The best traditional events—and how they can be improved.
You’re welcome. by Wm. Steven Humphrey

When it comes to holiday traditions, Portland is horny as all get-out.

We love cramming as much festivity into our festivities as possible—regardless of how tiresome or long-in-the-tooth those annual events have become. What follows is a critical examination of Portland’s most time-honored holiday events, and my recommendations on how they can be improved. (Don’t remember asking me for my opinion? Trust me, it’s never necessary… I have so many! In fact, when it comes to opinions, many people think I’m “full of it.” And there’s a lot more where those came from, so let’s read some now!)

PEACOCK LANE eliza sohn

Description: Peacock Lane is a four-block stretch in Southeast Portland between Stark and Belmont, where many of the home owners go to great lengths to cram every inch of their property with lights and other Jesus and Santa-themed ephemera. During the holiday season the street is jam-packed with thousands of looky-loos on foot and in cars.

The problem: I don’t get it. I mean, I get why the residents do it… you can tell they’ve worked their collective asses off constructing these front lawn art installations, and some (for example, the Grinch house) are goddamn masterpieces. But it’s like if the Portland Art Museum was suddenly filled with thousands of people—including their dogs, snot-nosed kids, and wildly inappropriate double strollers—half of whom are either stoned out of their gourds or 10 seconds away from a rage-fueled meltdown. In short, there are… Too. Many. People!

The solution: A zip line. It’s a well accepted fact that zip lines improve most situations. Sure, they’re useful for getting from one side of a canyon to another, or traversing a tree canopy in Guatemala, but they can be just as useful in an urban environment! Las Vegas is famous for having a zip line that goes from one end of the historic Fremont Street to the other, and it’s a FANTASTIC way to see the sights quickly, efficiently, and to let your vomit rain down upon spandex-wearing moms who did not get the memo that it’s FUCKING RUDE to bring their double strollers to a place where thousands of people are trying to walk. Also if you happen to be high—and SO MANY OF YOU ARE—riding a zip line is AH-MAY-ZING, and will stop you from blocking the sidewalk whenever you slip into an extended Christmas light-induced trance. Trust me, install a zip line over Peacock Lane, charge $15 a ride, and the city’s budget will be funded for lifetimes.

Peacock Lane, between SE Stark & Belmont, Dec 15-31, car-free nights Dec 15 & 16, 6 pm-11 pm, free, keep your fucking double strollers at home

WINTER WONDERLAND:
HOLIDAY LIGHTS AT PORTLAND INTERNATIONAL RACEWAY Sunshine division

Description: Roughly two miles of racetrack decorated with various illuminated and animated holiday figures, including reindeer, snowboarding Santas, dinosaurs, all 12 days of Christmas, a lone menorah, and much more.

The problem: Well, the most obvious problem is that you can’t race. You creep around the track behind a long line of vehicles at around 10 mph—but actually that’s kind of nice, because you seriously do not want to miss the animated dinosaurs. All in all, it’s great… it just needs a couple more levels of excitement, which leads me to….

The solution: First, you could pay teenagers to dress up like the Terminator, wrap them in holiday lights, and have them chase the cars on foot. (I doubt you’d even have to pay them.) OR you could do what I’ve done every season for the past 10 years, which is LET YOUR CHILDREN DRIVE THE CAR! The moment I pay admission and enter the track, I say, “Okay… who’s driving?” The first five minutes are taken up by backseat fistfights to see who gets to drive first. Once that’s decided, they hop behind the steering wheel. Obviously if their feet can’t reach the pedals, you should let them sit in your lap—but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you EVER touch the steering wheel… because where’s the fun in that? They have to learn to drive somehow, and if that means occasionally careening off the track and into one of the 10 lords a’leaping (for his life), then so be it. The best part? There’s not a cop in sight. That’s a true “winter wonderland!”

Portland International Raceway, 1940 N Victory Blvd, Nov 29-Dec 31, Mon-Thurs 5 pm-10 pm, Fri-Sun 4:30 pm-11 pm, $49 per carload

THE 33rd ANNUAL TUBA
CHRISTMAS CONCERT K. Marie

Description: More than 200 tubas take to Pioneer Square to play an array of oompah-rific Christmas songs.

The problem: There is not a single problem with this.

