Eleven miners were injured as a result of an arc flash over a recent six-month period, according to a safety alert from the Mine Safety and Health Administration.

The G1562 Eyewash and Drench Hose “Keg” is the latest innovation in portable emergency equipment technology.

The self-contained 90320 16-Gallon Gravit-Eye Portable Gravity-Flow Unit uses gravity to deliver water through dual-spray heads.

Compliance made easy. The Eyewash Expiration Timer provides simple, effective visual management for emergency eyewashes, helping to ensure OSHA compliance.

The On-Site Portable Gravity-Fed Eyewash provides a mobile safety solution in locations without a plumbed water supply.

The AXION Advantage System offers a medically superior response for upgrading existing emergency equipment.

Quick access to an emergency eyewash/shower station is vital in the event of an incident.

Pressure washers are used to clean large areas, including buildings, parking lots, vehicles and other machinery. These high-powered tools also are used in disaster cleanup. But according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a pressure washer’s intense spray can cause wounds and other serious injuries that may at first appear minor.

CDC provides tips on how and when to wash your hands, and comments on the effectiveness of hand sanitizers.

Menomonee Falls, WI — Around 70% of office workers say they’re washing their hands more often because of new strains of the virus that causes COVID-19, while about half avoid shaking hands with others, results of a recent survey show.

Adelaide, Australia — Open toilet lids, defective plumbing drains and uncovered trash cans may increase the risk of bacterial and viral disease transmission in public restrooms, according to a recent research review.

“Arc Flash Electrical Safety,” a nine-module online course series, is a convenient and affordable self-paced course designed to help individuals who may otherwise find it difficult to attend classes through a more traditional method.

The next time you fuel up at a gas station, consider this: Most pump handles contain 11,000 times more germs than a toilet seat in a public restroom. And the keypad on the pump? The buttons typically have 15,000 times more germs than a public toilet seat, according to a tip sheet from KeepTruckingSafe.org.

Tumwater, WA — Health care workers should rely on their clinical recognition skills, workplace safety protocols and personal protective equipment to avoid contracting and spreading monkeypox, the Washington State Department of Labor & Industries advises.

The CU-ARC-5 Arc Flash Kit features a center weight positioning visor bracket that balances and distributes the weight of the shield evenly for extreme thermal energy conditions.

Arlington, VA — Nearly 2 out of 3 highway construction contractors say motor vehicle crashes have happened in work zones under their firm’s operation in the past year, according to a new survey.

Download this white paper from Thermomega to learn about the most-cited violations to OSHA, ANSI and ASSE regulations on showers and eyewash stations. Keep your facility compliant and your workers protected.

I’m concerned about bacterial growth in my emergency shower/eyewash equipment. What proactive steps can I take to keep my equipment clean and free of bacteria?

Tumwater, WA — A new webpage offers resources for fostering mental wellness in the workplace and supporting workers who have a diagnosed mental illness.

Tumwater, WA — Process safety management-focused updates to Washington state’s workplace safety rules for petroleum refineries are set to go into effect Dec. 27.

Chicago — A third of rideshare drivers have been involved in a crash while on the job, results of a recent study suggest.

Harrisburg, PA — A new Pennsylvania law says state highway construction and maintenance vehicles can display flashing/revolving fluorescent green lights to help protect roadway workers and drivers during inclement weather.

Tumwater, WA — Washington state has begun the development process for a rule to address work-related musculoskeletal disorders among airline ground crews.

Arlington, VA — Eleven miners in the past six months have been injured as a result of an arc flash, according to a new safety alert from the Mine Safety and Health Administration.

These personal protective equipment storage canisters feature an oversized 14-inch diameter that provides ultimate protection for arc flash suits with hoods or face shields.

“Cultivating the next generation of culinary innovators is both a privilege and a passion. Working on the competition with the students at IIT, sponsored by the Washington Red Raspberry Commission, has been a rewarding journey,” said Zal Taleyarkhan, Corporate Research Chef, Charlie Baggs Culinary Innovations.

Made with real whole cashews, Elmhurst’s Cashew Creamers are naturally smooth and velvety, with a rich consistency that performs in hot or iced coffee or tea. 

