I do not want to be alive. This is not a new development; I first voiced this opinion to my mother when I was five years old, and it has persisted through the subsequent four decades despite therapy, a vast array of medications, and multiple forms of invasive treatments that have made my existence even less bearable while having no affect on my depression (or, as I think of it, my identity and most fundamental self). Given the opportunity to press a button and fast-forward to my deathbed, I'd do it without hesitation. But these Nazi motherfuckers will not leave the people I love alone. They are forcing me to stay alive, even though I hate every minute of it, just so I can contribute my meager skills to the war effort against them. You have no idea how furious I am, because all I want is to die, and they won't let me, because if I did I'd be ceding the world to them, and I refuse to do that without exhausting every drop of blood within me. If I can't have a single moment of joy, peace or happiness, then neither can they.

Two things:

1. Narrow your focus to your sphere of influence, just for now, because in this moment of helplessness and defeat, when we are feeling powerless, it behooves us to remember we do have immense power. Kamala Harris was never going to bring a casserole to your neighbor when their spouse was in the hospital, that's you. Donald Trump cannot steal the laughter from your friends' lips when you tell them a joke, that laughter is entirely in your power. You have the power to choose connection, fellowship, mutual aid, joy, hard work, love, passion, devotion, faith. To me, remembering that I have power is cause for hope.

2. When you're out there using your power to connect with your fellow human beings, look for the helpers. Take heart in their existence, their perseverance. Do everything you can to become one of them.

I don't disagree with the advice already provided, but I think you're using the word "boundary" in an odd way. You don't get to set boundaries on other people's behaviour, even when you're married to them. You can set a boundary around your own behaviour, then other people decide how they'll respond.

In this case, you might say: if you continue a friendship with B, our relationship will be at an end. Then, the ball is in R's court - he can decide what to do next.

I'm sorry you've been through so much lately, but I think you are definitely catastrophizing. I'd say the likelihood you'll be a target of political violence is pretty close to zero. I would suggest you stop reading the news/Reddit for a bit if it's causing you to feel this way - go for walks in your new neighborhood, make plans to see your friends in the city, etc.

Fresh off the latest meeting about incorporation, and I want to say: thank you to the moderators and Jessamyn who keep the site going and thank you to the volunteers past and present putting in work to build new possibilities for the site, including making it easier for more people to volunteer and contribute in different ways.

I'm also truly proud of the decision made early on by the volunteers to do things together, even if that meant slowing down. I'm the kind of person who sees a problem and goes into fix-it mode as fast as possible. Practicing on a hugely meaningful project like Metafilter to listen and consider all of our viewpoints and work through to a communal path was hard. It was sometimes frustratingly slow! But by the second half of our timeline, I can see now that we get important things done faster and faster and how strong the foundation we've built is (heh, bad pun) because we've got trust and a collaborative thoughtful process.

I'd also like to recognise the people who took a deep breath before writing a reply in a high-termperature thread, the people who edited down the snark in their comments or thought - I'll change to the thread about kitten videos instead. It is hard to be civil and think about other people when they're text on a screen - and it's harder when so much media encourages profit by provoking yelling.

Metafilter is an internet third space that isn't trying to profit actively from yelling. And sometimes we gotta yell in some threads - but most of the time we talk, and I so so appreciate having a third space where people can talk without an algorithm aimed at our lizard brains.

I am the son of a Holocaust survivor. When my dad was 11, his parents put him and his 13 year-old brother on a boat, alone, from their home in Amsterdam so they could come to America and escape the Nazis.

Hilariously, just one generation later, this website suggests I get back on the boat and return to exactly the same place for exactly the same reason.

This does sound very much like your anxiety latching on to a potential future and you getting stuck in that.

Others can give you advice about dealing with this particular scenario.

But here are some things to remember:

Seeking reassurance from others usually results in your anxiety getting worse, as their advice makes the imaginary danger seem more real.

No amount of rehearsing and imagining and ruminating will make you any safer. In fact, trying to prepare for this scenario means you're staying in the anxiety space for longer.

Don't try to fight your scary thoughts, don't argue with yourself. Just note the thought and briefly describe what you're doing to yourself in a non judgemental way.

"I'm arguing with an imaginary person right now"

"I'm trying to predict the future"

"I'm ruminating right now."

"I'm seeking reassurance"

You have the power to reassure yourself, and THAT kind of reassurance really works.

Change catastrophising thoughts into compassionate realism.

"I don't know what might happen in the future, but I'm going to cope with it when it dies"

"It's possible that this frightening thing might happen, and it might be unpleasant, but I will deal with it if it does and then it will just be another memory."

Find ways to distract yourself from your spiralling thoughts. I like explaining a topic I'm really interested in out loud to myself as a way to drown out stuck thoughts.

Trying to prepare for something that *might* happen just means you're making yourself be in that horrible scary worry space for much longer than it would take for the scary thing to happen. You can't control wether or not this thing you fear will happen, but you can control how much you focus on it.

Distraction is good! Be with people you enjoy, watch a comfort show, dance to music you love, do something to make yourself feel good.

My marriage is only monogamish, so I'm saying this with some bias towards polyamory:

If your spouse want to prioritize this friendship over your stated boundary, then your spouse is prioritizing the friendship over your marriage.

