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'Every pub is closed. As an Irishman, I can safely say this denotes the Apocalypse is truly upon us'

James Blunt messaged me. He owns a pub in Chelsea and wasn't sure if he should close it after the Prime Minister said he was 'suggesting', not ordering, people to avoid pubs




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'Rationing Scotch eggs? The sacrifice just got very real'

'Dada, I have terrible news.' Oh God, had Celia gone down with coronavirus?No, it was worse than that. 'They're rationing Scotch eggs,' Elise said




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'Your self isolation is easy,' said Geldof. 'No one wants to be near you anyway!'

Bob Geldof said he would never be interviewed by me because, as he put it in his typical fruity language: 'You're too f****** good a journalist and will get me to say stuff I don't want to say!'




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The most serious story of my lifetime - and I looked like a human pumpkin...

'How bad is it?' I whispered to Susanna Reid. 'It's not great,' she giggled. 'There are some… blending issues.'




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A dozen pints with my mates and a curry... that will be my taste of freedom

Honor Blackman, my favourite Bond girl as sassy Pussy Galore, died, aged 94, at her home in Lewes, East Sussex, three miles from my village of Newick




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'We've fought so many battles,' Captain Tom told me. 'We will win again'

Captain Tom Moore passed his 100 laps but vowed to keep going: 'I'll continue walking as long as people are generous enough to donate to the NHS.'




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'You gotta win,' Donald Trump told me. But right now, he's losing'

President Trump unfollowed me on Twitter overnight, which, given that he follows only 47 accounts, was not an insignificant moment




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Nick Reilly, President of General Motors Europe, retires after nearly 40 years

There was a touching farewell at the RAC Club in Pall Mall, London, to a much-loved and well-respected motor industry boss who really has put his own money where his mouth is.




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Jobs boost for Jaguar Land Rover as Indian owners double investment to £1.5bn a year

The extra cash injection and prospect of thousands of new jobs comes as the firm is set to announce Jaguar and Land Rover production in booming China.




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Jaguar puts the boot in with new XF Sportbrake estate

The new British-built 150mph Jaguar XF Sportbrake is set to be one of the stars of next week’s Geneva Motor Show when it is officially unveiled – as well as making shopping trips rather more fun.




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Millionth Land Rover Discovery rolls off the production line to explore new challenges

Beloved of intrepid explorers and school run mums alike, the one millionth Land Rover Discovery rolled off the production line today before embarking on an epic 8,000 mile fund-raising expedition miles to China.




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Motoring ahead... now China's super-rich top Bentley-buying league

It is the first time China has led the Bentley sales table, a landmark that will be seen as another sign of a new world economic order.




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Ray Massey: Mercedes-Benz unveiled its svelte and sporty new CLS, a style that owes its heritage to hunting

It's not every day an international luxury car company holds the global launch of its latest model in Britain — and brings over its top brass to do the honours.




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Ray Massey: Mad for a Mazda

This cat is so easy to live with, I grew into it like a much-loved jacket. Driving it quickly became second nature.




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RAY MASSEY: Vauxhall unveils cute city car

In its quest to become more Motoring upwardly mobile and cool, Vauxhall has unveiled its new small, but perfectly formed, upmarket urban runaround called . . . Adam.




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Alfa turns up the heat with the latest model

Ray Massey does a mini test drive on the latest model and he is impressed by the sporty style of the new Alfa Romeo Giulietta 1.4 TB MultiAir 170bhp TCT Veloce.




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Welcome home the car that beat the Nazis to Olympic gold in 1936

A British sports car, whose determined lady driver beat the Nazis to win Olympic gold at the Berlin Games of 1936, has revved into London 2012.




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Toyota goes bolder and sleeker with new Auris

Toyota has sent its British-built family car to boot camp. The result is a toned-up, better performing model.




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Volvo with va-va voom

The smart new Volvo V40 is the Swedish maker's first foray into the competitive upmarket family hatchback arena.




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Lana del Rey unveils Jaguar's flashy new F-Type sports car

Sultry pop star Lana del Rey took the wraps off Jaguar's flashy new F-Type sports car, pictured right, as a string of new British vehicles stole the Paris Motor Show from under the noses of the French this week.




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RAY MASSEY: California dreaming with the new Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet

I love the look of the new Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet which makes its world debut at the Los Angeles Motor Show on November 28 and will go on sale in Britain in spring.




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WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MailOnline's Ray Massey tests James Bond 007's new Range Rover before Daniel Craig in Skyfall

James Bond star Daniel Craig performed a top secret mission right under the noses of the world's media at this week's royal global premier of the latest 007 movie, Skyfall, which goes on general release today.




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Britain's cheapest car the Dacia Sandero goes on sale for just £6,000

Start queuing for the Dacia Sandero - it’s Britain’s cheapest car at less than £6,000. Renault bought the Romanian car-maker in 1999 as its ‘budget’ brand and the UK market is the final piece of the jigsaw.




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RAY MASSEY: Sixteen will soon be able to drive to school on an updated moped

The Aixam Coupe S (pictured) may look like a compact city car, but it is classed as a ‘light quadricycle’, which can be driven with a moped licence.




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RAY MASSEY: The Honda CR-V is the best 4x4 so far

This is the fourth generation of the Honda CR-V, which has established itself as a mainstay of Middle Britain for adaptable family transport since the first generation arrived in Europe in 1997.




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Audi launch family car that's believed to be the world's fastest estate

It accelerates from rest to 62 mph in 3.9 seconds and will cost around £77,000 when in showrooms early next year (for delivery in summer).