The 750AFR (Advanced Fog Resistance) Chemical Splash Goggle is designed for maximum anti-fog protection, featuring one of the most advanced protective coatings in the industry.

Designed to deliver the latest in active hydration and functionality for consumers on-the-go, BODYARMOR's new Flash I.V. Hydration Boosters offer the ability to refuel and replenish with more than 2200mg of essential electrolytes.

Developed with a coconut water base like other BODYARMOR Sports Drink, BODYARMOR Flash I.V. offers consumers the ability to refuel, replenish and recover with electrolytes.

Idahoan teamed up with the experts in hot sauce at Tapatío® to turn up the heat on their Triple Cheese Mashed Potatoes, which are available in a 4-cup pack

With 7g of complete protein per serving, Fit Butters x PEBBLES™ is made with premium whey protein and coconut oil to provide healthy fats and a decadent, low-sugar nut butter. 

Smashburger, the better-burger fast casual restaurant with 235 corporate and franchise locations, partnered with jack and annie's to launch a new plant-based burger made from jackfruit in all locations across the US.

Stash Tea’s new Tea Latte Concentrates offer teaheads a bold and unique way to enjoy café-quality lattes at home, catering to the growing consumer trend of at-home tea consumption which amounted to $2.92 billion in sales in 2024. 

The smooth, chef-crafted dips are free from dairy, soy, gluten, and oil, and are vegan. Plus, each serving is packed with live probiotics, promoting a healthy microbiome.

Allagash Brewing Company reports that it has experienced a more than 40% reduction in unplanned work orders since implementing Limble, a CMMS and asset management platform, across its maintenance organization.

Ravenwood is now offering the Nobac 40 promotional flash labeler as a standalone applicator or as an integrated option with any linerless applicator in the Nobac 5000 range.

QuickDrain USA, announced the arrival of the SquareDrain point drain – an extension of the QuickDrain total shower solution that reimagines how a drain should look and perform. 

What’s not to like about improving sustainability and protecting the environment while saving energy and money—and best of all, no equipment or software expenditures are necessary.

The company’s facility in Seymore, Ind. will build upon key learnings and successes from Vital Farms’ egg washing and packing facility in Springfield, Mo., which opened in 2017.

LSI Flooring, after acquiring Daltonian Flooring's padding division in 2022, introduces "Unsquashable Padding."

Children's Geographies; 02/01/2024
(AN 175911765); ISSN: 14733285
Academic Search Premier

This lecture is the inaugural Berkeley Distinguished Lecture in the Social Sciences (formerly the Moses Memorial Lectures) About this lecture In this lecture, Ted Miguel will present findings from a development economics research project based on a large-scale randomized controlled trial (RCT) in Kenya that he and collaborators have been conducting since 2014. He will start by discussing the rise of experimental methods and open science tools in economics research. Ted will then focus on new results from the Kenyan RCT that investigates the impact of cash transfers on infant mortality, leveraging a unique large-scale census of local households’ birth histories. The findings provide novel evidence on the broader impacts of cash transfers on the health and wellbeing of a poor rural population, and illustrate the value of the experimental approach in development economics for public policy.About Edward Miguel Edward (Ted) Miguel is Distinguished Professor of Economics, the Oxfam Professor of Environmental and Resource Economics, & Faculty co-Director of the Center for Effective Global Action at the University of California, Berkeley. He earned S.B. degrees in both Economics and Mathematics from MIT, received a Ph.D. in Economics from Harvard University, where he was a National Science Foundation Fellow. Ted’s main research focus is African economic development, including work on the economic causes and consequences of violence; interactions between health, education, environment, and productivity for the poor; and methods for transparency in social science research. He has published over 120 articles and chapters in leading academic journals and collected volumes. Prof. Miguel was elected as a Member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences in 2020, and awarded the Econometric Society Frisch Medal in 2024.

Extending outwards in concentric hexagons, the Ripple Lamp by Rikke Frost for BoConcept makes the understated a statement.

