be honest: although most of us have plenty of perfectly serviceable spoons, everybody knows collecting cutlery is way more fun than using it to swallow yucky medicine.
  5. Using a System Vs. Becoming a System. Having a system or process for getting work done vs. making the iteration of that system or process a replacement for the work. This is just…wow…big.

    But, maybe most importantly to me…

  6. Embracing the Impossibles. Getting past these or any other intellectual koans by simply accepting life’s innumerable and unresolvable paradoxes, hypocrisies, and impossibilities as God-given gifts of creative constraint. Rather than, say, a mimeographed page of long division problems that must be solved for a whole number, n.

    • I just can’t ever get away from this one. For me, it’s what everything inevitably comes back to.
    • The very definition of our jobs is to solve the right problem at the right level for the right reason—based on a combination of the best info we have for now and a clear-eyed dedication to never pushing an unnecessary rock up an avoidable hill.
    • YET, we keep force-feeding the monster that tells us to fiddle and fart and blame the Big Cruel World whenever we face work that might threaten our fragile personal mythology.

      • “Sigh. I wish I could finally start writing My Novel….Ooooooh, if only I had a slightly nicer pen…and Zeus loved me more….”

All that stuff? That there’s a complex set of ideas to talk about for many complex reasons—not least of which being how many people either despise or (try to) deny the unavoidable impact of ol' number six.

But, here’s the thing: as much as saying so pisses anybody off, I think the topics we're NOT talking about whenever we disappear into Talmudic scholarship about “full-screen mode” or “minimalist desks” or whatever constitutes a “zen habit”—those shunned topics are precisely the things that I believe are most mind-blowingly critical to our real-world happiness as humans.

In fact, I believe that to such a degree that helping provide a voice for those unpopular topics that can be heard over the din is now (what passes for) my career. I really believe these deeper ideas are worth socializing on any number of levels and in many media. Even when it’s inconvenient and slightly disrespectful of someone’s business model.

So, that’s what I try to do. I talk about these things. Seldom by careful design. Often poorly. But, always because they each mean an awful lot to me.

[…]

But, no matter how I end up saying whatever the hell I say, I believe in saying it not simply to be liked or followed or revered as a “nice guy” who pushes out shit-tons of whatever to “help people.”

Because, believe me, friend, a great many of those apparently “nice guys” swarming around the web “helping people” these days are ass-fucking their audience for nickels and calling it a complimentary colonoscopy. And, while I absolutely think that in itself is empirically wrong, I also think it’s just as important to say that it’s wrong. Sometimes, True Things need to be said.

Which in this instance amounts to saying, a) selling people a prettier way to kinda almost but not really write is not, in the canonical sense, “nice”—but, far worse, b) leaving your starry-eyed customers with the nauseatingly misguided impression that their “distraction” originates from anyplace but their own busted-ass brain is really not “helping.” Not on any level. It is, literally, harmful.

“Helping” a junkie become more efficient at keeping his syringe loaded is hardly “nice.”

It’s the opposite of nice. And, it’s the opposite of helpful. These are my True Things.

And, to me, saying your True Things also means not watering down the message you care about in order to render it incapable of even conceivably hurting someone’s feelings—or of even conceivably losing you even one teeny-tiny slice of that precious “market share.”

Well, that’s the price, and I'm fine paying it—best money I've ever spent.

But, it also means trusting your audience by letting each of them decide to add water only as they choose to—by never corrupting the actual concentrate in a way that might make it less useful to the smartest or most eager 5% of people who'd like to try using it undiluted. Because, at that point, you're not only abandoning the coolest people you have the honor of serving—you risk becoming a charlatan.

And, that’s precisely what you become when you start to iteratively inbreed the kind of fucktard audience for whom daily buffets of weak swill and beige assurance are life’s most gratifying reward.

Sure. Those poor bastards may never end up using any of that watery information to do anything more ambitious than turbocharging their most regrettable symptoms. But, who’s the last person in the universe who’s going to grab them by the ears and tell them to get back to work? Exactly—that same “nice guy” whose livelihood now depends on keeping infantalized strangers addicted to his “help.”

Holy shit—no way could I ever live with that. It’s so wrong, it’s not even right. ESC, ESC, ESC!

