With the lockdown prompting students and parents in uncertainty, schools in Mumbai have been acting on requests received from parents on rolling back fees and refunding miscellaneous fares.

According to a report in The Times of India, city schools have been rolling back fees for bus and canteen as children are attending classes online and not availing the services.

Parents have been requesting for financial relief from the school as they have been facing pressure in terms of their jobs and businesses due to the lockdown imposed by the government due to the Coronavirus outbreak. A parent was quoted by the newspaper as saying that the requests for carrying forward a portion of tuition fees and/or additional variable costs to the next term were also made, to which schools replied that they are looking for ways to address the concerns in the best possible way.

The Dhirubhai Ambani International School in Bandra Kurla Complex issued a notice to students and parents that states, "During this time, as we offer virtual classes, your child is not availing the school transport service and the canteen snack facility. Taking this into account, the school has decided to refund the charges paid toward these services for the current quarter of 2020."

Addressing the concerns by parents, the management of the Children’s Academy Group of Schools said that they have decided to roll back on the fee hike. The school’s trustee Rohan Bhatt was quoted by the newspaper saying that "We understand that the parents also might be going through a difficult period financially and, hence, have decided to roll back the fee hike for at least six months," adding that they are also allowing parents to pay the fees at their own pace. However, the trustee also mentioned that if the situation persists, the school may face trouble in paying the salaries of teachers and staff.

On the other hand, some parents said that they are willing to pay the schools until they can afford to and as long as children are getting their education from online classes. Lauding the efforts by the teachers, a parent was quoted by the newspaper as saying, "The efforts the teachers and school are putting into teaching the kids is phenomenal. My child is learning everything from football to keyboard through online classes. So as long as we can, we would be willing to support the school."

Meanwhile, on the circular issued by the Maharashtra state education board, asking schools to be considerate while demanding fees for the ongoing and the next academic year, state education minister Varsha Gaikwad said on Friday that the parents can lodge a complain to the district education officers if schools are forcing them to pay during the lockdown period.

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The financial crisis caused due to the COVID-19 pandemic has led to school fees becoming a major point of discussion. While many schools have introduced novel concepts to ease the burden, parents are also discussing ways with managements to avoid issues with salary to staff.

Despite the constant demand by parents to cancel fees or give concessions, this is not possible for all schools. Principal of Smt. Sulochanadevi Singhania School in Thane, Revathy Srinivasan said, "Schools cannot do away with fees, after all, salaries need to be paid to staff."

Some relax norms

Many schools have their own model of relaxation in fees. Meera Isaacs, principal of Cathedral and John Connon School, said, "If some parents are facing genuine issues, we consider them. We have also waived off fine on late payment of fees."

Similarly, at the Sri Sri Ravishankar Vidya Mandir, the late fee is waived. Despite a PTA-approved hike in fees to be implemented this year, the school has decided to continue with the old fee structure for three months. Principal Rekha Kapoor, said, "This decision was taken due to the current situation."

Jamnabai Narsee School has not spoken anything about fees as yet. "Generally parents pay fees in the month of April. But we have not collected fees as we are yet to take a decision. We are not going to push for them so fast," said principal Zeenat Bhojabhoy.

Bombay Scottish, Mahim has deferred the increase in fees for the forthcoming year. Dhirubhai Ambani International School has decided to waive off transport and canteen fees. At Pawar Public School, one month extension was provided to parents to pay the first instalment.

'Govt must intervene'

Former education minister Ashish Shelar has written a letter to Education Minister Varsha Gaikwad, asking her to issue an order to schools to rollback fee hikes. But parents feel that the issue should not be politicised.

President of Parents of Private Schools of Maharashtra (POPSOM), Milind Gangurde said, "Many parents are dependent on jobs. Some are facing huge salary cuts or loss of jobs due to the situation. It is time the government intervenes and takes a strong stand in favour of parents."