The solution: Look, hearing 200 tubas blaring “Sleigh Ride” across the city is hard to beat. But anything can be improved, right? For example, what if all these tubas were playing “Holly Jolly Christmas,” when suddenly, marching up Sixth Avenue were 200 people playing Christmas songs on what’s known as the tuba’s natural enemy… the saxophone? Ooooooh, tuba players HATE saxophonists, and for good reason. They tend to be morally repugnant individuals who throw their dog’s poop bags into your recycling bin, and regularly destroy any decent song with their ceaseless and unasked-for squawking (take David Bowie’s “Young Americans” for example). Anyway, the 200 saxophonists would call the 200 tubaists into the street for a “Christmas song smack-down” to settle once and for all which is the superior instrument. (We all know it’s the tuba, but there’s no convincing these detestable saxophoneys.) The winners would continue the Pioneer Square concert, as the losers marched to the Morrison Bridge to throw their instruments into the murky depths of the Willamette—never to play again! It’s called “raising the stakes”—and there’s simply not enough of that at Christmas time.

Tuba Christmas Concert, Pioneer Courthouse Square, Sat Dec 21, 1:30 pm, free

THE HOLIDAY EXPRESS Anthony keo / oregon rail heritage center

Description: The Holiday Express is a vintage (TOOT! TOOOOOOT!) 1912 Polson #2 steam locomotive that transports kids and families from the Oregon Rail Heritage Center—porn for train nerds—and along the Willamette River for roughly a couple miles until returning to its starting point. Each train car is heated and decorated in lights and holiday finery, and… at some point… Santa shows up!

The problem: Mmmmm… other than Santa showing up, it’s kinda boring? (Unless you’re a train nerd, but you’re going to be too busy asking endless, arcane locomotive questions to the conductor—whose soul will leave their body—to be concerned about Santa.)

The solution: Can we PLEASE get a gang of cowboys on horses to rob this muthafukkin’ TRAIN?? Bear with me, and picture it: The holiday train is chugga-chugga-choo-chooin’ and toot-toot-tootin’ down the track without a care in the world… UNTIL. 

Out of the Oaks Bottom wetlands come a gang of ruthless, horse-riding villains who gallop down the bike path before hopping on the train, kicking the door open, and barking, “Git yer hands up, varmints!” Screams ring out from the train car as some passengers faint, and a couple of foolhardy “heroes” get a pistol butt to the noggin for their trouble. The bandits steal wallets, watches, necklaces, and other precious family heirlooms, cackling maniacally… UNTIL. 

A loud bump is heard on the roof, and seconds later, a window smashes as SANTA CLAUS comes bursting into the car! Slowly rising to his feet, Santa strikes a pose and says, “Looks like somebody’s getting added to the naughty list!” And with a mighty swing of his red bag, Santa bowls over three of the villains, delivers a sharp uppercut to another, and sends a fifth tumbling off the train with a vicious kick to the scrabble bag… UNTIL.

The ringleader grabs a crying child, puts a six-shooter to its little head, and growls, “One more step, Santy Claus, and I’ll send this li’l pecker-wood to the pearly gates!” A pause, as everyone in the train car holds their breath, tears streaming down the child’s face, and where the only sound is the repetitive clack-clack-clack of the train’s wheels. 

Slowly, Santa drops his bag, and says, “Well, Desperado Dan”—a stupid name for a stupid criminal—”I guess this is my last… STOP!” Santa yanks the “stop requested” cord hanging from the window, sending the train screeching to an ear-piercing halt, as Desperado Dan stumbles and falls, dropping both child and pistol. Santa quickly pulls the kid to safety, and with a devastating right hook, sends the villain into a coma, from which he will never awaken. The children and adults cheer as Santa throws the unconscious body from the train before turning to ask, “Now who here has a hankerin’ for a candy cane?” The train’s occupants rejoice, and for the first time since the debut of the Holiday Express, it was a train ride—and a Christmas—to remember.

Holiday Express, Oregon Rail Heritage Center, 2250 SE Water, Nov 29-January 4, various times, $25-$105, tickets and info 

[Politics] :
A court review is underway for pretrial detention warrants for four people suspected of involvement in election nomination meddling involving first lady Kim Keon-hee, as well as illegal polling. The Changwon District Court started the warrant hearings Thursday afternoon for power broker Myung Tae-kyun, ...

[more...]