[…]

Okay. So anyhow, there’s a really long-winded, overly generous, and extremely pompous way of trying to say I don’t know how to do what I do except how I do it. But, I do genuinely feel awful when innocent people feel they have been publicly humiliated or berated simply because I'm some dick who hates people.

Which has to be my favorite irony of all.

When I was a kid, I thought my Mom was “mean” not to let me play in traffic on busy Galbraith Road. Today, I'm not simply grateful that she had the strength and resolve to be so “mean”—I actually can’t imagine how sad it would be to not have people in your life who care enough about your long-term welfare to tell you to stop fucking around in traffic. To where you eventually might start even seeking 12x-daily safety hacks from some of the very same drivers whose recklessness may eventually kill you. Wow.

[…]

Admitting when life is complicated or things aren’t shiny and happy all the time strikes me as a wonderfully sane and adult way to conduct one’s life. That there are so many folks offended by even the existence of this anarchic idea is not a problem I can solve.

No more than I can wish useless email away or pray hard enough that it never rains on anyone’s leaky roof. All out of scope.

And, then, I jizzed on at length about how much I admire the recipient’s work. Which I do.


Good work doesn’t need a cookie

I may admire your work, too. Especially if you care a lot about that work and don’t overly sweat peoples' opinions of it. Most definitely including my own.

For these purposes, it doesn’t really matter whether we're friends and, honestly, it doesn’t even matter whether I love, use, or agree with everything you do, say, or make in a given day.

It doesn’t matter because good work doesn’t need me to love it. Like tornadoes and cold sores, good work happens with total disregard to whether I'm “into it.”

But, conversely, let’s stipulate that the points-of-view undergirding our opinions—again, including mine—will and should survive either agreement or lack of agreement with equivalently effortless ease. Because, like really good work, a really good point-of-view doesn’t require another person’s benediction.

Guess we'll have to disagree to agree

Now, to be only vaguely clearer here, I'm not posting this circuitous ego dump in the service of altering your opinion of either me, my friend, his work, or practically anything else for that matter.

But, I would love it if we could all be more okay with the fact that real life means that we do each have a different, sometimes incongruous, and often totally incompatible point-of-view. Yes. Even you have a point-of-view that someone despises. Ready to change it now? Jesus, I sure hope not.

Then, to be only slightly more clear, I'm also not advocating for that fakey brand of web-based kum ba ya that gets trotted out alternately as “tolerance” or “inclusion” or some styrofoam miniature of “civility.”

I'm absolutely not against all of those things when authentically practiced, but I'm also really skeptical of the well-branded peacemakers who are forever appointing themselves the Internet’s “Now-Now-Let’s-All-Pretend-We're-Just-Saying-the-Same-Useless-Thing-Here” den mothers.

Because we're not all saying the same things. Not at all.

And, it infantalizes some important conversations when we tacitly demand that any instance of honest disagreement be immediately horseshat into a photo opp where some thought leader gets to hoist everyone’s hands in the air like he’s fucking Jimmy Carter.

Nope. Not saying that.

Who will you really rely on?

What I AM saying is that alllllll this seemingly unrelated stuff is absolutely related—that the pattern of not relying on other people for anything you really care about is arguably the great-grandaddy of every useful productivity, creativity, or self-help pattern.

Where’s this matter? Pretty much everywhere you have any sort of stake:

  • Don’t rely on other people to remove your totally fake “distractions.”
  • Don’t rely on other people to pat your beret, re-tie your cravat, and make you a nice cocoa whenever that mean man on the internet points out that your “distractions” are totally fake. (Which they are)
  • Don’t rely on other people to tell you when or whether you have enough information.
  • Don’t rely on other people to define your job.
  • Don’t rely on other people to “design your lifestyle.”
  • Don’t rely on other people to decide when your opinions are acceptable.
  • Don’t rely on other people to tell you when you're allowed to be awesome.
  • Don’t rely on other people to make you care.
  • Don’t even rely on other people to tell you what you should or shouldn’t rely on.

Yes. I went there.

Because that’s the point. These hypocrisies, paradoxes, and ambiguities that people get so wound up about—that many of us are constantly (impotently) trying to resolve—cannot be resolved.