Karst Farm Park
2450 S. Endwright Rd.
Bloomington, IN 47403
Saturday, December 7, 2024, 10:30am – 12pm

Wheeler Mission—Bloomington is organizing our second annual Christmas-themed 5K run/walk, called Dash 4 Shelter, which will take place on Saturday, December 7.

Our timed 5K route will start and finish at Karst Farm Park with the route exclusively on Karst Farm Greenway.
Our event’s proceeds will support Wheeler Mission—Bloomington’s programs and services for those experiencing homelessness in South-Central Indiana.

Here are the details for Wheeler Mission—Bloomington’s Dash 4 Shelter:

• When: Saturday, December 7
• Start Time: 10:30 am
• Route: Timed 5K on Karst Farm Greenway, beginning at the Karst Farm Park trailhead
• College Students receive $10 off registration (so, $20); Veterans and First Responders receive $5 off registration
• Dash 4 Shelter Event Site: www.runsignup.com…

For more information, sponsorship opportunities, or event questions, please contact Chris-Michael (C-M) Morrison at cmmorrison@wheelermission.org.

Presenter: Wheeler Mission--Bloomington
Contact: Chris-Michael G. Morrison
Cost: $30/adult (19 years-old and up); $25/child (8-18 years-old)
Ticket Phone: 8122192939
Ticket Web Link: runsignup.com…
Communities: Bedford, Bloomington, Brown County, Columbus, Franklin, French Lick/West Baden, Greencastle, Greene County, Greensburg, Greenwood, Indianapolis, Kokomo, Martinsville, Seymour, Spencer, Statewide, Terre Haute
More info: www.runsignup.com…

NW Natural talks up its climate strategy, but new legal challenges say the company has spent years lying about the environmental impact of natural gas. by Taylor Griggs

For years, environmental advocates have said NW Natural attempts to obfuscate the negative climate and health impacts of natural gas utilities in order to remain dominant in the market. NW Natural, Oregon’s largest gas utility operation, has responded to such allegations with fierce resistance, promoting its service as more climate-friendly than electric alternatives and talking up plans to go greener in the future. 

But two lawsuits filed against NW Natural earlier this month put a spotlight on its alleged greenwashing practices, arguing the company has knowingly disenfranchised customers and contributed to the climate crisis. The first lawsuit, filed on October 7, adds NW Natural to Multnomah County’s existing legal challenge against several other oil companies for their role in perpetuating the deadly 2021 heat dome event. Just two days later on October 9, two NW Natural customers filed a class action suit against the company for falsely representing a program it says will offset the carbon emissions caused by customers’ natural gas use. 

Many Oregonians rely on gas heat appliances, whether to heat their homes or power their stoves, and nearly all of them have NW Natural as their service provider. NW Natural serves more than two million people across Oregon and southwest Washington, and is the only gas utility company serving Multnomah County. 

Proponents of natural gas say gas utilities are economical, efficient, and reliable in the case of power outages. But scientists and environmental experts say there are major downsides, too. Residential and commercial energy use accounts for about 20 percent of Oregon’s carbon emissions—the second largest category after transportation—and natural gas combustion accounts for a sizable portion of those emissions. Methane leaks from gas appliances also have a major climate impact, with gas stoves in particular emitting planet-warming greenhouse gasses even when they’re not in use. 

And if the environmental harm wasn’t enough, recent studies also show gas stoves are worse for human health than previously thought, with clear connections to carcinogenic pollutants. Long-term exposure to nitrogen dioxide from gas stoves has also been shown to lead to tens of thousands of cases of childhood asthma. 

As experts have sounded the alarm on all the impacts of gas utilities, environmental advocates and lawmakers have ramped up efforts to move Oregonians away from natural gas. The Portland Clean Energy Fund, for example, has invested tens of millions of dollars in deep energy retrofit projects, which will replace fossil fuel-reliant heating and cooling systems with electric systems. The program has invested millions more into building new, energy-efficient housing and commercial buildings. 

In resisting being pushed out of the market, the recent lawsuits say NW Natural has duped customers and pushed false propaganda about natural gas and the environment. 

Environmental advocates hope the legal challenges will have a practical impact on the company’s bottom line and enlighten the public.