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Dear Diana,
I am 26 and plan to get married to this guy I have known for the last three years. His parents, however, detest me. They are aware that we intend to tie the knot, but they still feel their son will not go against their wishes. His family feels I am not suitable for him. They refuse to explain why. They feel I am not their type — whatever it means. Six months ago, we had planned on a Arya Samaj wedding, but he backed out at the last minute. I then told him we should have a court marriage. He said if he were to marry, he did not want to do anything on the sly. With every passing day, I find his behaviour changing. He is also behaving strange. I think he doesn’t love me anymore. What should I do?
— Sancheeti

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sancheeti,
It appears that this man is not interested in marriage. If he was, he would not dilly-dally about committing to you. He might be in a relationship with you, but is he really serious about you? It seems like he does not want to infuriate his family. His backing out at the last minute is a clear sign that he will bow to his family’s wishes at the end. You will be the one nursing a broken heart as his folks will fix his marriage somewhere else. He needs to make it clear if he is willing to go against the wishes of his family. If his behaviour towards you has changed lately, it’s a clear sign that things are amiss. You can’t trust this man, so be wary and make it clear to him. He needs to tell you where you stand in his list of priorities.

Dear Diana,
My wife and I have been married for four years now. Both of us have had very different upbringings. While I have been living away from my parents for over ten years, my wife has always lived with her parents. Although she is a free-thinking and independent woman, I feel that she is overly dependent on her parents. No matter what issues she faces, her parents are the first ones to know. I do not have a problem with her discussing her issues with them, the issue I have is that she should be able to filter what she discusses with them and draw a line. Just the other day, she was telling them about a fight we had and how to resolve it. Do they need to know everything? Sometimes I feel that I am overreacting and should accept her for what she is but then again, why do her parents need to know everything that's going on in our lives? I have tried talking to her but she thinks that I am overthinking. What do I do? Please help.
– Rakesh

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Rakesh,
Your situation is slightly tricky but with a little effort you can resolve the issue. First, you need to understand that everyone shares a different kind of rapport with their parents. May be you are okay not calling yours often since you are used to that kind of set up but just like your wife there are several others for whom parents come first no matter what the situation is and they need to discuss everything with them. I suggest you sit down and talk to her about what you expect from her. Politely tell that that you don't mind her talking to her parents often but she needs to know the boundaries. Also, converse often because may be it's the lack of communication that makes her vent to her parents in the first place.

As parents to tots Misha and Zain, Shahid Kapoor and Mira Kapoor can well understand the difficulties of staying indoors with the 'bundles of energies'. The star wife has provided tips and urged parents to be patient with kids during the lockdown.

She posted, "Paint with them and let their clothes and the walls get dirty. Watch cartoons with them. Give them extra ketchup if they ask for it (sic)."

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

Love them. Hug them. Ask them how they feel and let them cry if they’re not okay. Kiss them. Paint with them and let their clothes and the walls get dirty. Watch their favourite cartoon with them. Snuggle up with them. Give them extra ketchup if they ask for it that day. And when you’re tired after doing the dishes and cooking dinner and they say “Mumma can you play with me” remember this time isn’t forever. Little hands. Big hearts Love them.

A post shared by Mira Rajput Kapoor (@mira.kapoor) onApr 29, 2020 at 9:52am PDT

She added that it is tough but "when you're tired and they want you to play with them, remember this time isn't forever (sic)."

Mira Rajput Kapoor is quite active in social media, and has been active even during the coronavirus lockdown. From cooking, painting, to sharing throwback pictures and selfies, Mira Rajput is making the most of the free time. In fact, she shared a lovely selfie that shows her enjoying a good hair day!

 

 

 

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Good hair days 🙋🏻‍♀️

A post shared by Mira Rajput Kapoor (@mira.kapoor) onMay 1, 2020 at 10:26pm PDT

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The coronavirus pandemic has brought cities around the world to a virtual standstill. Many multinationals and IT companies in India have asked employees to work from home until further notice as a precautionary measure. The government has also announced the closure of malls, multiplex, swimming pools and gyms. Due to lockdown, several of them are missing their families back home.

Malaika Arora too is missing her family. She hasn't visited them for the past 50 days. Recently, the 46-year-old actress took to Instagram to post a throwback family picture with her parents and sister Amrita. The black-and-white picture includes Malaika, her mother Joyce, father Anil Arora and sister Amrita Arora. She captioned the picture, "50 days n counting .... miss u guys (sic)". Amrita also poured her heart out and commented "Miss you'll toooo much (sic)".

