Towards the end of this slightly jumbled but always engaging book comes a sentence so striking that it should have been placed at the beginning: 'I was ten years old when I found my first human bone.'

CRAIG BROWN: Harry and Meghan can look forward to a lively social scene in downtown Toronto. The Half A Sixpence nightclub hosts a Tommy Steele night every Tuesday and Thursday.

CRAIG BROWN: Q: I have an ingrowing toenail. What should I do about it, Dr Donald? DR DONALD SAYS: Nobody knows ingrowing toenails like I do, and that's a fact.

CRAIG BROWN COLUMN: Part One of an A-Z guide to the next 10,00 hours of Lockdown TV. From arms dealers to chief inspectors and ex-girlfriends.

Our book critic tests your knowledge of the best boosk released in 2019, with this fun, challenging literary quiz

The most frequently quoted observation about Hollywood is the simplest, and possibly also the truest. 'In Hollywood,' said screenwriter William Goldman, 'no one knows anything.'

Ah, the Golden Age of Travel! This is not a book to be read while you are standing cooped-up on a crowded staircase for ten minutes as part of Ryanair's 'Priority Boarding'

Moving into the White House, which had just been built in the middle of a rutted field, America's second president, John Adams, prayed: 'May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof.'

For the most part, Kate Fall regards her role as a memoirist as an extension of her job as gatekeeper: to present the polished face of the Cameron administration to the world

Now aged 93 ('well past my sell-by date'), Jan Morris has taken to keeping a diary, or something like a diary, but more public, as it is clearly written for publication

CRAIG BROWN: Hardly anyone seems prepared to acknowledge that though the scissors method may be unorthodox, it represents a perfect solution to a problem that has long plagued mankind.

CRAIG BROWN: Sir, I was interested to read the open letter sent by leaders of Women's Aid and the Women's Equality Party.

CRAIG BROWN: Fresh from London, he informed me that the new Cockney rhyming slang for coronavirus is 'Miley Cyrus'.

CRAIG BROWN Sir, I was both saddened and distressed by the views expressed by the distinguished parrot, Ms Pretty Polly, in her recent letter to your column.

CRAIG BROWN: Hard to believe, but next month sees the 50th anniversary of the day The Beatles broke up.

CRAIG BROWN: Today, I had been planning to turn the tables on Barry Cryer.

CRAIG BROWN: You get out of your chair with a groan, walk to the kitchen, pick up a KitKat, and return to your chair, sighing 'Oof!' as you sit down.

CRAIG BROWN: WPC Snow White raids a woodland house and discovers an unlicensed gathering of up to seven dwarves failing to employ social distancing

CRAIG BROWN: These are strange times and many people who are otherwise perfectly healthy have started to feel the tell-tale symptoms stirring inside them.

CRAIG BROWN: Death has its draw­-backs, particularly for those whose toupees survive them. Recently, an auction house in Bristol sold off items that had belonged to Peter Wyngarde (pictured).

CRAIG BROWN: How to relax in these troubling times? Ann Ziety is the doyenne of Los Angeles relaxation gurus.

CRAIG BROWN: Last week, there were two major cultural anniversaries. Two hundred and fifty years ago, on April 7, 1770, William Wordsworth was born.

CRAIG BROWN: How times change! I've just discovered an article from the April 1972 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

CRAIG BROWN: Rock stars, young and old, no longer feel the need to act like rock stars. Once upon a time, they were grubby and ill-behaved. Now, they are spotlessly clean and models of good behaviour.

CRAIG BROWN: Ann Ziety is the author of Just Relax and I Said, Just Relax, Weren't You Listening?'. Here is our first extract from her forthcoming bestseller, Coping With Lockdown.

CRAIG BROWN: Q: I have an ingrowing toenail. What should I do about it, Dr Donald? DR DONALD SAYS: Nobody knows ingrowing toenails like I do, and that's a fact.

CRAIG BROWN: Five years ago, I went to see a splendidly grim Icelandic film called Rams, about two hairy old sheep-farming brothers. Gummi and Kiddi refused to speak to each other for 40 years.

CRAIG BROWN: Q: What is your recommended cure for insomnia, Dr Donald? DR DONALD: You've asked the right guy. You know what?

CRAIG BROWN COLUMN: Part One of an A-Z guide to the next 10,00 hours of Lockdown TV. From arms dealers to chief inspectors and ex-girlfriends.

CRAIG BROWN: How times change! I've just discovered an article from the April 1972 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

CRAIG BROWN: Rock stars, young and old, no longer feel the need to act like rock stars. Once upon a time, they were grubby and ill-behaved. Now, they are spotlessly clean and models of good behaviour.

The anomaly at the heart of Right Or Wrong: The Memoir Of Lord Bell: half the time, Bell is bragging about preferring lying to telling the truth. The other half, he is standing on his high horse. 

The renowned social historian Virginia Nicholson interviewed 40 veterans of the Swinging Sixties for her latest book, How Was It For You? One of them now walks with the aid of a Zimmer frame

Moving into the White House, which had just been built in the middle of a rutted field, America's second president, John Adams, prayed: 'May none but Honest and Wise Men ever rule under This Roof.'

For the most part, Kate Fall regards her role as a memoirist as an extension of her job as gatekeeper: to present the polished face of the Cameron administration to the world

Think you know all about the Beatles? Wait till you read this mesmerising biography of Britain's greatest band - by Britain's greatest critic...

Now aged 93 ('well past my sell-by date'), Jan Morris has taken to keeping a diary, or something like a diary, but more public, as it is clearly written for publication

CRAIG BROWN: As his girth attested, Helmut Kohl liked his food. In fact, he could be called something of a glutton. His favourite dish was Saumagen, which literally means 'sow's stomach'.

CRAIG BROWN: Sir, I was interested to read the open letter sent by leaders of Women's Aid and the Women's Equality Party.

CRAIG BROWN: No doubt she breakfasts with Gwyneth Paltrow, exchanges selfies with Kim Kardashian and makes impassioned calls for inclusivity at all the major red-carpet events.