Part of NW Natural’s public outreach strategy has been its sponsorship of community events, including those hosted by environmentally-minded organizations. In an effort to limit the gas utility’s greenwashing message, environmental advocates want local groups to cut ties with NW Natural, or think twice before accepting a future sponsorship deal. 

“NW Natural has a captive audience that trusts what their natural gas utility is telling them,” Carra Sahler, an attorney and director of Lewis and Clark Law School’s Green Energy Institute, tells the Mercury. “The more we can do to encourage skepticism, the better, and the easier it will be for people to make a switch [to electrify their homes] and to feel good about making that switch.” 

Multnomah County’s amended lawsuit says NW Natural’s carbon and methane emissions have been “a cause of enormous harm” to the county and its residents. But, the lawsuit says, you wouldn’t know that by listening to the gas utility company’s public messaging. 

The county’s lawsuit states NW Natural has emitted at least 72.1 metric tons of CO2 equivalent in the last few decades, but has “deceived the public by claiming its product is safe, clean, and environmentally friendly.” 

The lawsuit provides several examples of the company’s alleged deceitful practices. Some particularly egregious instances include attempts to influence children and the Oregon education system. In 2021, NW Natural offered activity booklets to schools containing colorful drawings and activities for children promoting natural gas. The company also tried to use a front organization to host a training session for teachers about renewable gas, offering a $200 stipend to each teacher who attended. The training was canceled after public backlash. 

The misinformation from NW Natural got so bad, state agencies had to step in.

Earlier this year, NW Natural distributed a newsletter to its customers containing misinformation about Oregon’s Climate Protection Program policy. The newsletter said the climate policy would not reduce greenhouse gas emissions, but would result in a 14 percent rate hike for all NW Natural customers. In response, the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality made a statement disavowing NW Natural’s campaign against the state policy. 

“In summary, NW Natural has routinely misrepresented to the public the climate impacts of extracting, transporting, storing and burning their product while over-estimating the costs of transitioning to renewables or reducing their pollution in an effort to frighten customers and discourage policy makers from using their authority to protect the public,” the Multnomah County lawsuit states. 

Sahler commends the county for including NW Natural in the big oil lawsuit.

“NW Natural is a trusted provider of warmth in homes, part of the local fabric... It’s exciting to see the county taking action—it’s brave to take on one more fossil fuel interest, especially a local one,” she told the Mercury. “Multnomah County's lawsuit appropriately lumps Northwest Natural in with the other big fossil fuel companies that we know are problematic, and it helps people understand what we're dealing with here.” 

David Roy, NW Natural’s director of communications, told the Mercury the company is “disappointed the County is spending resources on litigation instead of on developing effective emission reduction policies that work for County residents and businesses.” 

“We will continue to pursue pathways that allow Oregonians, including low- and moderate-income customers, to have access to two energy systems—electric and gas—for their homes and businesses,” Roy said. “NW Natural will vigorously contest these claims should they come to court. Regarding the Multnomah County action, we believe adding the company to the suit at this later date is an attempt to divert attention from legal and factual flaws in the case.” 

While Multnomah County’s lawsuit hones in on misleading claims and practices, the class action lawsuit specifically targets NW Natural’s Smart Energy program, an additional monthly fee available to customers, ostensibly to offset the carbon emissions associated with their natural gas use. Upon further investigation, however, NW Natural sends this carbon offset surcharge to industrial dairy farms for questionable “manure digesters,” which generate energy from methane-producing livestock waste. 

The complaint says the relationship between “carbon offset” funds, like NW Natural’s Smart Energy program, and the industrial dairies may incentivize the expansion of factory farming and enable further livestock waste production. 

“Independent research demonstrates that, at best, the climate benefits of manure digestion are not well studied and remain unclear,” the lawsuit says. “At worst, emissions reductions are significantly overstated.” 

Nicolas Blumm, one of the plaintiffs in the Smart Energy case, tells the Mercury he signed up for the program shortly after becoming a NW Natural customer. Since he didn’t have much of a choice about his gas utility system, he wanted to be as eco-friendly as possible while doing it. 

Blumm said the additional payment for the Smart Energy program was small—last January, he paid about $5 extra on his gas bill—so he didn’t think about it much. But once he realized where the money was going, he felt taken advantage of. 