In this case, you really don't have to explain why. In fact, I'd stop explaining why. It's not a comprehension problem. It's that your partner doesn't want to do what you are asking.

Here's the words I would use: I do not want you to continue this friendship. If you do, I am going to have to take steps towards ending our marriage. We should discuss this in counselling.

In other words even in marriages where there's less emphasis on monogamy, the main thing is that you have to respect your partner's limits, or else you aren't partners. I'm sorry your partner is putting you through this.

White people are very invested in treating racism as extreme and exceptional when it is in fact commonplace and pervasive. White people are not credible judges of what non-white people describe as experiences of racism. Racism is the Occam's Razor explanation. These so-called academic framings describe patterns that white people would prefer remain undescribed.

In real life I moved to Japan from the U.S. years ago. Didn't soften the blow of the election one whit.

Wherever you go, there you are.

I work in a women's health clinic that does first-term abortions as one of its services.

We have a comment form on our web site where people who want to volunteer as patient escorts can reach out. Typically, we get about one or two inquiries a week.

Yesterday alone, we got twenty-five.

This doesn't take "Will the destination country even accept you as an immigrant" into consideration.

I'm moving to Cozylandia under my duvet and I'm never coming out.

My situation is not exactly the same as yours but it is a story of how to get along with friends and family who are on the total opposite side of the aisle, so perhaps you can find something to help you in my strategies.

My parents are extremely right wing - in India. It is mortifying and horrifying enough that they are this way but to make things worse my mother is also deep into conspiracy theories on a similar scale and off-the-charts-insane like QAnon in the US. At the same time I am also still engaged in a decade-long effort to build a decent relationship with my parents. So even though this is a self-imposed form of hell, the fact remains I am trying to actively love (as in verb-love) these people whose political opinions horrify me and who ruined their relationship with me in the past by throwing me out of their home as a teenager, abusing me as a child, etc.

Step 0 in accomplishing this task is to actually be clear, honest, and fully committed with yourself that you do want to keep and build these relationships.

For many years I was on the fence about it and I made no effort at all to build a relationship with my parents. That was fine! If you are here, you are not doing anything wrong! And neither will you be doing anything wrong if you do choose to walk away properly from people who trigger you too much. Many years after not working and fence-sitting, I intellectually realized I wanted to fix things but emotionally I remained uncommitted, angry, resentful, and blisteringly mad about how unfair it was that *I* was the one doing this fixing and building. This was also a valid stage to go through, and I suspect you're somewhere around here, feeling angry and hurt and torn within yourself that these are your fucking choices: to learn how to get along with assholes or else to lose all your family and friends. The unfairness REALLY RANKLES. This is extremely valid and extremely real, and there is no way out of this stage but through it. But sadly, no forward movement will happen FOR YOU EMOTIONALLY in this phase, as far as making your peace with your situation goes. (Also no forward movement will happen in fixing the relationship but that is not necessarily a bad thing, if you're in this stage.)

Accomplishing Step 0 - becoming fully and truly committed to building and maintaining these relationships - is a hue, huge task in itself. I would strongly encourage you to work with a psychodynamic therapist or some other modality that pays attention to childhood issues, in order to get to Step 0. You will know you have reached Step 0 when you can "radically accept" that your friends and family voted against your life, your rights, and your wellbeing. That is who they are, this is what you are dealing with, and you no longer have any wish to wrestle with this reality (try to convince them, try to lead by example, try to explain yourself, try to talk to them, try to get them to acknowledge your pain or at least be forced to see it, etc) because you. just. fully. accept their political position is their political position - you accept their total separateness from you and you accept their right to be separate from you - and even though you may be angry, even though you may be hurt, even though you still hate their politics, you want to just get on with building the relationship. If you're there, then you can move on to

Stratagem 1: find things you enjoy about this person, and trying to do things you mutually enjoy with them. Even the smallest movement towards identifying and then amplifying the good (by having small good interactions) will help. Repeated good interactions are what finally defeated my insecurity about "giving my parents an inch" - it felt so threatening to me to have anything nice with these people against whom I was nursing so much anger, and I TREASURED my anger, I didn't want to lose it! Having repeated nice experiences made me feel like, okay, I still haven't lost my right to anger or my anger even though I am having fun with them. Both my anger and my love can coexist. This has been a HUGE relief.

Stratagem 2: stop talking politics with them entirely. These are not your politics buddies. FIND OTHER POLITICS BUDDIES YOU CAN RELIABLY GET SUPPORT FROM for the political side of you. This type of compartmentalization is a healthy practice because nobody can be everything to us. Nobody in our personal life can check all the boxes and be everything we need from the world. People's failings are sometimes located near the very things we consider "basic shit". They are human, and this is okay, and we can find others to fill this basic need for us.

Stratagem 3: This may seem like the opposite of Stratagem 2 but it is not - don't stay silent when your friends and family say horrible political things to you or around you. You don't bring up politics but you don't stay quiet when unacceptable things are spoken in your vicinity. You MUST say something, you MUST speak your mind. Make it short but make it honest. Otherwise you build up an incredible amount of resentment and anger that will poison the relationship and run counter to your Step 0 goals.