Because, yeah: all of these harrowingly unsolvable problems are immune to new notebooks and less-distracting applications and shinier systems and “nicer” self-“help” and pretty much anything else that is not, specifically, you walking straight into the angriest and least convenient shitstorm you can find and getting your ass kicked until the storm gets bored with kicking it.

Then, you find an even angrier storm. Then, another. And, so on.

“Get the fuck off of my obstacle, Private Pyle!”

Doing that annoying hard stuff is how you grow, get better, and learn what real help looks like. Even if that’s not the answer you wanted to hear. You get better by getting your ass out of your RSS reader and fucking making things until they suck less. Not by buying apps.

You don’t whine about distractions, or derail yourself over needing a nicer pencil sharpener, or aggravate your chronic creative diabetes by starting another desperate waddle to the self-help buffet. No. You work.

And, for what it’s worth, just like you can’t get to the moon by eating cheese, you'll also never leave boot camp with your original scrote intact by telling your drill sergeant to try using more honey than vinegar.

No. That sergeant’s job is to make you miserable. It’s his job to break down your callow conceits about what’s supposed to be easy and fair. It’s his job to emotionally pummel you into giving up and becoming a Marine.

You? You're not there to give the sergeant notes; you're there to sleep two hours a night, then not mind getting beaten for 20 hours until a decent Marine starts to fall out.

Who knows? He may even surprise you by introducing a surprisingly effective “distraction-free learning environment.”

“Tee ell dee ahr, Professor Brainiac.”

Like most humans, I like things I can understand. Like most readers, I love specificity. Like most thinkers, I love clarity. Like most students, I love relevance and practicality. And, like most busy people, believe it or not, I actually do really like it when someone gets straight to the point.

But, here’s the problem. If my 2-year-old daughter asks me about time travel, and I blithely announce, “E=mc2”, I will have said something that is entirely specific, clear, relevant, practical, and/or straight-to-the-point. For somebody.

But, not so much for my daughter. And, to be honest, not even to any useful degree for me.

She'd probably either laugh derisively at me (which she’s great at), or she'd pause and ask, “Whuh dat?” (which she’s even better at).

Thing is, her understanding that jumble of characters less than me—and my understanding it WAY less than Professor Al—has zero impact on the profundity, truth, beauty, or impact of the man’s theory.

Sure. You could quite accurately fault me for being a smartass and a poseur, and you could even berate my toddler for her unaccountably shallow understanding of Modern Physics. But, in any case, you can’t really blame either Albert or his theory.

You're turbocharging nothing

Specifically, Albert can’t begin to tell us what he really knows if we don’t understand math.

So, let’s say this theory you've been hearing about really interests you. And, let’s also pretend, just for the sake of the analogy, that you haven’t completed Calculus III (212) or Quantum Mechanics (403) or even something as elementary as, say, Advanced Astrophysics II (537). I know you have. Obviously. But, let’s pretend. Where do you start?

Well, you could read some tips about learning math. You could find a list of 500 indispensable resources for indispensable math resources. You could buy a new “distraction-free math environment.” Heck, there’s actually nothing to stop you from just declaring yourself a “math expert.” Congratulations, Professor.

Thing is: you still don’t know math.

Which means you still can’t really understand the theory—no more than a pathetic Liberal Arts refugee like me or a dullard Physics ignoramus like my kid can really grok relativity.

Difference is, you will have blown a lot of time hoping that actual expertise follows non-existent effort—while my daughter and I get to remain total novices without charge. Only, we don’t get all mad at the theory as a result; a staggering number of fake math experts do.

I mean, be honest—after all that recreational non-work and make-believe dedication almost trying to kinda learn math sorta—you might actually get frustrated at how brazenly Al defies your fondness for shortcuts by continuing to rely on so many terms and proofs and blah-blah-blah that you still just don’t understand. So annoying.

You may simply decide that Albert Einstein’s a huge dick for never saying things that can be completely understood solely by scanning a headline.

EPIC EINSTEIN FAIL, amirite?

You never really know what you didn’t know until you know it

But, Al just told the truth.

Problem is, Al’s truth not only requires fancy things in order to be truly understood—the more of those fancy things you take away from his truth, the less true it gets. And, by the time it’s been diluted to the point where you're comfortable that you understand it? You'd be understanding the wrong thing. Even I can understand that.