The Smart Energy lawsuit points out that “corporate claims regarding sustainability and lower climate impact are particularly difficult for consumers to verify” and “climate-conscious consumers are particularly vulnerable to climate-related ‘greenwashing.’” 

“People deserve to have a chance to be honestly informed,” Blumm said. “I don’t think you should have to dig through and make sure every dollar you’re giving NW Natural is going exactly where they say it is. If they say the program is going to make your service carbon neutral, that’s how it should be.” 

In addition to the two lawsuits, NW Natural recently faced a blow from the Oregon Public Utilities Commission (OPUC). Last week, OPUC ordered the company to phase out gas subsidies by 2027. These subsidies are also known as line extension allowances, which gas utility companies including NW Natural charge existing customers in order to pay for expanding natural gas infrastructure to connect new customers to the service. 

Line extension allowances have been criticized by renewable energy advocates as environmentally damaging and economically burdensome for customers. But Roy, the NW Natural communications director, told the Mercury the company is “disappointed with the Commission’s decision,” and believes its subsidy proposal “supports the state’s goals for increased housing and reduced greenhouse gas emissions.” 

Advocates hope the recent news about NW Natural will lead to change in the community’s relationship with the company. While many consumers don’t have a choice about whether or not they can pay NW Natural for their monthly gas utility service, local organizations have more flexibility. NW Natural frequently sponsors or co-sponsors events across the region, ranging from county fairs to the Portland Bureau of Transportation’s (PBOT) annual Sunday Parkways open streets events. At these events, the utility company often sets up a booth to share information about natural gas, which environmental advocates say is often misleading. 

PBOT Communications Director Hannah Schafer told the Mercury the bureau is “aware of the concerns” and hasn’t made sponsorship decisions for the 2025 Sunday Parkways season. 

Sahler, the attorney, told the Mercury, considering the harm burning natural gas has caused to the planet and to human health, she wants to see local leaders draw a line in the sand. 

“Fossil fuel companies are like tobacco companies. You wouldn’t have a tobacco company at [events like Sunday Parkways],” Sahler said. “At some point it has to be unacceptable to support a business that is poisoning us.” 

by Wm. Steven Humphrey

GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.)

• Lawsuits Allege Deceit and Greenwashing by Oregon’s Largest Gas Utility

Advocates hope two lawsuits filed this month against gas utility NW Natural lead to change. The lawsuits say NW Natural has lied to customers and shared greenwashing propaganda, including spreading misinformation about a state climate policy.

• POP QUIZ PDX!

It's the spooooky HALLOWEEN edition of your fave weekly trivia quiz! This week: creepy Trump statues, ghost cars, and Portland's most HAUNTED locales! OoooOOOoooooh! (That's our imitation of a ghost, btw. ????) See how well YOU score!

• The Mercury's November 2024 VOTER CHEAT SHEET!

Filling out your ballot this weekend? GOOD! Need help? Voila, here's your 100% accurate Mercury Endorsement Cheat Sheet to help you fill out your ballot lickety-split!

• How Portland Became a Roller Derby Mecca

Twenty years ago, Portland's first modern roller derby league emerged. It's now the largest derby league in the world. Now, the four-time global champion Rose City Rollers will compete for another title win this weekend at the Veterans Memorial Coliseum.

• Could the James Beard Public Market Rise From the Corpse of Corporate Failure?

Long envisioned as Portland's version of Seattle's Pike Place, the James Bear Public Market would also provide an answer to downtown’s dearth of fresh produce.

• What to Expect From Portland’s New Government

Good news: Portland is getting a (much needed) new form of city government in January. But what exactly is changing for our elected officials? And, perhaps more importantly, how will all of this impact you?

• THE TRASH REPORT

If you're looking for the trashiest gossip from this election season, then you've found the right garbage can. ???? ????

• TICKET ALERT

Get those tickets now for the shows you don't want to miss, including Tyler, The Creator, country pop princess Kelsea Ballerini, and Berlin-based pianist, composer, and producer Nils Frahm!