Stratagem 4: After you say it, move on without belaboring your point or trying to get them to agree with you. Say it, and then completely let it go. Saying it is the point. The goal is NOT to change them, move them, make them think like you, make them acknowledge you, make them apologize, etc. The goal is unburdening yourself by speaking your truth, protecting the relationship by not allowing thoughts to fester in secret. If what they have said is horrible, say, "Wow, that's pretty horrible," and then move on immediately - warmly, affectionately, taking the sting out of it with your manner, without holding a grudge. You get your satisfaction by speaking up, not by making them bend. This strikes a great balance between being authentic and yet sidestepping useless conflict.

Stratagem 5: If they want to argue with you, you have to learn how to bow out smoothly without engaging in that. Say things like, "Oh, dad, that's fine, we can let it go. Tell me about Auntie's health..." Again it is important to remain non-retaliatory, don't punish them for wanting to hash this out by being angry. Be calm and warm and affectionate, but do not be moved into engaging in the political discussion. Walk out and take a short break if you need to. But come back on your own as soon as possible, and be loving. These are your people. You have boundaries with them, not walls.

I'm usually allergic to a lot of the way "find the bright side" kind of things are framed, but this extended quotation from Great Tide Rising by Kathleen Dean Moore came across my Mastodon feed and really resonated with me.

Over the years, college students have often come to my office distraught, unable to think of what they might be able to do to stop the terrible losses caused by an industrial growth economy run amok. So much dying, so much destruction. I tell them about Mount Saint Helens, the volcano that blasted a hole in the Earth in 1980, only a decade before they were born.

Those scientists were so wrong back in 1980, I tell my students. When they first climbed from the helicopters, holding handkerchiefs over their faces to filter ash from the Mount Saint Helens eruption, they did not think they would live long enough to see life restored to the blast zone. Every tree was stripped gray, every ridgeline buried in cinders, every stream clogged with toppled trees and ash. If anything would grow here again, they thought, its spore and seed would have to drift in from the edges of the devastation, long dry miles across a plain of cinders and ash. The scientists could imagine that– spiders on silk parachutes drifting over rubble and plain, a single samara spinning into the shade of a pumice stone. It was harder to imagine the time required for flourishing to return to the mountains – all the dusty centuries.

But here they are today: On the mountain, only thirty-five years later, these same scientists are on their knees, running their hands over beds of moss below lupine in lavish purple bloom. Tracks of mice and fox wander along a stream, and here, beside a ten-foot silver fir, a coyote's twisted scat grows mushrooms. What the scientists know now, but didn't understand then, is that when the mountain blasted ash and rock across the landscape, the devastation passed over some small places hidden in the lee of rocks and trees. Here, a bed of moss and deer fern under a rotting log. There under a boulder, a patch of pearly everlasting and the tunnel to a vole's musty nest. Between stones in a buried stream, a slick of algae and clustered dragonfly larvae. Refugia, they call them: places of safety where life endures. From the refugia, mice and toads emerged blinking onto the blasted plain. Grasses spread, strawberries sent out runners. From a thousand, ten thousand, maybe countless small places of enduring life, forests and meadows returned to the mountain.

I have seen this happen. I have wandered the edge of Mount Saint Helens vernal pools with ecologists brought to unscientific tears by the song of meadowlarks in this place.

My students have been taught, as they deserve to be, that the fossil-fueled industrial growth culture has brought the world to the edge of catastrophe. They don't have to "believe in" climate change to accept this claim. They understand the decimation of plant and animal species, the poisons, the growing deserts and spreading famine, the rising oceans and melting ice. If it's true that we can't destroy our habitats without destroying our lives, as Rachel Carson said, and if it's true that we are in the process of laying waste to the planet, then our ways of living will come to an end – some way or another, sooner or later, gradually or catastrophically – and some new way of life will begin. What are we supposed to do? What is there to hope for at the end of this time? Why brother trying to patch up the world while so many others seem intent on wrecking it?

These are terrifying questions for an old professor; thank god for the volcano's lesson. I tell them about the rotted stump that sheltered spider eggs, about a cupped cliff that saved a fern, about all the other refugia that brought life back so quickly to the mountain. If destructive forces are building under our lives, then our work in this time and place, I tell them, is to create refugia of the imagination. Refugia, places where ideas are sheltered and encouraged to grow.

Even now, we can create small pockets of flourishing, and we can make ourselves into overhanging rock ledges to protect life so that the full measure of possibility can spread and reseed the world. Doesn't matter what it is, I tell my students; if it's generous to life, imagine it into existence. Create a bicycle cooperative, a seed-sharing community, a wildlife sanctuary on the hill below the church. Raise butterflies with children. Sing duets to the dying. Tear out the irrigation system and plant native grass. Imagine water pumps. Imagine a community garden in the Kmart parking lot. Study ancient corn. Teach someone to sew. Learn to cook with the full power of the sun at noon.

We don't have to start from scratch. We can restore pockets of flourishing life ways that have been damaged over time. Breach a dam. Plant a riverbank. Vote for schools. Introduce the neighbors to one another's children. Celebrate the solstice. Slow a river course with a fallen log. Tell stories of how indigenous people live on the land. Clear the grocery carts out of the stream.