But, not one bit of any of this is Al’s fault. Al doesn’t get to control who uses, abuses, gets, or doesn’t get what he said or why it matters. Especially since he’s been dead for over fifty years.

All I know is, regardless of who has ears to hear it on a given day, it would be to Al’s credit never to mangle something important in order to get it into terms everybody’s ready to handle without actually trying.

And God bless him for never agreeing that your “distractions” to learning math are his problem.

So, yeah, if you only need to hand in a crappy 5-page paper, you could certainly Cliff’s Notes your way through Borges, Eliot, or Joyce in an afternoon, and feel like you haven’t missed a thing. Trouble is, if you did care even a little, it’s impossible to even say how much you're missing since you can’t be bothered to soldier through the source text. The text itself is the entire point.

Even the wonderfully cogent and readable layman’s explanations Einstein himself provided don’t really get to the nut, the application, and the implications of his real theory.

That all takes real math.

That “single datum of experience” matters

Sometimes, complex or difficult things stop being true when you try to make them too simple. Sometimes, you have to actually get laid to understand why people think sex is such a thing. Sometimes, you need to learn some Greek if you really want to understand The Gospel of John. And, yeah, sometimes, you're going to have to just work unbelievably hard at whatever you claim to care about before anyone can begin to help you get any better—or less “distracted”—at it.

The part I really know is what doesn’t work. Reading Penthouse Forum won’t help you CLEP out of Vaginal Intercourse 101. Watching a Rankin-Bass cartoon about the Easter Bunny will teach you very little about the intricacies of transubstantiation. And, if you can’t be troubled to care so much about your work that you reflexively force distractions away, dicking around with yet another writing application will merely aggravate the problem. Ironic, huh?

These quantum mechanics of personal productivity are rife with such frustrating “paradoxes.”

These are True Things.

Achieving expertise and doing creative work is all horribly complicated and difficult and paradoxical and frustrating and recursive and James Joyce-y—and any guide, blog, binary, guru, or “nice guy” that tries to suggest otherwise is probably giving you a complimentary colonoscopy. Do the math.

Want a new syllabus? Sure:

Run straight into your shitstorm, my friends. Reject the impulse to think about work, rather than finishing it. And, open your heart to the remote possibility that any mythology of personal failure that involves messiahs periodically arriving to make everything “easy” for you might not really be helping your work or your mental health or your long-standing addiction to using tools solely to ship new excuses.

Learn your real math, and any slide rule will suffice. Try, make, and do until you quit noticing the tools, and if you still think you need new tools, go try, make, and do more.

If you can pull off this deceptively simple and millennia-old pattern, you'll eventually find that—god by dying god—any partial truth that’s supported your treasured excuses for not working will be replaced by a no-faith-required knowledge that you're really, actually, finally getting better at something you care about.

Which is just sublimely un-distracting.


Dedication

This article is dedicated to my friend, Greg Knauss. No, he’s not the app guy–he’s just a good man who does good work, who accidentally/unintentionally helped me write this rant. He also happens to be a fella who could teach anyone a thing or two about writing with distractions. Thanks, Greg.

“Distraction,” Simplicity, and Running Toward Shitstorms” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on October 05, 2010. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"




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Local Pathways Towards De-escalation of Libya's Conflict

Invitation Only Research Event

28 January 2020 - 3:00pm to 4:30pm

Chatham House | 10 St James's Square | London | SW1Y 4LE

Event participants

Usama Otman Essed, Libya Center for Strategic & Future Studies
Chair: Tim Eaton, Middle East and North Africa Programme, Chatham House

A shaky truce remains broadly in place among rival Libyan forces fighting for control of Tripoli. However, a durable ceasefire to bring an end to the current bout of conflict, which was initiated by Khalifa Haftar’s Libyan Arab Armed Forces’ (LAAF) offensive on the capital in April 2019, has not been reached. In recent weeks attention has focused on talks hosted in Moscow and Berlin, with the former aimed at agreeing a ceasefire and the latter seeking to reach agreement among international actors to bring an end to external military support for Libyan warring actors, and to craft a way forward for future intra-Libyan talks. Yet, there has been little emphasis on Libyan actors – beyond Haftar and prime minister Fayez al-Serraj – in this process.
 