Garden Members enjoy a special evening preview shopping experience including light nibbles and refreshments. Enjoy a festive and relaxing holiday shopping experience at the Garden’s Holiday Pop-Up Shop. Browse a curated selection of unique nature-themed gifts in the charming, historic Julia Morgan Hall.  (Registration required for timed entry beginning at either 4:00 pm or 5:30 pm) We currently have 2 arrival time windows to choose from: 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm and 5:30 pm - 7:00pm. Please enter the number of people in your group for selected entry time and plan on arriving during that timeframe. Each member is allowed two additional non-members.Special Event Give-Away!If you register and attend, you will be entered into our $50 Garden Shop gift certificate give-away!Learn more and register here

The Workers Compensation Research Institute is holding a webinar on Nov. 21 to discuss findings from a recent study of the impact of attorney representation on claim payments. Bogdan Sayvch The…

WARSAW, 9 July 2016 ─ Michael Georg Link, Director of the OSCE Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights (ODIHR), today welcomed the decision by the Supreme Court of Kyrgyzstan to reconsider the case of human rights defender Azimjan Askarov, and again called on the Kyrgyz authorities to heed a decision of the UN Human Rights Committee calling for Askarov’s release.

A Supreme Court hearing is scheduled to review Mr. Askarov’s case on Monday, 11 July.

“I welcome Kyrgyzstan’s openness to reviewing Azimjan Askarov’s case, and my Office stands ready to support the Kyrgyz authorities in their implementation of OSCE commitments related to human rights,” said Director Link. “Kyrgyzstan is obligated under both international law and its own Constitution to quash Askarov’s conviction and immediately release him.”

On 21 April 2016, the UN Human Rights Committee decided in favour of a complaint filed by Askarov, finding that he had been arbitrarily detained, held in inhumane conditions, tortured and mistreated, and prevented from adequately preparing his trial defence. The Committee called on Kyrgyzstan to immediately release him, overturn his conviction, and provide him with compensation for the violations of his human rights. Article 41.2 of the Kyrgyz Constitution requires authorities to implement the Human Rights Committee decision.

“Mr. Askarov’s ongoing detention is not only unlawful, as the UN Human Rights Committee made clear, but also inhumane, in light of the serious deterioration of his health,” the ODIHR Director said. “We look forward to Mr. Askarov’s release and the restoration of his rights, including his access to urgently needed medical care outside of confinement.”

Askarov was reportedly subjected to ill-treatment during his initial detention by police and during his trial. Despite very serious health concerns, he was denied access to adequate medical treatment by detention officials. Since then, he has been held at Penal Colony No. 47, in Bishkek, where his health has reportedly deteriorated further.

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Serbia, Early Parliamentary Elections, 24 April 2016: Final Report

The final report by the OSCE Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights (ODIHR) on Serbia’s 24 April 2016 early parliamentary elections recommends a comprehensive review of legislation to further improve election process.  

The report, while finding the elections were efficiently administered and held in a competitive environment, spells out key areas that would benefit from such a review, including unclear rules on candidate registration, inadequate regulation of campaign finance, deficiencies and loopholes in dispute resolution mechanisms, an absence of sanctions for some violations and the lack of provisions on election observation.

The report, published on 29 July 2016, notes that, while fundamental freedoms were respected and candidates were able to campaign freely, biased media coverage, undue advantage of incumbency and a blurring of the distinction between state and party activities hindered a level playing field for contestants. To this end, the report recommends specific campaign regulations, including the introduction of ceilings on campaign expenditures and preventing the misuse of administrative resources and the abuse of office.  

In noting the absence of an effective mechanism for monitoring media conduct during the campaign, the report recommends clarifying the competences of the media regulatory body in investigating and sanctioning breaches of legislation in a timely manner.

A review of the election appeals system to guarantee an effective and timely remedy for all complaints, and particularly in cases related to electionday irregularities and election results, is also among the report’s recommendations.

Additional recommendations relate to providing unrestricted access of citizen and international observers to the entire electoral process, including voting, counting and tabulation, and enhancing the transparency of the tabulation of results.

 

 

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Serbia, Early Parliamentary Elections, 24 April 2016: Final Report

The final report by the OSCE Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights (ODIHR) on Serbia’s 24 April 2016 early parliamentary elections recommends a comprehensive review of legislation to further improve election process.  