Maybe most effective of all, we can protect refugia that already exist. They are all around us. Protect the marshy ditch behind the mall. Work to ban poisons from the edges of the road. Save the hedges in your neighborhood. Boycott what you don't believe in. Refuse to participate in what is wrong. There is hope in this: An attention that notices and celebrates thriving where it occurs; a conscience that refuses to destroy it.

From these sheltered pockets of moral imagining, and from the protected pockets of flourishing, new ways of living will spread across the land, across the salt plains and beetle killed forests. Here is how life will start anew. Not from the edges over centuries of invasion; rather from small pockets of good work, shaped by an understanding that all life is interdependent, and driven by the one gift humans have that belongs to no other: practical imagination – the ability to imagine that things can be different from what they are now.

I actually got paid to do this.

For three years (from 1996 to 1999) I worked as a Public Information and Consultation Advisor for the Federal Treaty Negotiation Office in British Columbia. It was essentially my job to talk to angry and racist non-native people about the land claims settlements we, the federal government, were negotiating with First Nations.

One thing that helped me do this job was a story I heard Utah Phillips tell at the 1997 Vancouver Folk Music Festival. Seems one day he was told of an old cowboy in New Mexico who was dying. This old cowboy had ridden on some of the last cattle drives on the Great Plains in the 1800s and had scores of songs in his head about that time. Utah made an effort to go visit him on his death bed way out in the desert. When he got to the cowboy's cabin, a nurse answered the door, said he was expected and asked him to wait in the sitting room while she got the cowboy ready for the visitor.

The cowboy was an avid reader and had many hundreds of books. As he was waiting Utah scanned the shelves and saw what was what. He was surprised and shocked to see tract after tract from the John Birch Society, a virulent right wing political movement that clashed deeply with Utah's own hard left politics. Utah reflected on the predicament he was in. Here was this cowboy full of all of these songs, and there was this irresolvable political gap between them.

But thinking on it more, Utah realized that the REASON the cowboy had so many political books is that he didn't actually KNOW much about politics. In fact if he were to ask the old man about politics, he knew the old man would only give him lies, stuff that he didn't believe but that was recited out of the books. Utah Phillips noted that there was not one book on cowboys or cowboy music on the book shelves, and that's what Utah was there for. He entered the bedroom of the dying cowboy and passed a lovely day trading songs and stories of the cattle drives of the 19th century.

In conclusion Utah said "You know, if you talk to people about what they know, they will always tell you the truth."

That line stayed with me as I ventured in cowboy country shortly afterwards. I was meeting with a group of loggers and ranchers in Williams Lake, in the interior of British Columbia and they were a hard crew. Every month we met and every month they told me that they didn't want any land claims settlements with the "goddamn Indians" in their area. One guy, a man I'll call Bob used to go on and on about "you can't make deals with Indians, they can't be trusted, they're no good with their word..." That sort of thing.

Now I am Aboriginal myself, and this rankled after a while. But keeping Utah's words in mind I challenged Bob one day and said, "Bob, you know, I'm Indian and I'm trustworthy and you can make deals with me. I know for a fact that what you're saying is bullshit. It's lies. So I'm not going to ask you about Indians anymore. Instead I'm going to talk to you about something you do know about, and that is logging. Why don't you take me out to see your operation?"

Bob agreed and the next day I met him at 5:00am with a thermos of coffee and a box of Tim Hortons and we climbed into his F350 and headed out into the Cariboo Mountains. We drove for two hours and the whole time we talked about logging and what it's like being in the business, what kind of markest he was trying to develop, and how much he loved his new machinery He talked about his new feller-buncher like he was a dad with a newborn. Gone was the intransigent racist and here beside me was an interesting man, telling me the truth about what he loved.

When we got out to the cut block where his crew was working, he radioed them in and they came down to get coffee and donuts. Of the 12 guys he had working for him, six were First Nations. I laughed when I met them and asked them if they knew Bob's opinions on the trustworthiness of Indians. "Oh yeah," One of them laughed. "He's an old blowhard!"

But Bob countered by saying that THESE guys were great, that they had been with him for coming on 20 years. THEY were different.

We laughed. Really hard. We talked for a while about what THESE guys felt about land claims and they all had different opinions. Respect arose in the space of nuance and reflection.

So many people parrot opinions. In fact opinions are so often just a front for something else, the yawning abyss of ignorance. Very few people hold fixed opinions about things that matter deeply to them. Instead the hold nuanced and thoughtful interests. That's not to say that I wouldn't claw your eyes out if you hurt my child, but that's different from having an opinion on Tiger Woods or abortion or whether or not Obama is doing a good job. Most of us aren't Tiger, a pregnant woman facing a choice or the President. Most opinions are shallow, and the holder of them guards their superficiality with outrage and emotion to prevent you from getting close and discovering nuance. People hold opinons out of fear or loyalty. But when it comes to something you really care about, it's less about an opinion and more about the nuanced, many layered, complex fabric of knowledge, practical, theoretical, aspirational and emotional

From that day on, I never again talked to Bob about First Nations people, but he became a very involved person in our advisory committee because he had a piece of his heart staked in the process. I came to respect him very much, even though he continued to blow hard against my rookie colleagues and say stupid racist things that somewhere he must have believed. He did it just to put them off guard, to protect his own vulnerabilities and mask his fear. I came to respect what lay beneath the opinion, which was a real fear that land claims would ruin his logging operation. I dismissed the racism but respected Bob and what was really at stake for him. And I think he came to respect me too.