 

 

 

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50 days n counting .... miss u guys ♥ï¸Â♥ï¸Â♥ï¸Â

A post shared by Malaika Arora (@malaikaaroraofficial) onMay 4, 2020 at 9:26pm PDT

Recently, Malaika took to her Instagram account to share a beautiful throwback picture with her son Arhaan Khan and asked us not to take life for granted. She has shared a picture of the time when life was normal as compared to the restrictions that have been imposed today. She captioned it, "#throwback to a time where life felt normal compared to all that is restricted today .... (food, travel , hugs, kisses ,work ,friends, family )... don't take life for granted .stay positive n don't wipe that smile of ur face #thistooshallpass #weallinthistogether (sic)".

 

 

 

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#throwback to a time where life felt normal compared to all that is restricted today .... (food, travel , hugs, kisses ,work ,friends, family )... don't take life for granted .stay positive n don't wipe that smile of ur face #thistooshallpass🙏 #weallinthistogether ðŸ¤Â—

A post shared by Malaika Arora (@malaikaaroraofficial) onMay 2, 2020 at 10:03pm PDT

What was also heart-filled was her selfie she shared recently that was both unkempt and unswerving. She looked breathtaking and gorgeous and wrote- "Another week goes by... wondering wat awaits us." (sic).

 

 

 

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Another week goes by... wondering wat awaits us....but for now loving the sun on my skin n the wind in my hair n the comfort of knowing that I have a roof over my head with my loved ones .#gratitudeonly🙏 #staypositive #stayhomestaysafe #inthistogether

A post shared by Malaika Arora (@malaikaaroraofficial) onApr 24, 2020 at 9:09pm PDT

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Actors Smriti Khanna and Gautam Gupta have welcomed their first child, a baby girl. Sharing the news with her followers, Smriti took to Instagram. "Our princess has arrived... 15.04.2020," she wrote. Along with it, she also shared a picture that shows the couple holding the newborn in their arms.

 

 

 

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Our princess has arrived 💗 15.04.2020

A post shared by Smriti Khanna (@smriti_khanna) onApr 15, 2020 at 9:28am PDT

Reacting to the post, fans and friends showered them with congratulatory wishes.

Actress Dia Mirza commented: "Oh yaaay! so so happy. This is the best news. Can't wait to meet our angel."

Actor Arjun Bijlani wrote: "So happy for you guys. Lots of blessings for our princess. Welcome to the parent gang."

Smriti and Gautam got married in 2017. They have worked together in the TV show "Meri Aashiqui Tum Se Hi".

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Rakul Preet Singh started off with the south industry and is now one of the coveted actresses of Bollywood. She started off as a sportsperson and has played golf at a state level, but soon changed industries and her mother was the driving force for the career change. Her mother, Rini Singh revealed that she was the one that prepared her for Miss India and encouraged her to audition. Whenever Rakul would question her how things will work out, Rini moulded her.

Even when Rakul expressed that she will be required to wear a bikini, her mother said that she will prepare for it. Rakul reveals that her parents were more comfortable with the idea of her wearing a bikini more than she was. Whenever they went shopping, her father would ask her to buy vibrant coloured bikinis rather than the dull ones. It was Rakul's mother that wanted her to be a part of the industry because she was aware that Rakul could do it.

Rakul also spoke about how her mom changed jobs to take care of her brother and her whenever her father was transferred. She definitely gives all the credit to her parents for being super supportive with her career. She will next be seen in Attack with John Abraham and Jacqueline Fernandes and has already started shooting for her untitled next with Arjun Kapoor.

Also Read: Rakul Preet Singh says Alia Bhatt is the best actress we have today

Nupur Dhingra Paiva with daughters Tara, 9, and Isabelle, 6. Pic/Shadab Khan

When five-year-old Armaan walked into child psychotherapist Nupur Dhingra Paiva's clinic, her impression about the kid, whose shoulders were hunched over, was that he was "weighed down by something significant". Armaan's mother would later tell her how he felt unloved, wanted to run away from home and even shoot himself. But, it wasn't until Armaan's father joined the therapist and his wife for chat, an hour later, that Paiva noticed something alter in the child. The kid slowly crawled into his father's lap, and curled up there like a little prawn, Paiva recounted. That the child was craving for his dad's attention was a given.