The report, while finding the elections were efficiently administered and held in a competitive environment, spells out key areas that would benefit from such a review, including unclear rules on candidate registration, inadequate regulation of campaign finance, deficiencies and loopholes in dispute resolution mechanisms, an absence of sanctions for some violations and the lack of provisions on election observation.

The report, published on 29 July 2016, notes that, while fundamental freedoms were respected and candidates were able to campaign freely, biased media coverage, undue advantage of incumbency and a blurring of the distinction between state and party activities hindered a level playing field for contestants. To this end, the report recommends specific campaign regulations, including the introduction of ceilings on campaign expenditures and preventing the misuse of administrative resources and the abuse of office.  

In noting the absence of an effective mechanism for monitoring media conduct during the campaign, the report recommends clarifying the competences of the media regulatory body in investigating and sanctioning breaches of legislation in a timely manner.

A review of the election appeals system to guarantee an effective and timely remedy for all complaints, and particularly in cases related to electionday irregularities and election results, is also among the report’s recommendations.

Additional recommendations relate to providing unrestricted access of citizen and international observers to the entire electoral process, including voting, counting and tabulation, and enhancing the transparency of the tabulation of results.

 

 

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• OSCE/ODIHR final report on Serbia’s parliamentary elections notes respect for fundamental freedoms, recommends steps to further improve election process
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Maingear ML-16 Gaming Laptop: Starting $1,699 (w/ 4060), $1,977 (w/ 4070) The Maingear ML-16 is a powerful, portable gaming laptop with a super-fast 240Hz display and premium build quality. Premium Build Quality Vibrant 16-inch QHD 240Hz Display No Bloatware Excellent Customer Service Laptop Lid Can Be Customized With Custom Graphics...

Writer-director stars alongside a strong Kieran Culkin in engaging dramedy.

"The Cher Show" takes a novel approach to breaking down the life of Cher, and in many ways succeeds. It's at the Dr. Phillips Center.

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[Written by Dale Butler] It was a busy weekend for Bermuda’s Filipino community this past weekend; the Filipino Association held a karaoke contest, which was won by Ariel Timbal, on Saturday night at the Vasco da Gama Club and on Sunday, the Filipino Club 2000 held a gala at Cambridge Beaches. Both events were sold […]

Helen of Wyndhorn #6 is this week's lead Wednesday Comics review, plus we look at G.I. Joe, Arcbound, and more!

The Kings are on the final game of their two-game road trip after losing to the Calgary Flames on Monday night, 3-1. They will be in Colorado to face the Avalance in what should be a spirited bout. The Kings have not fared well against the Avalanche in their last ten matches, going 3-7-0. ...

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Apple's long-overdue overhaul of the Mac mini shrinks an already great package even more, yet it still punches far above its weight class.

I've owned a Mac mini since the very first G4 model. In an era of bulky towers and a G4 Cube just years before that impressed but didn't deliver, the little box brought Apple power to a small desktop package, and I was enthused.

And since then, I've had one in service 24/7 constantly. Even now with a Mac Studio on my desk, there's one upstairs in use with a family member, one in the other room silently humming away acting as my network attached storage and test platform, and a few more on my shelf that I've hoarded over the years, just waiting for an application.


Continue Reading on AppleInsider | Discuss on our Forums

Guerrilla Games’ latest Horizon title — the second one in two weeks — is a candy-coloured reinterpretation of Horizon Zero Dawn, which just got a remaster that dialled up the graphical presentation of the 2017 breakout PS4 hit. Lego Horizon Adventures, on the other hand, amps up the silliness.

1. Kanguva Twitter Review: Netizens LAUDS Suriya's Performance But Call Film's Execution 'Clumsy'  Times Now
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The new musical starring Karla Sofía Gascón, Zoe Saldaña and Selena Gomez is a convoluted misfire.

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Retailers are asking the government to review the eligibility conditions for the second phase of its 10,000-baht handout to ensure the target groups are helped, in particular vulnerable groups affected by the economic slowdown.