It was the best job I ever had.

Updated at 7 p.m. ET In a move that possibly placed his job in peril, Defense Secretary Mark Esper publicly disagreed Wednesday with President Trump's threatened use of the 1807 Insurrection Act to quell widespread unrest over the death of George Floyd, a black man who died after a white Minneapolis police officer kneeled on his neck. "The option to use active-duty forces in a law enforcement role should only be used as a matter of last resort, and only in the most urgent and dire of situations. We are not in one of those situations now," Esper told reporters at a Pentagon briefing. "I do not support invoking the Insurrection Act." Esper added, "I've always believed and continue to believe that the National Guard is best suited for performing domestic support to civil authorities in these situations, in support of local law enforcement." The 1807 Insurrection Act authorizes a U.S. president to deploy the military in times of domestic emergencies. The law was updated in 2006 to include

The last 35 seconds of Ahmaud Arbery’s life have been viewed, studied, dissected and discussed all over the world. That’s because of a video that went viral, showing his final moments before he was shot on a shady street in Satilla Shores, Georgia on February 23. And while his death has made international headlines, the people of his community remember Arbery for how he lived.

In the weeks since protests against police brutality began in Minneapolis, calls to reform, defund or abolish the police have been escalating. Demands for reform or cuts to police budgets aren’t new among activists, but a pledge by the Minneapolis City Council to “ dismantle ” the police department is unprecedented. The mayors of Los Angeles and New York City have also announced that they would both divert city funds from police departments to social service budgets. Practically speaking, what would it mean to “defund” the police? On Second Thought sat down with Cedric Alexander, former police chief of DeKalb County, and Michael Leo Owens , associate professor of political science at Emory University, to dissect the history and meaning behind the language of the protest movement.

In 2002, On Second Thought host Virginia Prescott recorded stories of residents from the Houston neighborhood where George Floyd grew up. Virginia reflected on the rich cultural legacy of the historically African American community. George Floyd was laid to rest in Pearland, Texas earlier this week. He was buried next to his mother, known as “Miss Cissy” in Houston’s Third Ward, where Floyd grew up. Beyoncé and Solange Knowles were also raised in the neighborhood. So was the actor Phylicia Rashad, the director and choreographer Debbie Allen, and musicians Samuel John “Lightnin’” Hopkins and Jason Moran.

The 100 Best Film Noirs of All Time ...just what it says on the tin.

Before the onslaught of end of the year Best-Of lists, here is a solid top 100 for your palaver pleasure.

Big bonus points to Paste Magazine for publishing it on a single web page, rather than over a 25 page ad-filled link schmozzle.

What businesses do you avoid because they have values you disagree with? Please give your rationale in your answer. This question is inspired by reaction to Trump. But please give answers from anywhere in the world, for various values.

A Distant Shore has just been released in an expanded version by Cherry Red Records, along with demos for songs that would eventually be released on Everything but the Girl's debut album. Tracey Thorn's classic 1982 indie album has long been a favorite of artists from Björk to Massive Attack, and is constantly rediscovered. In 2013 Thorn spoke about the album to the Guardian [archive link] and also wrote about the circumstances of its writing in her memoir Bedsit Disco Queen, excerpted here.

October was the 150th anniversary of Charles Ives's birth (in 1874). It's always a good time to reconsider him.

Although famously an insurance executive, Ives had studied music at Yale and continued to work as an organist and to compose music even as he developed life-insurance packages for wealthy customers. He suffered from many ailments, real or mysterious, and after 1926, he stopped composing, saying "nothing sounds right". He continued to revise old compositions, however, retiring from business in 1930 and dying of a stroke in 1954 at the age of 80. Early on, his compositions did not attract much interest, but later, by the 1940s and 50s, composers and conductors began to champion him, and he was sometimes considered a pioneer of modernist American music; in the 70s, his music was inescapable on concert programs. However, his tinkering with old compositions led to questions of whether he made his old works appear more innovative than they actually had been. Today he may be best known for his symphony #3 "The Camp Meeting"(1908-10) (with different folk tunes battling it out in the second movement) , his transcendentalist orchestral piece "The Unanswered Question"(1908; revised 1934, in a splendid performance by Leonard Bernstein and the NY Philharmonic) and the "Concord" sonata (1909–47) [The third movement called "The Alcotts" played by Pierre-Laurent Aimard). His songs are loved for their mixture of avant garde and Americana. They are usually heard sung by trained operatic singers (as in this wonderful clip of Donald Gramm introduced by Aaron Copland), but it is revealing to hear this recording of Ives singing one of his own compositions, the World War I song "They Are There!" (1917; revised for WWII). He's not a good singer, but his untrained voice combined with the raucous jumble of the song sounds original and utterly American.

Hidden changes are warping the already broken ecosystem that determines how many citizens—particularly in America—construct their sense of reality. (slSubstack)

Y'all, I know there are folks who don't like Substack/NYT links but here we are and I thought this was worth posting in the aftermath of a disastrous election.