• Infinite Life: A Play About Pain That Hurts So Good

Third Rail Repertory kicks off its 2024-25 season with a work by contemporary theater star Annie Baker. Never before have six actors worked their respective chaise lounges with such verve.

• Don't Miss the Mercury's ELECTION NIGHT WATCH PARTY!

Looking for fun on election night? Join your friends at Mississippi Studios for the Mercury's official election night watch party—hosted by the hilarious Alex Falcone and Shain Brenden! (And what? IT'S FREE!)

WOW, THAT IS A LOT OF GOOD READIN'. I hope you didn't have any other plans this weekend! Dig in, and remember: Producing all this hard work costs moolah—so please consider contributing to the Mercury to keep it all coming! Thanks!

Worried? Try putting your head deep into this garbage gossip can for a few minutes. by Elinor Jones

Hello, and welcome back to the Trash Report! Like many people with mental illness, my home is a reflection of what is happening with the ol' brain—when depression is in the driver's seat, my house gets messy; when anxiety is calling the shots, the palace is pristine. And friends, being ONE DAY away from yet ANOTHER "most crucial presidential election of our time," I am literally out of things to organize! There is no more dust. I'm ironing? Your girl is not okay. I love this column for an excuse to look at something besides another very frightening poll, so let's get to the trash!

As this election plummets to its final resting place, Kamala Harris has collected endorsements from such luminaries as Cardi B, Bad Bunny, Eminem, Jennifer Lopez, Harrison Ford, and most of the Avengers.

I do believe that, despite this, she will win https://t.co/cOU7ZeWAKa

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 3, 2024

The most recent celebrity to come out for Trump was none other than the the famously antisemitic Mel Gibson, who shared his support only after Trump's Nazi rally at Madison Square Garden, which goes to prove just how much of a Nazi rally that definitely was.  

On a recent episode of his podcast, Ted Danson apologized to Kelsey Grammer for carrying a grudge since they worked together on Cheers. Grammer graciously accepted the apology. But I am not graciously receiving this "gossip." What happened?! What was the argument about? Why do this on a podcast without giving us the tea? This is the same kind of bullshit "this is not who we are" 2016-era dignity that no longer is the vibe. We're petty now! Tell us who was mean! Danson went on to say "I feel like I missed out on the last 30 years of Kelsey Grammer." What celebrity planet was Ted Danson living on because I feel like the rest of us have seen far too much Kelsey Grammer in the past 30 years. Streaming services were basically invented to avoid reruns of Frasier. 

In much more interesting feuds, Martha Stewart alluded to one between her and fellow kitchen and lifestyle guru Ina Garten. Garten had claimed in her recent memoir that the women drifted apart after one of them moved to Connecticut. Stewart agrees that the rift had to do with a move, but it was Stewart moving into a federal prison. I would imagine it could feel complicated to be a public figure being friends with a felon, but I can guarantee that if one of my friends went to jail for a non-violent crime I wouldn't stop talking to them! I'd probably talk way too much to them, in fact. I just have so many questions. If Martha Stewart and I had been friends who fell out and she later reflected on it, she would be like "Elinor was there for me when I was in jail, but she was too there for me, and wouldn't leave me alone, and I was sick of talking about prison toilet wine, so that's when our feud started."

The long-awaited sequel to The Gladiator is coming out soon and I could not have less interest in going to see it! That is, until Pedro Pascal revealed that he and Paul Mescal kissed in one take of a fight scene, and that might be the take they used in the movie, and I guess I'm going to go see Gladiator 2 now. Have the Wicked PR folks considered floating a rumor that Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande kiss instead of hawking a green and pink version of every product on God's green earth? (And is there a pink earth? There probably will be soon!) 

At this point is there a category of merchandise that doesn’t have a Wicked tie-in? I’m half expecting my gynecologist to ask whether I want a pink or green speculum.

— Anika Chapin (@AnikaChapin) October 31, 2024

Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz have allegedly called off their engagement after three years together, and just days after Tatum finally ended his years-long divorce saga with ex Jenna Dewan. This makes me think that Zoe Kravitz for sure never thought that Tatum's divorce would ever be finalized when she said yes to that ring. Tatum has been spotted around New York City smoking cigarettes, but holding them in a way that makes me think he hasn't smoked before; starting smoking at 44 is hilarious, but also very hot and chic!