Riding, J B; Mariani, E; Fensome, R A. Review of Palaeobotany and Palynology vol. 299, 104605, 2022 p. 1-37, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.revpalbo.2022.104605
<a href="https://geoscan.nrcan.gc.ca/images/geoscan/20210363.jpg"><img src="https://geoscan.nrcan.gc.ca/images/geoscan/20210363.jpg" title="Review of Palaeobotany and Palynology vol. 299, 104605, 2022 p. 1-37, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.revpalbo.2022.104605" height="150" border="1" /></a>

Dafoe, L T; Dickie, K; Williams, G L. Geological synthesis of Baffin Island (Nunavut) and the Labrador-Baffin Seaway; by Dafoe, L T (ed.); Bingham-Koslowski, N (ed.); Geological Survey of Canada, Bulletin 608, 2022 p. 219-246, https://doi.org/10.4095/321846
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‘Where people have made genuine mistakes they shouldn’t be prosecuted’ says transport secretary Louise Haigh

Filed under: Europe, North America, France, United Kingdom, United States

The litany of year-end travel-related lists continues. Today, it's TripAdvisor, which unveiled its most reviewed cities. Leading the way: London, Rome and Paris, according to the Telegraph. The top U.S city was New York, which ranked fourth overall -- a stunning blow for American exceptionalism.

Continue reading London, Rome, Paris Top TripAdvisor's Most-Reviewed Cities List

London, Rome, Paris Top TripAdvisor's Most-Reviewed Cities List originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 17 Dec 2013 14:11:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Malta International Airport generated €107.8 million in revenue for the first nine months of 2024, posting a net profit of €39.5 million

Background

Asthma exacerbations in children pose a significant burden on healthcare systems and families. While traditional risk assessment tools exist, artificial intelligence (AI) offers the potential for enhanced prediction models.

Objective

This study aims to systematically evaluate and quantify the performance of machine learning (ML) algorithms in predicting the risk of hospitalisation and emergency department (ED) admission for acute asthma exacerbations in children.

Methods

We performed a systematic review with meta-analysis, following the Preferred Reporting Items for Systematic Reviews and Meta-Analyses (PRISMA) guidelines. The risk of bias and applicability for eligible studies was assessed according to the prediction model study risk of bias assessment tool (PROBAST). The protocol of our systematic review was registered in the International Prospective Register of Systematic Reviews.

Results

Our meta-analysis included seven articles encompassing a total of 17 ML-based prediction models. We found a pooled area under the curve (AUC) of 0.67 (95% CI 0.61–0.73; I²=99%; p<0.0001 for heterogeneity) for models predicting ED admission, indicating moderate accuracy. Notably, models predicting child hospitalisation demonstrated a higher pooled AUC of 0.79 (95% CI 0.76–0.82; I²=95%; p<0.0001 for heterogeneity), suggesting good discriminatory power.

Conclusion

This study provides the most comprehensive assessment of AI-based algorithms in predicting paediatric asthma exacerbations to date. While these models show promise and ML-based hospitalisation prediction models, in particular, demonstrate good accuracy, further external validation is needed before these models can be reliably implemented in real-life clinical practice.

Background

Lung cancer ranks as the leading cause of cancer-related deaths worldwide. There is evidence that second-hand smoke (SHS) exposure is a risk factor for the development of lung cancer in never-smokers. This systematic review and meta-analysis aims to provide the most accurate quantification of the association between SHS exposure and lung cancer risk in never-smokers.

Materials and methods

Through the use of an innovative method to identify original publications, we conducted a systematic review of the literature, with corresponding meta-analysis, of all epidemiological studies evaluating the association between SHS exposure and lung cancer risk among never-smokers, published up to May 2023. Pooled relative risks were obtained using random-effects models. Dose–response relationships were derived using log-linear functions or cubic splines.

Results

Out of 126 identified eligible studies, 97 original articles were included in the meta-analysis. The pooled relative risk for lung cancer for overall exposure to SHS was 1.24 (95% CI 1.16–1.32, number of articles, n=82). Setting-specific relative risks were 1.20 (95% CI 1.12–1.28, n=67) for SHS exposure at home, 1.38 (95% CI 1.28–1.62, n=30) at a workplace, 1.37 (95% CI 1.22–1.53, n=28) at home or a workplace and 1.27 (95% CI 1.11–1.44, n=24) in nonspecified settings. The risk of lung cancer significantly increased with the duration, intensity and pack-years of SHS exposure.

Conclusions

This meta-analysis shows that exposure to SHS increases by more than 20% the risk of lung cancer among never-smokers, providing definitive evidence of the association between SHS exposure and lung cancer risk.

The feverish Cannes-winning spectacle dazzles with audacity but stumbles under the weight of its own ambition