This roundtable will bring together experts and policymakers to discuss means of de-escalating the conflict and seeking a lasting resolution through the development of interconnected intra-Libyan social and security negotiation tracks. Mr Usama Otman Essed of the Libya Center for Strategic and Future Studies (LCSFS) will present his research group’s ideas on these issues and discuss their ongoing efforts to promote dialogue among social and security actors.

Attendance at this event is by invitation only. 

Event attributes

Chatham House Rule

Reni Zhelyazkova

Programme Coordinator, Middle East and North Africa Programme
+44 (0)20 7314 3624




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Transatlantic Strategy Group on the Future of US Global Leadership: Transatlantic Security Policy Towards a Changing Middle East

Invitation Only Research Event

6 February 2015 - 8:45am to 4:30pm

Residence of the British Ambassador to France, Paris

With the Middle East in chaos and the future of many states increasingly uncertain, there is a large amount of attention as to how policy-makers in Europe and the US should respond. In particular, many in Europe are unsure of long-term US policy in light of competing American priorities, budgetary constraints and a public adverse to committing further resources abroad. In this context, it is important that European and American policy-makers understand each other’s positions.

At this all-day event, a group of experts will discuss how US policy towards the Middle East is changing, what this means for Europe and, subsequently, how Europe should respond. 

Attendance at this event is by invitation only.

The workshop is held as part of the Transatlantic Strategy Group on the Future of US Global Leadership run jointly with the German Marshall Fund of the United States. Over the course of a year, this group will discuss how US policy is changing on key issues and the implications for Europe. This project is supported by the Fritz Thyssen Foundation, with support for this event provided by the Delegation of Strategic Affairs of the French Ministry of Defence and the British Embassy in Paris.

Event attributes

External event

Department/project




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Towards Warsaw and Beyond

Invitation Only Research Event

9 June 2016 - 12:15pm to 10 June 2016 - 4:15pm

Chatham House, London

The NATO Summit, to be held this July in Warsaw, will provide an opportunity for NATO to review its progress towards meeting both the new and more traditional challenges it faces. It will also make clear the political will, resources, priorities and direction of the alliance in the coming years. In light of resurgent geopolitical concerns, new and evolving challenges and long-standing structural anxieties, the summit is an important moment to review progress and define a new path forward.

Building on workshops held over the previous six months, the US and the Americas Programme at Chatham House, jointly with the Polish Institute for International Affairs (PISM) and the Center for War Studies at the University of Southern Denmark are convening an expert roundtable to provide insight and analysis towards answering these questions.

Attendance at this event is by invitation only.

 

Event attributes

Chatham House Rule

Courtney Rice

Senior Programme Manager, US and the Americas Programme
(0)20 7389 3298




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Toward a Comprehensive Atlas of the Physical Interactome of Saccharomyces cerevisiae

Sean R. Collins
Mar 1, 2007; 6:439-450
Research




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POSTPONED: Working Towards Cyber Resilience in the GCC: Opportunities and Challenges

Invitation Only Research Event

12 March 2020 - 9:00am to 5:00pm

Muscat, Oman

The GCC states have invested significantly in cybersecurity and have made large strides in protecting governments, businesses and individuals from cyber threats, with the aim of delivering on their ambitious national strategies and future visions. However, several challenges to cybersecurity and cyber resilience in the region persist, putting those ambitious plans at risk.

These challenges include the uneven nature of cybersecurity protections, the incomplete implementation of cybersecurity strategies and regulations, and the issues around international cooperation. Such challenges mean that GCC states need to focus on the more difficult task of cyber resilience, in addition to the simpler initial stages of cybersecurity capacity-building, to ensure they harness the true potential of digital technologies and mitigate associated threats.

Set against this background, this workshop will explore opportunities and challenges to cyber resilience in the GCC focusing on four main pillars:

1. Cyber resilience: in concept and in practice
2. Building an effective cybersecurity capacity
3. The potential of regional and international cooperation to cyber resilience
4. Deterrence and disruption: different approaches

This event will be held in collaboration with the Arab Regional Cybersecurity Centre (ARCC) and OMAN CERT.