It's dark, it's late, you're drunk, and you're ready to admit to MetaFilter that you're really a famous cult filmmaker. But if you're not sure, follow this handy flowchart by Adam Fromm: Which Contemporary Film Snob Director Are You? It's funny, it's clever, it's easy to navigate, it's a giant JPG image.

Here's a discussion on the Criterion Collection subreddit about an earlier version of this flowchart.

P. S. I am Agnès Varda.

But making a breakfast cereal was not the original intention of Charles William Post, the founder of the Postum Cereal Company (better known these days as Post). After a stint at the Kellogg sanitarium in Battle Creek, Post started his own local company to sell health drinks, namely the caffeine-free coffee substitute called Postum. Grape-Nuts were actually intended to become a beverage, as well. But Post decided that Grape-Nuts would instead be marketed as the most super of all superfoods. from The Unlikely Popularity of Grape-Nuts Ice Cream [Atlas Obscura]

More on bisque ice cream

In a place where an act as simple as reading the Quran can be an act of defiance, the Taliban has banned women from hearing other women's voices in its latest attempt to impose their version of Islamic law on Afghanistan, including mandating that women refrain from performing Takbir—an Islamic expression of faith—and from reciting the Quran aloud, even in the presence of other women.

The UN and Amnesty have stated that the oppression of Afghan women, made prisoners in their homes, unable to speak, has erased women from all spheres of life. Girls born in the 20 years free of Taliban rule went to school and learned of their mothers' experience of repression, only to lose the ability to attend school with the Taliban's return in 2021. Women lost their ability to work, learn, travel alone, or receive healthcare and became "faceless, voiceless shadows" in a brutal apartheid against women.

What makes the Taliban's ideology so uniquely repressive of women?

"What sets the Taliban apart from other Islamic groups," Moheq added, "are the tribal codes of Afghanistan also embedded in the Taliban's ideology." A fundamental part of the tribal codes is defining a narrow place for women: They exists as the property of men and for the honor of men. For example, Moheq explained, "the rape of a woman is not seen as wrong because she was raped, but because she represents the honor of a man," and that is what was violated.

The Taliban's ideology was strong enough to draw manpower from the country's tribal areas for long enough to outlast the United States and the Western-backed government in Kabul. In return, as the primary manpower of the Taliban comes from tribal areas of the country, they further reinforce the Taliban's conservative culture, including the continued exclusion of women.

Among more than 7,500 Afghans living in the country with access to mobile and internet services, the survey found, 66% said they agreed or strongly agreed that human rights for women were a top priority for the future of Afghanistan. Nearly half, or 45% of those, strongly supported the Taliban's control of the country.

Strike-friendly games from the NYT tech guild "New York Times tech workers are still on strike after walking out one day before the presidential election. That means they're still asking people to skip their usual Crossword, Wordle, or Connections routines. But now, the union has released its own offerings for games lovers that could keep them from crossing the digital picket line." - Fast Company

In addition to games like Strikle and Strikeman, they're also sharing recipes like We've Got Beef With Management Stuffed Mushrooms and Solidarity Soup.

Did a mega drought topple empires 4,200 years ago? is an article by Michael Marshall in Nature [archive link] about the debate around the 4.2-Kiloyear Event, which was possibly a major shift in global climate patterns that started around 2200 BCE. The effects were especially stark in the Fertile Crescent, where social complexity decreased markedly, empires fell, and cities were abandoned, as recounted in the video essay The First Bronze Age Collapse and the Intermediate Bronze Age. If you want more granular detail, best known archaeological site for this period has a good website with lots of information, The Tell Leilan Project.

I am devastated by the results of this election. I live in a red state, which I love, and I am surrounded by people I love who voted for Trump. I have given up trying to understand it. These people are my community. I truly believe they are good, kind, thoughtful people, and they voted for someone who is promising to do a lot of harm to other good, kind people. Any advice for coping? I can't cut them off, they are friends and family. Help.

I'm a 40F who upon hearing the election results this week, felt a surge a gratitude about being a spinster. I figure there has to be articles, books, or some type of literature made by fellow spinsters throughout history about their experiences.

I'm a 40F who upon hearing the election results this week, felt a surge a gratitude about having no kids or a male partner. I of course have been on this path for years, mostly due to my total disinterest in dating and or sex. (I didn't realize I was a OG member of the 4B Movement.)
The choice to forego the things that many women consider their purpose in life does make you feel like the weird one.
I figure there has to be articles, books, or some type of literature made by fellow spinsters throughout history about their experiences. It find it a 95 percent positive experience, but I'd also be curious if these ladies have also written about the drawbacks (money troubles, not being anyone's person) as well.
I'd be curious how the stigma played out then as it does now, I figure it was worse then due to not being able to get good jobs, but I know in some places, these women served as elderly caretakers. I look forward to learning more.

Looking for stuff that will make me laugh mostly. Snarky and kind reqs appreciated.

Especially interested in general or historical fiction, but I'll take whatever.

The only criteria are that it's witty and has a generally kind tone. I definitely don't want to feel worse about the world after reading.

If you can include a brief description of why you liked it, that would be useful. Thanks in advance!