In other rebound choices, Gisele Bunchen revealed that she is pregnant with her third child, which will be her first since getting divorced from Tom Brady, and the first with her boyfriend, who is also her longtime Jiu-Jitsu instructor. Tom Brady is reacting to it like any normal 30-year-old woman and posting Fleetwood Mac lyrics to his Instagram which is the most I've ever liked him. 

Helen Mirren recently waxed poetically about tragic losses of beloved icons, specifically Kurt Cobain, and specifically that Kurt Cobain's early demise in the 90s meant that he never got to experience the magic that is a GPS system. Iconic music producer Quincy Jones passed away just yesterday. He would have seen GPS. Does Helen Mirren not think this is as sad of a loss, because at least he died with the immense satisfaction of having watched a little dot that represented his car being driven towards a destination, thus making it a full and worthwhile life? Helen Mirren has yet to comment. 

A Sam's Club in Maryland had to shut down last week due to a racoon breaking into their bakery. A statement from the store read "after attempts to locate the raccoon were unsuccessful, Sam's Club representatives were advised best practices to properly capture the animal." Which means that during the initial attempts to capture the animal, they had no idea what the best practices were, and it must have been so funny. Imagine that raccoon's surprise to learn that there is a way to eat croissants, pre-trash? Going back to garbage pastries after that has got to be a bummer. Anyway, as the kids say, "in da clerb we all fam," but the clerb is a Sam's Club. Sam's Clerb, as it were.

Okay, I just realized there's a bookshelf in my office that I haven't yet reorganized and if I don't do that right now it will make it so college-educated women in Michigan won't turn out in numbers, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. I hope you get through the next few days okay. If you process stress by being around people, the Mercury is going to hold an election night party hosted by the more extroverted of us. Meanwhile, we indoor kids will be live-blogging as the night goes on, so check back here if that's something you can handle. Thank you for reading and for voting and for being cherished members of the dumpster pile. 

Nervously,

by Elinor Jones

What's happening Trash Pandas? Welcome back to the Trash Report. I am Elinor Jones and I am not doing well! Lucky for us, things have been shitty often enough and recently enough that we can disassociate and do our silly little activities. How fortunate we are to live in times that challenge us! JK! I hate it!!

Well my friends, I guess we didn't coconut hard enough, because Donald Trump is headed back to the White House. A lot of people will have a lot of thoughtful breakdowns in the coming weeks and months about what went wrong, but it seems pretty obvious to me that we live in a country that hates women—Black women especially—and they like Trump. It sucks, but usually the simplest explanation is the correct one. Ad buys in Pennsylvania or door knocking in Michigan wouldn't have changed the fact that people hate women and like Trump, and even if they didn't totally love Trump, they were at least more comfortable with him in power than with a woman. Democrats spent a billion dollars to try to educate voters on why Trump is bad, but it didn't work; people know he's bad, they just don't care, or they like that part about him. They like how Trump talks more than they like the way Democrats talk, especially Democrats who are women. This handwringing about like "oh, if only people understood the real issues" and like: no. We're past that. Issues don't matter. Not only do people not care, but it also makes Democrats even less likable when we're trying to scold them over to our side. During one of my spirals I realized how weird it is that there isn't even a phrase like "owning the libs" for chuds? Like, us bullying them into silence or an embarrassing hissy fit isn't even on the damn table. Why is that? What are we doing? In hindsight the best messaging of the entire campaign was when everybody laughed at J.D. Vance for fucking a couch; if we could have had more like that in play instead of Liz fucking Cheney reminding us that Kamala Harris is pro-military and celebrities who will never worry about money insisting that Biden's economy is good, actually, we probably could have could probably have gotten some people (who voted only off vibes) to like ours better, although probably not enough to convince people not to hate women. As you can tell, I am very, very angry! Most of it is directed at Joe Biden. He should have run in 2016, he should not have run in 2020, he shouldn't have attempted a reelection campaign this year, and then he should have dropped out faster when the writing was on the wall after the debate in June. End rant. (For now. There's still a lot of juice in this tank, and it's gonna be a loooong four years.)