PLEASE NOTE THIS EVENT IS POSTPONED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. 

Event attributes

Chatham House Rule

Esther Naylor

Research Assistant, International Security Programme
+44 (0)20 7314 3628




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Towards a Low-Carbon Future: China and the European Union

1 October 2007 , Number 7

Chinese goods seem to flood western markets: computers, light bulbs, sweaters, T-shirts and bras. The instinct is to try to protect home producers. A better plan would be to work with Beijing on producing products for the next industrial revolution – the creation of a low-carbon economy. But that would take real vision and political courage.

Bernice Lee OBE

Research Director; Executive Director, Hoffmann Centre for Sustainable Resource Economy

Nick Mabey

Founding director and Chief Executive, E3G




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Evan Davis In Conversation With Sir Howard Davies, Chairman of RBS




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The Kremlin Spectrum: Western Approaches Towards Russia




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Towards an Outcome-Oriented Food and Agricultural Aid and Development System

Invitation Only Research Event

21 May 2019 - 9:00am to 24 May 2019 - 5:00pm

The Rockefeller Foundation, Bellagio Center, Italy

Chatham House, in partnership with the European Centre for Development Policy Management (ECDPM), convened leading experts and key stakeholders to consider how the system of global institutions that provide aid and finance, global public goods and technical assistance to low-income countries can be better aligned to support the realization of SDG 2 in the context of those countries’ own efforts with a focus on SDGs 2.3 and 2.4.

This meeting aimed to contribute to an outcome-oriented food and agricultural aid development system; create greater understanding of the comparative advantages of key institutions, areas of duplication or inefficiency and gaps; identify topics for further research and analysis; and identify key near-term political moments to focus the community and catalyze steps towards change.

Event attributes

Chatham House Rule

Department/project

Alexandra Squires McCarthy

Programme Coordinator, Global Health Programme
+44 (0)207 314 2789




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Steering Towards Efficiency

The racing team is just as important to a car.s finish as the driver is. With little to separate competitors over hundreds of laps, teams search for any technological edge that will propel them to Victory Lane. Of special use today is computational fluid dynamics, which is used to predict airflow over a car, both alone and in relation to other cars (for example, when drafting). Engineers also rely on more basic subjects, such as calculus and geometry, to improve their cars. In fact, one racing team engineer said of his calculus and physics teachers, the classes they taught to this day were the most important classes I.ve ever taken.(1) Mathematics helps the performance and efficiency of non-NASCAR vehicles, as well. To improve engine performance, data must be collected and processed very rapidly so that control devices can make adjustments to significant quantities such as air/fuel ratios. Innovative sampling techniques make this real-time data collection and processing possible. This makes for lower emissions and improved fuel economy goals worthy of a checkered flag. For More Information: The Physics of NASCAR, Diandra Leslie-Pelecky, 2008.




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Press release: Agreement reached to work towards a legally binding instrument on Liability and Redress with regard to GMOs.




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Biosafety Protocol News Issue 8 - Working towards a common goal: Ten years of international cooperation on implementation of the Cartagena Protocol on Biosafety




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CBD News: Towards a Strategic Partnership with Civil Aviation for Protecting Life on Earth.




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CBD News: Statement by the Executive Secretary Mr. Ahmed Djoghlaf on "Biodiversity challenges and responses: Towards the Nagoya Summit on Biodiversity" at the Sixteenth Environment Congress for Asia and the Pacific, 14 September 2008, Nagoya, Ja




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CBD News: "Sustainable Development: Which way next", Statement by Executive Secretary, Dr. Ahmed Djoghlaf, on the occasion of the Global Indian Diaspora Conference towards a Dynamic Indian Diaspora, Singapore, 9-11 October 2008.




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CBD Press Release: Major Advances toward the Nagoya International Regime on Access and Benefit-Sharing.




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CBD Press Release: One Step Further towards the Adoption of the Aichi Nagoya Protocol on Access and Benefit Sharing.




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CBD News: Statement by Mr Ahmed Djoghlaf, CBD Executive Secretary, on the occasion of the Meeting of the Intergovernmental Technical Working Group on Forest Genetic Resources, towards the Report on the State of the world's forest genetic resources, 4-