"They think your existence is a scourge? Then the best way to spite them is to keep existing." Geraldine DeRuiter (previously) has written the one thing that makes me feel better about what happened. Maybe it'll help you too.

That's it. Given this terrible, horrible, no good week, I'd like to hang onto some signs of hope. They don't have to be political, anything will do.

If you're visiting MetaFilter for the first time in a while because whoa, US election, just a friendly reminder that MetaFilter depends on member support in order to keep running. Additionally, MetaFilter is moving to a community-run model, so you might want to check out the latest update about that.

But because this is a weblog, a few additional links about communities below the fold.

Online communities come with real-world consequences for individuals and societies (Communications Psychology; the bibliography is fun)

How to find your community (Vox)

How to find healthy online communities (Mental Health America)

(Nostalgia trip) Online communities (Pew Research, 2001)

And more nostalgia - the classic 1995 Ghosts in the Machine

Forget about Hendrix, Beck, Clapton, Page and Van Halen; we want to highlight the guitarists who have made an impact outside of the usual rock'n'roll axis of axes. It's a list full of invention, customs passed down through generations and a focus on rhythm as much as volume. These are the musicians who defined soukous, bossa nova and Touareg desert blues, who soundtracked revolutions and revelations, and made their traditions that little more recognisable to a global audience. These are our guitar heroes... from 50 Global Guitar Greats [Songlines]

Not in a happy place. Can already feel my mind about to launch into a worse place. Please give mental health advice suggestions for books to read, your tips for surviving (or, dare I ask, thriving) in 21st century right wing regime, pointers towards activities I can incorporate into my daily practice that bend the long arc of history toward justice.

In November, the typically straitlaced Office of Government Ethics surprised observers with a series of tweets mimicking Donald Trump's bombastic style, exclamation points and all: "Brilliant! Divestiture is good for you, good for America!" The controversy was two-fold: (1) The OGE doesn't typically air its positions publicly, advising White House transition teams behind the scenes. (2) Trump hadn't promised the total divestitures of business interests implied by the tweets. New records shared with NPR on Friday show that behind the curious tweets was the head of the OGE himself, Director Walter Shaub Jr. In two emails, dated Nov. 30, just several minutes apart, Shaub sent to OGE Chief of Staff Shelley Finlayson the nine tweets that took the Internet by storm that day. He then followed up with a link to a legal document referenced in one of the tweets and writes: "Get all of these tweets posted as soon as humanly possible." The emails were part of a 365-page document shared with NPR in

Washington has a big problem to solve: Can it stop cyber mischief, trolls and disinformation from becoming as much a part of American elections as yard signs, straw hats and robocalls? National security officials warn that unless the United States takes strong steps to prevent or deter meddling, foreign nations — especially Russia — won't quit. "They're going to continue to do it," former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper told a Senate subcommittee on Monday. "And why not? It proved successful." Moscow has sown chaos across the West, Clapper and others say, by injecting doubt into elections in the U.S. and Europe. The problem: The breadth and diversity of what makes up "interference" is also what makes it so difficult to combat — from hackers stealing and exposing embarrassing secrets to paid social media "trolls" to the creation of sensational or misleading stories camouflaged as news. "Anyone — not just Russians, anyone — can throw an idea against the Internet wall and

We have noticed a repeating trend in the music requests we receive from our partners in the advertising world and therefor we would like to enrich our catalog with more songs about human kindness.

The genre is not really important as long as the song has a hopeful, optimistic feel. Possible lyrical directions could be: diversity, inclusion, walking the same ground, love (not romantic), people's kindness, help, togetherness etc.

Below are two great examples of the type of songs we are seeking:

- Birdy - People Help the People
- Brandi Carlile - The Joke

Please submit only professionally recorded and mastered songs. The best submissions will be included in our catalog for licensing which is available to our network of contacts in the film, TV and advertising industry.

As an added bonus, if your song is Selected, we will offer to release your music on Filter Label. The songs by our talented artists can be heard in Legacies, The OA, Exatlon, The Matrix Revisited, CSI: Las Vegas, Nikita, in commercials for Samsung, McDonald's, Nike, Philip Morris, Nestle Wagner, Bank Millennium, in shows on MTV, CNN, Nat Geo, NBC, Al Jazeera, Esquire, Channel 4 and almost every major TV network in the world.

- Emil Hadji Panzov - Founder / CEO - Filter Label

Public health experts generally agree that, in spite of improvements, the U.S. still falls short on the testing needed to combat the COVID-19 pandemic. The official who oversees the country's testing efforts, however, maintains the U.S. is doing well on testing now and will soon be able to expand testing greatly using newer, point-of-care tests that deliver quick results. In an interview with NPR's Morning Edition , Adm. Brett Giroir pointed out the U.S. is currently conducting more than 700,000 tests a day. He argued that some parts of the country are already conducting enough tests to contain outbreaks. "We know that in areas of the country right now that have appropriate mitigation, that the testing we have is sufficient. We know right now that the testing we have is dense enough that we can detect very sensitively where there's going to be a problem," the assistant secretary for health in the Department of Health and Human Services told NPR. A recent analysis for NPR by Harvard

Over the summer, the Huron River Watershed Council conducted an extensive survey of freshwater mussels in the Huron River to determine potential impacts when the Peninsular Paper Dam is removed. It found that removing the Pen Dam could release sediment, potentially smothering downstream mussel populations. Once the dam is removed, though, the river will return to a more natural state, benefiting mussel species over time. WEMU's David Fair looked at the research and its implications with Huron River Watershed Council Ecologist Dr. Paul Steen.