Trump promised RFK Jr a role overseeing health in his new administration, and the first order of business floated is removing fluoride from our nation's drinking water. This captured headlines for its absurdity. "Why in the world would we not take such an easy and impactful action to help everybody, but especially poor children, have healthier teeth? What anti-science freakshows would take issue with fluoride in the water?" "Wow, yeah, totally," said the city of Portland as we pulled our shirt collars up around our faces and sought an immediate exit from the conversation. Being part of a Venn diagram where one circle is RFK Jr. and the other circle is Portland and the middle part is "fluoride = bad" is not a good look for us.

In other news, fans allege that someone attending a recent Sabrina Carpenter concert squatted and peed in the middle of the pit before the show started. Knowing that Carpenter had just played in Portland, when I saw the headline about someone being gross at a show, I immediately assumed that it happened here. I was wrong—it was San Francisco—but that is the kind of national news I'd like our city to make and not "RFK Jr approves of Portland's municipal health initiatives." Let's go back to "Portland Sucks." Nationally, it's an easier place for us to be.

The thing that might divide my family this Thanksgiving is not politics—we are all aligned there, thank God—but whether we should first see Moana 2 or Wicked. We are leaning Moana 2, mostly because this Disney sequel is shockingly not the one unleashing inescapable product tie-ins everywhere I look. Speaking of which, the folks at Mattel did so by putting a link to a porn site on the packaging for some Glinda and Elphaba dolls and had to apologize and issue a recall. LOL. I can imagine the exhausted and overworked marketing associate who's trying to stave off sleep by occasionally watching some adult content and deliriously copy-pasting the wrong link. Look, you mass produce 10,000 different green and pink items, you're bound to screw up something.  

In other Wicked news, director Jon Chu missed the LA premiere because his wife went into labor and gave birth to a baby girl. The baby is the couple's fifth; a full three of those five children were born during the development and filming of Wicked. His wife may have told him she was proud of him, but her body was clearly saying "no sir, we are not doing that anymore." And she feels like five kids is plenty, but knows that Wicked 2 is only a year away and is debating whether a sixth baby could keep that press buzz out of their family life.

Grammy nominations came out last week, and women came out on top. Imagine if Kamala Harris won the White House during the same week that Beyoncé became the most nominated artist in Grammy history? We could have been so happy, and so annoying. Etsy would have gotten absolutely filthy with throw pillow bearing feminist catchphrases. This column would have been damn near unreadable, even more so than usual. The gods took a look at us American women as our souls threatened to leave our bodies with how badly we (at least most of us) needed a win, and said "they simply cannot have both things" and went with Grammys instead of the presidency, which isn't the direction I would have gone, but I am not a god. Yet.

A passenger got video of a raccoon falling out of the ceiling at La Guardia airport in New York City. La Guardia had just been named America's Best Airport, taking the coveted spot that PDX usually holds, and you know what? I agree. We simply need more raccoons. Trash Pandas: assemble.

Meanwhile down in South Carolina, 43 monkeys escaped a research facility and are currently on the loose. Authorities are advising residents to lock their windows, and I would definitely have a hard time doing that. I think they would like me. It's like how at Yellowstone they have to put up all the signs advising people not to approach bears. While I understand the reason for the signs, I also believe that I am a person who a bear would allow to pet it. I think monkeys would feel the same way. Any other indoor kids read Summer of the Monkeys? It's a book about a circus train that derailed and a bunch of monkeys got loose and they finally trusted one young man to return them to captivity. I think I could be that young man. Call me, South Carolina. 

I'm gonna be honest, Trash Pandas: I could keep writing this column all night. I didn't want to start working on it, but as I've been writing, and reflecting, and trying to put words to all the big things I feel, I have to admit that Doing Something does feel better than doing nothing, even though doing nothing is so tempting. We may not have fluoridated water, and we may not be pissing on the floors at arena concerts (yet), but we have each other, and I'm very grateful for that.

Togetherly,

New York City Mayor Eric Adams, no stranger to controversy, has ignited another with a hat. NPR's Scott Simon explains.