Vignettes like these form the crux of Paiva's new book, Love and Rage: The Inner Worlds of Children (Yoda Press), where she breaks down conversations she has had in her healing room with both parents and children, to reiterate how love and affection is central to influencing a child's personality. "I felt an urgent need to communicate with the world that what comes into our consulting room is not crazy or bizarre -it is the stuff of ordinary life - ordinary conflicts, struggles and joys. And that mental health distress in adolescence and adulthood is almost entirely based on early life experience, from conception onwards," says the Delhi-based clinical psychologist, of why she wrote the book. "Adults who are interacting with children, as parents, teachers or carers, are sometimes far removed from the lived experience of the child. They become task focussed and outcome oriented - it becomes a lot about achievement, growth and the end result of happiness," she adds. In doing so, Paiva says that people forget "that the growth of the personality is a complex, slow process that needs nurturing".

Here, Paiva, who is also mother to two daughters, offers an "only love-not rage" guide.

>> It takes two
When a child is angry with one parent, it helps to have an available alternative. I have to add that I am not necessarily talking about the heteronormative two parents - male-female couple. Children need a diversity of responsible caregivers, someone who will take it upon themselves to keep the child's emotional needs in mind. The role of mother and father is about a mental attitude, the function they play for the child. It does not have to be a biological parent.

>> We need daddy
Often women find it difficult to let men get involved in caregiving tasks like feeding, bathing and putting to sleep. When a child has emotional access to their fathers, the diversity of experience offers them a wider range of seeing how to live in the world, because men and women live in the world quite differently. Just as an involved father gives a son a sense of someone to look up to, he gives a daughter an experience of being loved and valued - something she will carry with herself into future relationships with men.

>> Prep for school
The first couple of years of kindergarten are not about learning shapes or the alphabet, it is about learning to separate from home. It is a physical/emotional wrench, leaving safety and going to another space - one that can be fun and engaging, provided we can get over the fear of separating from the people we feel safe around. Once children are helped to adapt to this huge change, they can get on with learning. Otherwise, anxiety hampers learning for years afterwards.

Start early with picture story-books or perhaps even a visit to the school for the child to see what it looks like a month or so before the emotional temperature rises in April. Be prepared for repetition for as every parent of a young child knows, once is never enough. Stories that matter the most must be repeated endlessly, without variation so that they can sink in. The story of how everyone leaves home and goes to school is of central emotional import. In fact, it is a rite of passage.

>> Play hard
Using our bodies is a release for everything - anger, anxiety and other feelings - that get stuck in our muscles. In the emphasis on growing children's minds [or getting them to finish homework and projects], we forget about how important it is to be using their bodies. Children are calmer and more attentive, when they have had an experience of using their muscles in activity, especially free play.

>> It's okay to cry
Never tell a child not to cry. All children cry, for all sorts of things, so it is important to first figure out what the crying is trying to communicate. Simply telling a child to stop crying without first trying to understand what is under it, will damage their relationship with you. If the crying is because of sadness, then telling them to stop crying is plain selfish. We do it because we can't bear their expression of sadness. It is far healthier to accept that they are sad, and give them a hug. This kind of acceptance lets them know that while nothing can be done about it, at least their experience is being validated and acknowledged.

>> Don't ignore
Ignoring feelings teaches your child that you don't particularly care for his feelings, just his actions or his/her compliance. This only ensures that the feelings will reappear in a form that is harder to link to its source. In other words, the child will use a defence in order to deal with a feeling, and the anxiety its presence creates.

>> Keep it real
I am not advising that people deny that they also can get angry with their children. "Only love" is not a reality. My aim is to be real with my relationships, including my children. So, I freely express affection - lots of hugs and physical warmth, an hour at bedtime talking about their day and their worries. I also freely express disapproval or annoyance. I explain, and negotiate. As a result, I have very opinionated children who are expressive and open, including about their anger with me or their father. We accept it as real and engage with it as much as is possible at the time.

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