We may think about food all the time, but when is the last time you thought about what your food sounded like?

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit STEVE INSKEEP, HOST: Seventy five years ago this summer, the United States brought an end to the Second World War. An American battleship anchored in Tokyo Bay in 1945 - Japanese officials and top hats came aboard and formally surrendered to General Douglas MacArthur, who gave a speech. (SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING) DOUGLAS MACARTHUR: It is my earnest hope and, indeed, the hope of all mankind, that from this solemn occasion a better world shall emerge out of the blood and carnage of the past. INSKEEP: Having invaded China and attacked the U.S., Japan ended the war in ruins. That's the overall story. But what was the experience for people in the wreckage of Japanese cities? Japanese civilians lived and died in U.S. fire bombings, atomic bombings and a years-long U.S. occupation as they rebuilt their devastated country. The writer Asako Serizawa says her parents and grandparents were among those civilians. She imagines the stories of such people

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit MICHEL MARTIN, HOST: The United States set a new record yesterday for the most new coronavirus cases reported in a single day - more than 68,000. The previous high mark was set just the day before. The pandemic is stressing medical resources in several states like California, Arizona, Texas and Florida that have seen dramatic surges in recent days. The country's top infectious disease expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci, this week referred to this moment as a perfect storm of viral contagion, all of which has intensified the debate about what the country - each of us, really - can do to slow down the spread of the virus, like wearing a face mask. Today President Trump was seen wearing a mask in public during a visit to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. But the president has sent mixed messages about this, refusing for months to wear a mask, as health experts recommend. So to begin tonight, we want to focus on a group of

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit LULU GARCIA-NAVARRO, HOST: Ryan Sutton is chief food critic for New York Eater, and he says he's not going to dine out - inside at tables while apart from each other, outside in the open air, anywhere under any circumstance at all. And he says you shouldn't either. Ryan Sutton joins us now from Long Island, N.Y. Welcome to the program. RYAN SUTTON: Thanks for having me, Lulu. GARCIA-NAVARRO: So tell us why you're taking this position to stick with takeout exclusively. You know, servers, bussers, overnight cleaning services - isn't it good to give the restaurants that employ them the business they need to stay afloat so that these people have jobs and income for their households? SUTTON: There's no denying that we're all in a very difficult situation right now. However, given that we have over, you know, 50,000 new cases, often every day, throughout the country, just from an individual moral standpoint, I simply can't bring myself to eat at a

Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit STEVE INSKEEP, HOST: A famous paper, a few months ago, described fighting the pandemic as the hammer and the dance. Officials would put down the hammer, shutting down businesses to slow the disease, and then try various maneuvers to dance back toward normal life. RACHEL MARTIN, HOST: California lowered the hammer last spring. Then came the dance. It's been gradually reopening businesses and beaches over the past couple months. But now Governor Gavin Newsom says he's got to go back to the hammer because COVID is spreading again. (SOUNDBITE OF PRESS CONFERENCE) GAVIN NEWSOM: A week or so ago, I was reporting just six lives lost. And then a few days later, well in excess of a hundred lives lost. And so this continues to be a deadly disease. MARTIN: It's not just businesses closing. The two biggest school districts in California say they won't have kids back in the classrooms for the foreseeable future. INSKEEP: Which is what we're going to discuss

For decades, chef Charlie Hallowell was a culinary star around Oakland, Calif., as beloved for his restaurants' hip vibe, as he was for his passion for all the right social causes. Even the national critics raved about his creative modern California cuisine and his "cult following." Bon Appetit fawned, "Hallowell should run for mayor already." But in December 2017, as the #MeToo movement was boiling over, the man celebrated for his cool cocktails and organic, locally-sourced farm-to-table ingredients was suddenly splayed across the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle as a serial sexual harasser. Dozens of women accused him of everything from constant lewd comments to uninvited kissing on the mouth, long, handsy hugs – and more. Catalina del Canto, who worked for Hallowell as a cook and hostess, says he would come up behind her when she was stocking shelves in the walk-in cooler and press against her. And the crass sexual banter, she says, was constant. "He asked if I had a

ARI SHAPIRO, HOST: A bipartisan delegation of Congresspeople is just back from Ukraine. It was a trip designed to strengthen the U.S.-Ukraine alliance, and it was planned before news broke of the whistleblower complaint against President Trump involving that same country. Congressman John Garamendi led the delegation as a senior member of the House Armed Services Committee. And the Democrat from California joins us now. Welcome, Congressman. JOHN GARAMENDI: Good to be with you. SHAPIRO: One central question in the impeachment inquiry is whether President Trump demanded help investigating a political rival in exchange for U.S. aid to Ukraine. And I know that aid was a central topic on your trip, so what did you learn about Ukraine's reliance on American assistance? GARAMENDI: Well, first of all, Ukraine is an extraordinary country. These citizens of that country are determined to be independent. They have been fighting a war against Russia for the last five years. They've lost 13- to 14