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RAY MASSEY: Skoda to launch car with 'middle-class qualities at a compact car price'

Production of the third generation Octavia started this month at the Mlada Boleslav plant in the Czech Republic, ahead of its March launch in Britain.




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Continental GT Speed: Bentley unveils what is claims is the world's fastest four-seater covertibel

It will be in showrooms this spring, priced at £160,000, following its global unveiling at the Detroit Motor Show on January 14. Bentley describes it as its ' performance flagship convertible'.




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Ray Massey brings MailOnline an exclusive sneak peak of the cars of the future as the Future Drive Motor show revs up for its launch this Spring

Major car makers including Vauxhall, Nissan, Citroen and Volvo will exhibit a range of their latest and yet to launch vehicles as well as providing test drives at the Future Drive Motor Show.




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We're all dreaming of a supercar future: Aston Martin and McLaren lead the way as Brits' fantasy wheels

What would you splash out on if your numbers came up? According to new research, for British car fans, nothing but a Bentley will do.




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First drive: Behind the wheel of the astonishing fuel-slashing 313mpg Volkswagen that could put tax grabbing Chancellor - and a few filling stations - out of businesses

Mailonline has had an exclusive first drive of the astonishing new ‘green’ super-frugal car offering 2p a mile motoring that could swiftly put Osborne and the Treasury out of business.




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Nissan turns over a new LEAF: Japanese manufacturer unveils its redesigned electric car which promises to end 'range anxiety'

With a longer range, lots of extra space and a heavier steer, the Nissan LEAF might be small but it drives like one of the big boys - and that's no bad thing.




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Table manners please! Motor-bike champion's table-top ride takes the biscuit at the stately home of dashing speed-king Lord March

RAY MASSEY: As controversial table-manners go, it certainly beats resting on your elbows. This remarkable stunt came as the dashing Earl of March hosted a sumptuous sponsors and press dinner.




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Ray Massey test drives the new Toyota GT 86 car

It has classic sporty looks, a spirited driving performance and is an engaging Toyota to suit carefree, boy racers now with families in tow.




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Ray Massey test-drives the stunning new Jaguar F-Type roadster over more than 200 miles- on roach and track- in Navarre, Northern Spain

Ray Massey test out the sexy new Jaguar F-type sports car, which has a top speed of 186mph and will accelerate to 60mph in just 4.2 seconds.




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RAY MASSEY mini test: This is one hot cat

Jaguar's sexy new F-type sports car hit the road this week and from my exclusive first drive, I can tell you that the cat has got the cream, writes RAY MASSEY.




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RAY MASSEY mini test: High marks in French

French car-maker Citroen has piled in with a practical five-seater cabriolet that allows the whole family to enjoy wind-in the-hair motoring, writes RAY MASSEY.




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Ray Massey: Peugeot gears up for launch of its new 2008 urban crossover

The French maker promises up to 61.8 mpg from the car, which was unveiled at the recent Geneva Motor Show.




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Ray Massey: Britain's legendary Land Rover gears up for its 65th anniversary celebrations

The British car maker is marking its big day with a striking display of its heritage and future technology, proving that although it's 65, the car won't be pensioned off.




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Ray Massey mini test: Room for one more KIA Carens '3' 1.7 CRDi manual

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a growing family must be in want of a multi-purpose car, writes RAY MASSEY of the £23,895 KIA Carens '3' 1.7 CRDi manual.




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Road craters drive you mad? New Mercedes-Benz limousine scans road surface to brace itself prior to impact

Mercedes-Benz' new flagship S-Class limousine, pictured, could be the cleverest car on the road; it can 'see' potholes and bumps ahead, writes RAY MASSEY.




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Ray Massey mini test: The Peugeot 208 GTI is a dream re-hatched

The Peugeot 205 GTi became an icon of the Eighties. Now, almost three decades on, comes what Peugeot believes is its true spiritual successor - the 208 GTi, writes RAY MASSEY.




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BMW has high hopes for the new generation of its X5 off-roader

The luxury 4x4, which BMW dubs a sports activity vehicle, broke cover this week. It goes on sale here in November, writes RAY MASSEY.




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Aston Martin set to launch 'no compromise' £200,000 flagship soft-top convertible

That rare shaft of sunshine this week was enough for British supercar-maker Aston Martin to launch a blistering £200,000 flagship soft-top, a highlight of its centenary year.




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Firm hopes their new compact Mazda 3 saloon will rival the Volkswagen Golf

Japan's Mazda unveiled its new five-door small family hatchback simultaneously in five locations across the globe this week - including Britain.




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Happy birthday! The Porsche 911 turns 50 this month

Earplugs ready! German sports car meister Porsche and the Goodwood Festival of Speed are revving up for their birthdays this month. Porsche will mark the 50th anniversary of its classic 911.




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The ultimate off-road experience? Ray Massey drives the new Range Rover Sport through a decommissioned Boeing 747

My test drive of the new Range Rover Sport was exacting enough, before I tackled the decommissioned jumbo at Cotswold Airport, near Cirencester, Glos.




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Mercedes-Benz reveals its first-ever compact SUV, the aerodynamic GLA

All roads lead to Germany next week as the Frankfurt Motor Show gets under way. Mercedes-Benz will be showing off its first-ever SUV.




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Citroen's new eye-catching family car is cheerful but not cheap

RAY MASSEY: The first things to catch the eye are the curious blisters of air-filled plastic, which adorn the sides of the door and bodywork.




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Smitten with the bug: RAY MASSEY tests the Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet

It’s no slouch. On Germany’s unrestricted motorways, it’ll cruise happily and legally top-down in the ‘slow’ lane at 100 mph.