It's Autumn, that time of year when the leaves are falling, the air is brisk, and porches all over America are decorated with pumpkins. My porch was like that. I had seven wonderful pumpkins of various sizes, lining the side of the stairs. The key word here is "had".
When I stepped out yesterday morning to get the paper, I was met by a very sad site indeed. All but one of my pumpkins had been butchered. Bits and pieces of their orange flesh lay strewn all over the place. It was a total "what the fuck" moment.
I stood there, trying to take it all in, when suddenly I became aware of what had happened and who the culprits were. Sitting there, over by the bushes, were four of the little bastards, still stuffing themselves on pumpkin guts and seeds. Fucking squirrels were at the bottom of this mess. After a year of the little tree rats eating my tomatoes, garden bulbs and other various parts of my yard, I was through!
I reached down, grabbed a rock from the side of the porch, and took aim on one of the little shit weeds... hee hee.
The upside is that I do have one small pumpkin left. The downside is that now, I have to go out and replace the others before our Halloween party this weekend. As though I didn't have enough to do. By the way, does anyone have a good recipe for squirrel appetizers? ...
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